mbaMission's Monday Morning Essay Tip

[mbaMissionJessica]

Every Monday, mbaMission posts an essay tip to help you in crafting your essays. Here's the one from July 6: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... struction/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Parallel Construction
July 6th, 2009

Longer and more complex sentences often require parallel construction. Simply put, parallel construction ensures that any given longer sentence has a standard rhythm or construction. With parallel construction, each pronoun corresponds with another pronoun, each verb corresponds with another verb, each adjective matches with a corresponding adjective, and so on. Parallel construction can certainly happen in shorter sentences as well, and to great effect.

Consider the example “To be or not to be” – Hamlet’s words, which are among the most famous in the English language. Shakespeare wrote this short sentence in perfect parallel form; “to be” is matched perfectly with its corresponding negative “not to be” and is separated only by the necessary word “or.” Another short example from history provides a similar example of parallel construction: “I came, I saw, I conquered.” With these words, Julius Caesar was speaking in perfect parallel construction – the grammatical form is a pronoun (the word “I”) followed by a verb in the past tense (“came,” “saw,” “conquered”).

If we were to change that famous phrase just a touch, the amazing quality that it has would be lost and it would become unremarkable. For example, if Caesar had said, “I came, I saw, and I became the conqueror,” no one would be quoting him today (because the rhythm would be destroyed – it would now be verb, verb, phrase). Keep this rule in mind for everything that you write, especially for longer sentences.

Some final examples:

Bad: There are three key reasons for this success: understanding our client, trying harder than our competition and teamwork.
Good: There are three key reasons for this success: understanding our client, trying harder than our competition and working as a team. (In this example, gerunds–i.e., the words ending in “ing”–all parallel each other, unlike in the example above.)

Bad: We are in the forestry business. We sell wood to hardware stores and paper to stationery stores.
Good: We are in the forestry business. We sell wood and paper.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Here's a new essay tip, Rankings are Taboo: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... are-taboo/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Rankings Are Taboo
May 4th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Candidates should thoroughly explain their interest in a specific school by developing arguments that center on academic and environmental attributes (e.g., research institutes, professors, experiential learning opportunities, classes, pedagogies), but candidates should definitely not identify rankings as a reason for applying. Prospective students, administrations and alumni all pay tremendous attention to rankings, but in an application essay (and in interviews), the topic is entirely taboo.

Why? Rankings are a measure of a school’s reputation and tend to fluctuate from year to year. By citing rankings, you are indicating that you could grow quite dissatisfied by a drop in prestige, as conveyed by such rakings, that is out of the school’s control—a drop that, from the school’s perspective, could put your relationship, as a future student and later as an alumnus/alumna, at risk. Further, schools want to be sure that you are attracted to their various academic offerings and that you have profound professional needs that they can satisfy. Rankings, however, are superficial, and referencing them in your application materials undermines the profundity of your research and motives.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Here's another one: Careful with Humor; https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... ith-humor/

Virtually every week, as part of our Monday Morning Essay Tip, we offer a “how to” and a “how not to” example. This week, we cannot offer a simple illustration, because we are focusing on the issue of humor, which is nuanced and can only be deemed appropriate with a full understanding of the context in which it is presented.

So, instead of a rule, we offer a strong suggestion: be very careful when using humor in your essays; there is a fine line between being funny and showing yourself to be immature, inappropriate or even careless.

In our view, those who use humor best are writers who possess the skill to come across as clever or witty and are not striving to reveal themselves as stand-up comics. Your essays are not the venue to showcase your latest routine, but can be used to reveal your personality through a mildly self-deprecating anecdote with humorous undertones.

Remember, humor is not itself the goal in your essay, but part of a broader story and message to the reader. If you have a strong voice and can use humor with subtlety, then proceed; even so, do so with caution and ensure that you get a solid critique before you submit your final draft.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Three is a Trend

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... is-a-trend

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Three Is a Trend
May 18th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

At mbaMission, we encourage candidates to SHOW their experience, not TELL the reader conclusions. So, for example, a candidate may mistakenly choose to TELL the reader: “I performed exceptionally well in my job and was promoted.” In this case, the reader is left wondering: “What did he/she do so well to earn that promotion?” The reader needs the whole story to “prove” the conclusion.

