Please rate my issue essay

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Please rate my issue essay

by dipbha » Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:48 am
"Employees should expect no privacy while on the job, even when engaging in personal communication via telephone or e-mail. Employers are paying for their employees' time and have a reasonable expectation that this time is spent solely on work-related activities."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your views with reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


Essay:

Employee privacy is a complicated matter and needs to be handled carefully in order to prevent any disturbance in the corporate environment. Even though the employers are paying for their employees' time it would be unethical if no privacy is given to the employees. Hence I am of the opinion that some privacy must be given to employees in order to ensure optimum utilization of human resource in an organization.

Primarily, personal communication leads to better bonding between people. If all emails and teelephone communication were to be made public then this would interpersonal communication among employees. Though the primary purpose of the employees is to work for their employers, personal communication among employees is also important. Such communication not only helps in refreshing the employees minds but also helps reduce stress. Personal communication may also lead to creative ideas which may be implemented for the benefit the company. For example many ideas for marketing campaign in our firm come through personal communication among the employees.

Further more, Personal communication with customers such as calling customers to ask about their health and well being also leads a better customer-employee relationship. These personal calls made by employees to the customers help develop a friendly relationship among them. Some level of personal communication is also needed as there may be a family emergency which needs to b attended urgently. Hence if all personal communication were banned in an organization it would lead to an stifling and discomforting environment.

Although some employees may use such freedom for personal communication to waste time and have fun on the job. It is required that there be check on the level of personal communication. Employees may also use personal communication to disturb other employees who are working. In such cases rather than restricting personal communication, management should look modify employee behavior.

In sum, allowing no privacy on the job can lead to harmful consequences for an organization.
Lack of privacy may often lead to disputes and may harm the office environment. Although there should be some check on the privacy of employees yet a complete no privacy policy should be avoided and a reasonable level of personal communication should be encouraged.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by grockit_andrea » Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:42 am
I'm on the 3/4 line with this one. You've got the length and broad organizational structure of a 4; your thesis is clear, you have two paragraphs supporting your argument and one rebutting the opposing view, and you wrap everything up in a sufficient conclusion. However, your content is disorganized and not very well supported. Each body paragraph should address one supporting point, and then give details and an example of that point. Your second and third paragraphs both have good topic sentences, but in each paragraph, you throw in other ideas that aren't directly related to that point. For instance, your second paragraph purports to discuss "bonding between people," but then goes into how personal communication can lead to creative ideas, benefiting the company. Your third paragraph discusses both using personal communication to build a rapport with clients, and using it in case of a family emergency. Neither paragraph has a strong supporting example; try to use real life examples from business, current events, etc., to support your points, rather than vague hypotheticals, and stick to one idea per paragraph.
Overall, you're writing enough in the time provided, and you have a template for your essay; that's a major accomplishment. But you need to refine your argumentative skills and improve your micro-organization. Good luck in your continued practice!
Andrea A.
Grockit Tutor
https://www.grockit.com

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by dipbha » Mon Jul 05, 2010 8:41 am
Thanks for your insight. I will surely try to incorporate all the points mentioned by you in my next essay.

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