Analysis of my AWA effort and feedbacks please.

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The 2 topics with my responses are listed below. Thanks in advance for helping me out!!

[1] Too many people think only about getting results. The key to success, however, is to focus on the specific task
at hand and not to worry about results."

What do you think this piece of advice means, and do you think that it is, on the whole, worth following? Support
your views with reasons and/or examples drawn from your own experience, observations, or reading.

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The key to success and a favourable result always depends upon how well one has gone about executing the task at hand, the more sincerely it has been done the better the results. This also would require that we concentrate ourselves on the specific tasks we are carrying at the moment and not to be distracted by the thoughts of the results.


If we are overly concerned about the results and forget to work on the task in hand which are the building blocks then chances are that we might not have results in our favour. Like if a farmer wishes to have a better yield and inorder to do so starts watering the plants more and more and uses fertilizers frequently. This he does keeping an eye on tend results but eventually ends up spoiling the crop.

A student preparing for the exams, if becomes too much concerned about the results then there is a possibility that he might not study as properly as required. With all sorts of fobia the consequence could be a total disaster during the examinitation, when it is required the most to demonstrate the results of your potential which one acuires during the preparations, which was the task at hand.

So, in order to be successful, if the basics are followed, as in doing the work properly and not be bogged down by the results, then we will certainly come out in flying colours.



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[2] The following appeared in a proposal from the development office at Platonic University:
"Because Platonic University has had difficulty in meeting its expenses over the past three years, we need to
find new ways to increase revenues. We should consider following the example of Greene University, which
recently renamed itself after a donor who gave it $100 million. If Platonic University were to advertise to its
alumni and other wealthy people that it will rename either individual buildings or the entire university itself after
the donors who give the most money, the amount of donations would undoubtedly increase."


Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning
and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions
underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You
can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument
would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

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The assumption of the administrators of platonic university that if they follow the route of Greene university they would have similar results is not proper especially in the light of the informations provided. There is a possibility of generating revenues through the means of donation by people the institution would be named after but that has to have other factors in consideration.

The current financial conditions of the platonic university is in bad shape, so its not very encouraging for the donors and additionally, there isn't any detail about the student strength, courses on offer, the results of the university, any comparison about its ranking amongst other universities. This makes it tough to decide whether the proposal of the university itself is valid or not, forget about the possible donors.

The reasons for low funds can be lack of students which again can be due to factors like - low standard of education being imparted by teaching staff, internal management issues or courses on offer not being relevant for current market needs. Even if there is a donor and fund comes in, these problems if not weeded out might again bring the university in a similar situation after a while.

There would be additional cost incurred by the university in advertising and other promotional activities and if the very fundamentals of its functioning is flawed then the university's book can go down further in red as there would be less or no suitors at all.

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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by eliazashin » Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:30 pm
Ashok, I'd estimate your Issue Essay score as a 3. Your Argument Essay is too much like an Issue Essay and would score about a 2. For specific advice, check out my recent Feature Articles on the Essays:

https://www.beatthegmat.com/mba/2010/03/ ... ment-essay

https://www.beatthegmat.com/mba/2010/03/ ... ssue-essay

I hope you find these guidelines useful, Ashok--good luck!
Elia
GMAT Trainer, The Princeton Review

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