In this spirit, we find that candidates occasionally think that they are providing the whole story by offering a single data point:

Example 1: “For me, as an avid paraglider, extreme sports are not just a hobby but a way of life.” In this case, the conclusion—that the candidate “lives” for extreme sports—is not substantiated. One data point is not enough to “prove” this conclusion.

Example 2: “For me, as an avid paraglider and budding heli-skier, extreme sports are not just a hobby but a way of life.” With the addition of the mention of a second activity, the applicant’s case becomes more compelling.

Example 3: “For me, as an avid paraglider, budding heli-skier and experienced cliff diver, extreme sports are not just a hobby but a way of life.” This series of three examples makes it somewhat undeniable that the candidate is indeed passionate about extreme sports.

Of course, we have used a simplified example here and would suggest that a candidate put his/her experience into action (show the passion via experience: “Leaping from a ten meter cliff, I….”), depending on the context of the essay.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Here's one of the tips I have found most helpful to explain how to make every part of the essay work to your advantage: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... sentation/ Overrepresenting your Overrepresentation

Many in the MBA application pool—particularly male investment bankers and Indian software engineers—worry that they are overrepresented. While applicants can’t change their work histories, they can change the way they introduce themselves to Admissions Committees.

Example 1: “As an investment banker, I….”

Example 2: “Managing a team to code a new software product for ABC Corp., I….”

In these brief examples, each candidate mistakenly introduces the reader to the very overrepresentation that he/she is trying to avoid. Many applicants feel it necessary to start their essays by offering their titles or company names, but this approach can immediately give the reader pause: “Here we go again.”

Overrepresented candidates need to consider their introductory lines quite carefully. Rather than stating the obvious, a candidate might immerse the reader in a situation or present a special aspect of his/her position.

Example 1 (launching into a story): “At 5:30 pm, I could rest easy. The deadline for all other offers had passed. At that point, I knew….”

Example 2: (stand out): “While managing a multinational team, half in Silicon Valley and half in Pakistan, I….”

In the first example here, the banker candidate avoids drab self-introduction and instead immerses the reader in an unraveling mystery. In the second example, the software engineer candidate introduces him-/herself not as a “coder” but as a multinational manager. While each applicant’s situation is different, every candidate can work with his/her story to avoid the pitfalls of overrepresentation.

[mbaMissionJessica]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... ent-tense/
Past vs Present Tense

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Past vs. Present Tense
June 1st, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Virtually all MBA admission essays are written in the past tense, which makes sense, as candidates are most often discussing past experiences. While the past tense is quite “user friendly,” another choice is to use the present tense to heighten the immediacy of the experience being presented and draw the reader into the story.

Past tense: “I arrived in my supervisor’s office at 11 am; we tabled the deal no less than 15 minutes later. Then, the two of us sat by the phone, casually chatting about baseball, and waited. When our CEO finally called two hours later, we discovered that we had indeed submitted the winning bid….”

Present tense: “I arrive in my supervisor’s office at 11 am. Fifteen minutes later, we table our deal. Casually chatting about baseball for two hours, we wait by the phone. When it finally rings, it is our CEO, informing us that our offer has been accepted….”

These examples do not represent “right” and “wrong” options, but instead illustrate two different styles a candidate might use, both of which are equally “right;” choosing which is the better fit for a particular essay depends entirely on the skill of the writer. Executing well in the present tense can be quite difficult, and we recommend that candidates undertake the task with caution. Further, this choice also depends significantly on the story’s content and context—the present tense is a good option when the experience recounted involves “high drama,” but it is not necessarily appropriate for every essay.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Exploring Your Experiences https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... periences/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Exploring Your Experiences
June 8th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

At mbaMission, we engage in thorough brainstorming with each candidate, as unique ideas are at the foundation of every essay. We challenge candidates to examine their experiences from many angles, as a “hidden” story can often be the most distinct.

By way of example, a college baseball player may be inclined to tell the story of a home run that he hit in the bottom of the ninth inning in a crucial game, and this may indeed be an excellent showcase for his talents. However, because this experience is so powerful and brings the candidate so much pride, he may overlook the fact that he mentored a younger player athletically and academically, helped recruit a top coach to the team, worked with the school to access funding for facilities or formed a players’ committee to address team needs. While the first story is a clear and obvious “winner,” the remaining stories may reveal unique aspects of this candidate’s personality and experience, none of which are implied in the fact that the candidate played college sports.

