Issue essay: Please give your feedback.

[rjanardhanan]

The topic is:

It is unrealistic to expect individual nations to make, independently, the sacrifices necessary to conserve energy. International leadership and worldwide co-operation are essential if we expect to protect the world’s energy resources for future generations.

My essay below:

The author concludes that unless there is international leadership and worldwide Co-operation it would be futile for the individual nations to contribute towards energy conservation efforts.

The idea I would like to convey is that making attempts to conserve energy doesn’t mean sacrificing economic development. Energy conservation is about educating people about the importance of scarce natural resources and cut down unwanted non productive purposes. If this is done then it will reduce import bill of that country and in turn it would be beneficial for country and for its people.

Secondly there is a energy inefficiency in majority of developing and emerging economies. This can be to attributed to three reasons. One major reason lack of proper infrastructure, second major reason is technology barriers which hinder them from opting for high energy efficient technologies and third one is lack of awareness among people.

While there will be increase in the level of energy consumption initially when a country attempts to improve its infrastructure, in the long term it will definitely improve the country’s energy efficiency. For example if a country doesn’t have mass rapid transit system then people will have to travel in their private vehicles. But once a mass rapid transit system of transportation is developed people will definitely switch over to this mode of transportation leading to energy savings.

Similarly the nations should avoid creating technology barriers for developing economies. Also each nation should involve its citizens in energy conservation efforts by educating them so that we can leave away a better world for our future generations.

[4seasoncentre]

Hello,

While I don't disagree with the points you have made, I think you sort of side-stepped the argument. The topic didn't ask whether you think conserving energy is economically viable, it asked if individual countries could do it alone.

I think you implicitly answers the question by arguing that there are economic reasons for conserving electricity, but for the purposes of an essay I would be more explicit.

In your first paragraph you restated the argument. This is a good start, but I would also include what your thesis is, and an introduction into the points you are going to make in the preceding paragraphs.

Perhaps one of the experts in the forums can say more accurately, but I generally try to avoiding using "I" in my essays. Sometimes when I get desperate I'll use the term "we", but I try to stay in third person because I don't know if the GMAT penalizes first-person.