This is a timed essay (30 mins), could someone please mark it tentatively and also give feedback?
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers-some say because its product lacks the exceptional loud noise made by the motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but the sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the soundtrack."
Author believes strongly that the copy of the original motorcycle X is unable to attract customers of motorcycle X because of some reason other than noise of the engine of the motorcycle. While this argument may have some merit but it firstly, omits a few important factors, and secondly, incorrectly compares two different lines of products.
Firstly, the author omits to recognize the loud noise of the original motorcycle X as a valid reason for the customers preferring it over an identical motorcycle without the noise. the author needs to recognize that a motorcycle X lover may buy it for its unique noise, apart from the obvious good looks, and the this unique noise does not only male the motorcycle X unique but also enables others to differentiate between motorcycle X and its copy. Secondly, what the television advertisement highlights does not necessarily represent what the motorcycle X sells for. While the sleek lines and durability can be prerequisites to the purchase but there could be other reasons to a purchase, such as, the motorcycle X may have created a cult or a heritage factor in the minds of the potential customers due to which they do not switch their tastes from motorcycle X to the competitors copy of motorcycle X.
Additionally, the author incorrectly compares care to motorcycles. People who buy motorcycle x may buy it for very different reasons from the quietness, such as the reasons mentioned above.
In sum, the author has been unable to recognize factors that are equally important as sleek designs and durability in a purchase decision. The Author needs to look at the decision from a customers' point of view.
"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers-some say because its product lacks the exceptional loud noise made by the motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but the sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the soundtrack."
Author believes strongly that the copy of the original motorcycle X is unable to attract customers of motorcycle X because of some reason other than noise of the engine of the motorcycle. While this argument may have some merit but it firstly, omits a few important factors, and secondly, incorrectly compares two different lines of products.
Firstly, the author omits to recognize the loud noise of the original motorcycle X as a valid reason for the customers preferring it over an identical motorcycle without the noise. the author needs to recognize that a motorcycle X lover may buy it for its unique noise, apart from the obvious good looks, and the this unique noise does not only male the motorcycle X unique but also enables others to differentiate between motorcycle X and its copy. Secondly, what the television advertisement highlights does not necessarily represent what the motorcycle X sells for. While the sleek lines and durability can be prerequisites to the purchase but there could be other reasons to a purchase, such as, the motorcycle X may have created a cult or a heritage factor in the minds of the potential customers due to which they do not switch their tastes from motorcycle X to the competitors copy of motorcycle X.
Additionally, the author incorrectly compares care to motorcycles. People who buy motorcycle x may buy it for very different reasons from the quietness, such as the reasons mentioned above.
In sum, the author has been unable to recognize factors that are equally important as sleek designs and durability in a purchase decision. The Author needs to look at the decision from a customers' point of view.