So, because stories often lurk beneath the surface, whether the candidate is an athlete, banker, entrepreneur or all of the above, we challenge candidates to consider each dimension of their stories before settling on the one to use to set them apart.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Details Make the Story Come Alive

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... ome-alive/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Details Make the Story Come Alive
June 15th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Many writers tend to confuse adjectives and adverbs (“describing” words) with details. When adjectives and adverbs emphasize an emotion or emotional state, they can add very little to an experience and can even undermine it. However, when that emotion or emotional state is described properly, it can bring a story to life.

Example 1: “With the award in hand, I felt extremely proud of my accomplishment.”

In the case above, the word “extremely” does not help create the reader’s mental picture, but merely states the obvious. After all, there is very little difference between being “extremely proud” and “proud,” as pride is naturally an “extreme” emotion. This just doesn’t tell the reader very much about how the writer actually felt.

Example 2: “Approaching the podium to receive the award, I admittedly felt faint. Even though I was shaking, I managed to give our President a firm handshake as she passed me the award. As I began to speak to a crowd of my colleagues, I finally understood what it meant to be proud of myself.”

In the example above, the details of the story (”felt faint,” “I was shaking”) create an image in the reader’s mind. The reader is not relating to the simple adjectives that reinforce existing impressions, but experiencing details that bring color to the story. In the first example, the story does not change if the word “extremely” is removed, but in the second, real emotion is conveyed.

We encourage our candidates to avoid adjectives that reinforce an existing emotion and to write descriptively to capture a spirit.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Do Not Neglect Personal Stories
https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... stories-2/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Do Not Neglect Personal Stories
June 22nd, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Candidates are often fixated on their professional and community-based stories. Many forget to even consider personal stories as possible differentiators. Because so many candidates have similarities in their professional experiences, personal dimensions should be highlighted where possible (as few examined lives can truly be said to be similar). Stories of commitment to oneself or others can have a strong emotional impact on the Admissions Committee and can help distinguish you amid the mass of applications.

What types of experiences should you discuss? Well, there is no easy answer. In order for these stories to work, they need to be truly distinct. An example of a unique personal story might be that of an individual who helped a cousin, who was adopted at birth, relocate his birth mother; another story might be one of an individual who took a six-month leave of absence to take his disabled grandmother on a tour of her home country. Clearly, not everyone has the exact experiences detailed above, but each of us has interesting anecdotes we can tell about ourselves. These are the kind of stories that can be showcased in your essays with a little bit of thought and creativity.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Personal and Too Personal

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... ersonal-2/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Personal and Too Personal
June 29th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Last week, we wrote about how important it is to thoroughly explore and access your personal stories in your application essays. Of course, there is always the risk of too much of a good thing, however—Admissions Committees can be put off by candidates who go too far and become too personal.

Some stories are particularly challenging for Admissions Committees. For example, we have strongly discouraged candidates from writing about divorce as a moment of failure. If an individual takes responsibility in an essay for a failed marriage, he/she would likely end up revealing intensely personal problems and issues, rather than portraying him-/herself as having learned from a constructive professional or personal challenge.

What you should always keep in mind is that in many ways, the Admissions Committee is meeting you for the first time via your application. So, a simple way to judge whether you are being too personal in your materials is to ask yourself, “Would I be uncomfortable if, immediately upon meeting someone, he/she were to share this sort of information with me?” If your answer is “yes,” you should most likely consider changing your approach.

[erins]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... ing-it-up/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Changing It Up!
July 13th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Because writing can be so challenging, some candidates find it difficult to change their essay structures from essay to essay. For example, a candidate might choose to use a quote to create a sense of urgency at the beginning of an essay:

“Get me the file. It must be complete in ten minutes,” my manager shouted. “I need you in my office now!” My supervisor was in need of support and I…. “This cannot be fixed. This cannot be fixed!” I stared blankly, looking at the broken machinery and knew….

While using an attention-grabbing technique may be acceptable under certain circumstances, the writer might try it once, but definitely not two or three times in one application. By starting an essay the same way twice, the writer is effectively distracting the reader and sending a message that he/she understands a gimmick and does not truly know how to tell his/her own compelling story in his/her own way. We work with our candidates to ensure that ideas are presented freshly and differently, in order to captivate the Admissions Committee with each introduction and, indeed, each essay.

