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ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a proposal for a high school's annual fundraising event:

"In order to earn the most money for supplemental school programs, we will have larger and more thrilling rides at this year's School Fair, including a ferris wheel that is twice as tall as last year's ferris wheel. In addition, the game vendors will award more expensive prizes and the food stalls will showcase a variety of upscale international dishes. As a result, we will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and the dollar amount we earn via our commission on the vendors' revenues will be higher than it was last year."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

RESPONSE:
The proposal claims that high school annual fundraising event will be able to earn most money by making this year's school fare more attractive for the vistors.The conclusion is supported by the premise that school will charge higher entrance fees, if the fare is more attractive and have more variety.The author supports his decision by saying that as more visitors will attend the fare , school will be able to earn more commission on vendor's revenues.Although the argument may well have merit but several flaws in its reasoning leave the conclusion without sufficient support.The proposal considers various factors that can increase fare's revenue but it fails to consider whether the vistors will be willing to pay more fare or whether visitors will be attracted to the changes in the fare.The argument is based on several questionable premises and assumptions and is based solely on the evidence that proposal provides.hence the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

The proposal is based on several assumptions that may or may not be true. The pivotal issue with the argument is that it assumes that visitors will be excited and attracted to attend the fare because of more thrilling rides , more expensive prizes and variety of food stalls.These factors may attract some vistors like healthy adults and young children.However, thrilling rides may keep grandparents and small children away from the fare because of medical problems or beacause of fear.To strengthen its argument the proposal should should have other attractive options for people of all age groups.

Secondly, the author makes a gratuitous assumption that vistors will be willing to attend the fare even after the higher entrance fees.Some people might have other attractive options to attend rather than attend the expensive fare at the high school. the high fees might keep large families away from the fare and it could impact the overall number of vistors.To bolster the argument , the proposal should mentin how much will the fees be increased and should compare the price as compared to other attractive options avialable.

In addition , the author also assumes that visitors will be aware of the changes much before attending the fare that can increase the excitement and would help in increasing the number of vistors.The proposal does not mention whether such chnages will be advertised in public by word of mouth or by putting banners or by circulating the pamphlets , informing the new and exciting features of the fare.

In sum, although the proposal mentions various key factors that can help to earn more revenue at this year's school fair , it fails to consider several important factors that may influence its decision of changes that should be made to the fair.To strengthen its argument , the proposal should mention other factors such as attractive rides for all age groups , whether the quality of existing attractive fare rides will not be decreased , whether the games will be attractive apart from their attractive prizes , the quality of the food stalls and vendors that will participate in showcasing international cusines.The argument can also be strengthened if it mentions that all these changes were decided based on a survey of last year's vistors and the school had statistical data over the years .
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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