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Pls evaluate this argument essay

Expert replies
by AmiParik82 » Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:03 am
The author cites that vast quantities of information can be electronically exchanged at a relatively low cost. The author concludes that, recent technological improvements will solve the communication problems in corporate world. On the first site, this seems to be the obvious reason but on a closer look, the author's argument is not only flawed but also unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author cites that improvements in electronic mail will resolve the existing corporate communication problem. The author has considered only email, as a option to solve the corporate communication problems and she has not considered other modes of communication such as telephone, intercom and so on. It is possible that these other modes of communication are even more cost effective and faster that they are better than sending emails. The author should support her stand by stating that other modes of communication which are availble today are not csot effective and not faster than email is.

Second, the author cites that vast quantities of information about products, services and market transations can be electronically exchanged. The author has not mentioned how secure this electronic exchange of information is. It is perhaps possible that emails are indeed cost effective and fast but also they are very insecure and therefore anyone can evasdope and steal valuable information. The author should bolster her argument by stating that emails are secured than any other mode of information transfer.

Third, the author's states that basic bussiness communication can be done quickly and at relatively low cost but the author has not provided any information on how this exchange of information work. Perhaps sending information is quick and cost effective but the user has to repeat this process of sending and receiving information to complete the rectification of queries and the overall time in solving queries is way more than other modes of communication for example telephone. The author should support her argument that the overall time in exchanging information is not more than that of other modes of communication and thus is effective.

Finally, the author concludes that the technological improvements in email will resolve the existing corporate communication problems but the author has not stated or mentioned other problems which this mode of communication (email) might cause. To illustrate, if implementing these technology in a bussiness requires a huge capital investment, huge infrastructre, and installation of expensive air conditioners then corporate bussiness might not find this alternative as feasible option to implement. The author should bolster her point by providing more infrmation about hidden costs and implications if any.

In sum, the author's argument is not pursuasive and convincing as it stands. Had the argument included the aforementioned points, and had she included information about the aforementioned flaws, she would have not only strengthened and bolstered her argument but also would have made her argument more convincing and pursuasive.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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