Please review my AWA as i need to improve on it. Thanks

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Argument:
In light of the increasing percentage of our nation's population turning to the internet as a source of reference material, August County should close all the public libraries, and convert them into internet browsing centers for use by the county residents. This will satisfy the growing need of the public. Also special computer training centers should be opened in the county to train people in using computers. This way we can ensure that the internet centers do not remain idle. The youths of the county are sure to support this plan; after all, in nearby Aurora County only few residents have objected to that county's plan to close all but one of its public libraries.

Analysis:
The argument is seriously flawed and has some unstated assumptions. The comparison between August County and Aurora County is impractical. Also, the relation of internet to libraries is unacceptable as both have independent values. Similarly, whether the plan will be supported by the youth is not definite. Therefore, the argument is inconclusive and weak as it lies on a series of invalid assumptions.

The author assumes that since the nation is turning towards internet as a source of reference material, all libraries in August County must be shut down and converted to internet centers which are not acceptable as there is no comparison to be made between libraries and internet centers. Also, the growing need of the people will be satisfied by doing this or not is not mentioned. The opening of special training centers is unnecessary as it will not be sure that people will feel to take training or they may avoid it. So, the possibilities of internet centre remaining idle increases. It is also not necessary that the youths would support this plan as the author is not mentioning that the residents who objected in Aurora County are young or old or middle aged. Also, it is not necessary that even if some people accepted the closing of libraries in Aurora County; they may accept it in August county as well.

The author mentions that the nation's population is turning towards internet but that does not mean that majority people of August County will prefer internet over libraries, there are possibilities that people still prefer libraries as a source of reading and better understanding. Also, it is not mentioned that people require internet as a source of reference for them to be satisfied. The author has not clearly mentioned whether it is the growing need of the people. There are possibilities that public need can be fulfilled by introducing more material in libraries or even constructing internet facilities and libraries together so people can use these facilities as per their convenience. Special training centers are not sure to attract people as it may depend on the interest of people whether they want to train themselves or not. The possibility of youth supporting the plan may be more as compared to middle age or old age people, but comparison cannot be made with Aurora County as even after reconstructing there is still one public library on demand.

The inherent flaws and incomplete information make the argument dubious. Also, reconstructing of public libraries to internet centers and giving special training to people are not dependent and do not provide a base for the argument. Therefore, the argument is totally flawed and if advise is followed, some serious thinking is required for converting libraries to internet centers.
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by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Wed Mar 25, 2015 12:35 pm
Hello Architj,


Writing: You have a few long, complex sentences that you could simplify. You use "necessary" frequently, and I don't think that's the right word. When you say "it is not necessary that the youth support the plan," do you mean it's not guaranteed that they will support the plan?

Structure: Your intro clearly stated that the argument is flawed, and you mentioned the major weaknesses of the author's point. Make sure that you also summarize the author's argument before you say why the argument is invalid. The body paragraphs were all right in terms of structure, but I think you could have split them into three rather than two paragraphs. The conclusion stated again that the argument is flawed, but you could have mentioned the author's main point again. For tips on a good conclusion, check out some of our free videos here https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... assessment

Arguments/Examples: I think that you addressed several of the major issues with the argument, but it got a little tough to follow your reasoning. You repeated several times that the youth may not support the plan, and I couldn't tell if you were doing it for emphasis or if you forgot you'd made that point. Make sure to do a quick outline before you start writing.

Suggestions for Improvement: The issues with this response were the intro/conclusion (not summarizing the author's argument right away) and the confusing examples. I'd give this essay close to a four, but I think you can improve a little bit before test day. Make sure your intro/conclusion are strong and plan how you'll share your examples.
Katharine Rudzitis - BA
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