[erins]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... -homework/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Doing Your Homework
July 20th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

Several schools – Stern and Berkeley, for example – explicitly ask about the steps you have taken to learn about their respective MBA programs. Via these questions, these schools are testing you: they want to know that you have a sincere desire to gain a place in their class, and thus they want to know that you have made an effort to get to know them. So, when answering such questions, it is important that you show your profound interest.

Explaining that you have read the school’s Web site is not particularly profound, as this step is available to all and frankly expected by the MBA Admissions Committee. While you could offer a Web search as a starting point only if something very particular or unusual caught your attention, it is best to quickly arrive at your a priori experiences. By discussing the details of your class visits and particularly your interactions with admissions officers, students, professors and/or alumni, you will “prove” to the Admissions Committee that you have truly been striving to learn more and understand your fit with the school. In essence, if you are showing the committee that you have extended yourself to learn, you have surpassed a minimum requirement.

[erins]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... t-is-good/

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Conflict Is Good
July 27th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

When it comes to writing a compelling story, conflict is actually an important element. Of course, we mean conflict in the literary sense, not in the physical or emotional sense (no one wants to hear about you instigating a hotheaded confrontation). In literary terms, conflict is the moment where an oppositional force helps shape the story. So, a story that presents you, the candidate and hero of the story, with a very smooth ride toward victory is usually not as interesting or exciting as a story in which you suffered some bumps and bruises along the way.

As an example, most people would find the story of a rookie challenger beating an experienced marathon runner at the finish line to be a lot more interesting than the story of a rookie who leads by a wide margin from beginning to end and never experiences any competition.

So, while you probably do not have a story like the one above in your arsenal, our point is that whether you are telling the story of refining a supply chain, getting a deal done, marketing a new product or accomplishing any other facet of business, you should identify the hurdles that you have overcome, because a smooth and easy path to success may not allow you to shine as brightly.

[erins]

Another Essay Tip!

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Ambitious, But Realistic
August 10th, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/08/ ... realistic/

When writing about your career, it is important to inspire the reader by showing that your goals are ambitious, but not so ambitious that they are implausible. You should strive to find a middle ground between goals that are easily achievable and those that are naïve or entirely fantastic. So, for example, stating that in the short term, you want to return to your existing position at your firm would be an example of an unambitious and thus unwise approach; stating that in the short term, you want to become CEO of the New York Yankees would be shooting unreasonably high and is therefore unrealistic.

Generally, with respect to short-term goals, you should be able to identify a reasonably precise position that you would expect to take upon graduating from your MBA program. (If you intend to start your own firm, you should have a clear understanding of what the firm will be, the direction you will take and how you will steward it to achieve its short-term goals.) With respect to the long term, we suggest that candidates pick a goal that is derived from an existing career path or a logical transition from it and one that represents an ideal of sorts. Essentially, we recommend that you consider writing about goals that would be within your grasp if everything went according to your plans.

[erins]

Monday Morning Essay Tip: Opening Lines
August 3rd, 2009 | Posted in Monday Morning Essay Tips, Blogroll

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/08/ ... g-lines-2/

As all good journalists will tell you, the key to writing a good newspaper story or opinion piece is to make sure that the very first line grabs the reader's attention. Many authors also employ this tactic in writing books. Few of us have read Herman Melville's Moby Dick, but many of us know that it begins with three famous words: "Call me Ishmael." A powerful first line can also stick with readers long after they have finished reading - we all recognize the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night," but few of us know that it comes from the opening line of a book by an obscure writer (Paul Clifford by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton).

While it is "normal" to begin each essay with a very short introduction, sometimes a punchy opening line can grab the reader's attention in a useful way. Consider the differences between these pairs of openers. Which one captures your attention?

Example 1: A "Why MBA?" essay:

A: "After I graduate with my MBA, I want to work in the wine industry."
B: "Blood runs in the veins of all humans, but wine runs in mine."

Example 2: A "What are you most passionate about in life?" essay:

A: "There is nothing I enjoy more than playing ice hockey."
B: "As soon as the nearby river freezes, I wake at 6am each day and join my teammates for a prework scrimmage."

There is no formula for opening lines. In fact, the possibilities are endless, and each opener depends on the context of the story itself. Nonetheless, our point is that opening lines need to be carefully considered, because they set the tone of your essay and determine whether the reader will want to read more.