Pls grade my essay

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Pls grade my essay

by themaharaja1 » Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:58 pm
“Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes.” In your opinion, which is more important—preserving historic buildings or encouraging modern development? Explain your position, using reasons and examples based on your own experiences, observations, or reading.

Answer




Most countries have unique buildings and constructions which are important as those architectures represent countries past and unique heritage. Those things are pride for that country. Just to give few examples India has the Taj Mahal, France has the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Egypt has Pyramids etc. Whether importance should be given to these constructions or else to modern purposes is a tricky question and answer depends upon various factors. But after deep analysis I think that importance should be given to modern purposes. My overall thought process is as below.

First of all we need to understand importance and uniqueness of the given architecture and then we need to compare that with the intention for which we are planning to affect those architectures. For instance we cannot or rather shouldn't destroy a heritage such as Taj Mahal just to bulid a school. But suppose if we want to construct a extremely crucial dam or a road which cannot be constructed at other places then we should replace the old heritage. In fact, if possible we should try to achieve both things i.e. not destroying heritage and building new structure. Few years back I read an article which was about how Japan constructed rail tracks below an old important building and moved the building aside to build a road. We should use similar innovations to achieve both goals. But in worst case we should go for new construction. Reasons for that are as follows.

We cannot leave in the past. We need to live in the present and prepare ourselves for the future. There is no point is maintaining old constructions if we can use space of those constructions for reasons which could be far more useful. For example a dam on river could be a important construction. Water stored because of dams can be use for several purposes such as irrigation and farming. Dams could solve many problems such as floods and sparse availability of water. In short, constructions like dams are very important and they could replace heritage buildings. Plus these new constructions will indicate progress and critical thinking of our generations. These constructions will become heritage for future.

Therefore I think that importance should be given to new constructions. But before damaging old buildings we need to remember that we cannot recreate our heritage and we need to be absolutely sure about benefits of new constructions.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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Re: Pls grade my essay

by Bidisha800 » Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:19 am
I'll give you 3


themaharaja1 wrote:“Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes.” In your opinion, which is more important—preserving historic buildings or encouraging modern development? Explain your position, using reasons and examples based on your own experiences, observations, or reading.

Answer




Most countries have unique buildings and constructions which are important as those architectures represent countries past and unique heritage. Those things are pride for that country. Just to give few examples India has the Taj Mahal, France has the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Egypt has Pyramids etc. Whether importance should be given to these constructions or else to modern purposes is a tricky question and answer depends upon various factors.

Bidisha: If you really think answer depends on many factors why do you think suddenly you found the "right answer" ?

But after deep analysis


Bidisha: Poor construction

I think that importance should be given to modern purposes. My overall thought process is as below.
Bidisha: Nobody wants to know your thought process. We want to know your opinion.

First of all we need to understand importance and uniqueness of the given architecture and then we need to compare that with the intention for which we are planning to affect those architectures. For instance we cannot or rather shouldn't destroy a heritage such as Taj Mahal just to bulid a school. But suppose if we want to construct a extremely crucial dam or a road which cannot be constructed at other places then we should replace the old heritage.

Bidisha :Destroying a wonder of the world, the Taj, for a Dam (DAMN !) is not a well thought argument. Unless the survival of world depends on that dam, it should be constructed elsewhere.


In fact, if possible we should try to achieve both things i.e. not destroying heritage and building new structure.

Bidisha : Is this what you are trying to establish ? If this is your position then you contradicted yourself in the the third para where you proposed all damn past should be destroyed.


Few years back I read an article which was about how Japan constructed rail tracks below an old important building and moved the building aside to build a road. We should use similar innovations to achieve both goals. But in worst case we should go for new construction. Reasons for that are as follows.

Bidisha: This a very well thought example.


We cannot leave in the past.

Bidisha : In last para you were trying to have best of both worlds.

We need to live in the present and prepare ourselves for the future. There is no point is maintaining old constructions if we can use space of those constructions for reasons which could be far more useful.

Bidisha : How you quantify the "usefulness" over heritage ? When do you think usefulness overpowers the heritage ? These questions are unanswered and could have been sole of this essay.


For example a dam on river could be a important construction. Water stored because of dams can be use for several purposes such as irrigation and farming. Dams could solve many problems such as floods and sparse availability of water.

Bidisha : How about heritage building in a major city ? Why your examples revolve around damn and roads ?

In short, constructions like dams are very important and they could replace heritage buildings.

Bidisha : So you are ready to destroy statue of Liberty to construct a dam or a road ?


Plus these new constructions will indicate progress and critical thinking of our generations.


Bidisha : A sentence can not start with "Plus". You could have used "moreover".

These constructions will become heritage for future.


Bidisha: But if your position is to continuous destruction then no construction will last long enough. These so called modern constructions will be destroyed for more modern purposes.

Therefore I think that importance should be given to new constructions. But before damaging old buildings we need to remember that we cannot recreate our heritage and we need to be absolutely sure about benefits of new constructions.

Bidisha: A confusing end statement which is not substantiated in the essay
Drill baby drill !

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thanks

by themaharaja1 » Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:05 am
hey Bidisha

thanks for reply...

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