Achievements Question - General vs. Specific

Free advice from the world's top MBA consultants
This topic has expert replies
User avatar
Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:57 pm
Hi All,

Just doing some early work on admissions essays and figured this question might apply to more than one person!

I wondered about being general vs. specific on my "achievements" - do I narrow it down to one really good story, or is it worth mentioning multiple events that contributed to a bigger achievement?

In particular, for me...

Specific...

"I am really proud of the first marathon I ever ran because..."

"I am really proud of the relationship I had with staff member X because she was able to go on to do great things because of my leadership..."

.... vs. More General

"I am really proud of my running. My first marathon was.... My first race back after a major injury was... the two-year running streak was...."

"I am really proud of the relationship I've had with my staff. There was this time with staff member X... and then later staff member Y.... and also staff member Z..."

Less detail in the latter, but lets me fit a bit more in. In particular talking about my staff I'd love to touch on a few stories - is this okay, or should I keep it to just ONE story?

Appreciate any help!
Source: — Ask an MBA Admissions Consultant |

User avatar
Legendary Member
Posts: 1255
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 2:08 pm
Location: St. Louis
Thanked: 312 times
Followed by:90 members

by Tani » Thu Apr 28, 2011 1:48 pm
As long as you are making a single key point, e.g. staff relationships, you can use more than one story to illustrate it. What you want to avoid is a laundry list of minimally-substantiated points.
Tani Wolff

Master | Next Rank: 500 Posts
Posts: 204
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2011 10:22 pm
Thanked: 51 times
Followed by:6 members

by MBAApply » Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:12 pm
If you have 20,000 words, you can afford to be more general.

But for a 500 word essay, make it specific. One story that is illustrative of an ability that a reader could infer would apply to other situations.

User avatar
Legendary Member
Posts: 1255
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2008 2:08 pm
Location: St. Louis
Thanked: 312 times
Followed by:90 members

by Tani » Sun May 01, 2011 2:42 pm
All points need to be specific "I increased sales 30%", not "I did a great job in sales". Nevertheless, if you can condense your writing to show several points that is stronger than a single point. E.g., "I increased sales by 30% while improving margins and increasing reported customer satisfaction."
Tani Wolff