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Please rate my argument essay: Olympic Foods

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Total votes: 1

by antest07 » Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:23 am
I am looking for someone to rate my issue essay:
https://www.beatthegmat.com/issue-essay- ... 34148.html
Please use private message if you do not want to post your opinion to the public. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color
film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in
1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can
expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”


The author states that the experience of a business organization such as Olympic Foods is crucial to the maximization of profits. He assumed that a more experienced company can do things better so as to lower the cost. Because the evidences the author gave is insufficient, the logic of his arguments and the conclusion he reaches are both doubtful.

To begin with, the author considered the only factor in lowering the cost is the experience of the company as an experienced company do things better. In reality, an experienced company can give bad products if it does not control the quality of products over time. There are many factors behind the lowering of costs, including deflation and economic downturn. For instance, deflation reduces the cost of labour and cost of purchasing raw materials.

In addition, the author suggested that minimizing cost is the best way to maximize profit. This strategy is not practical in today’s competitive business world. Many business organizations use more aggressive strategies in maximizing profits, such as maximizing revenue, motivating employees and building a large business networks.

Moreover, the author falsely compared the film processing industry with the food processing industry. The processes of production of the two industries are completely different. Film processing industry involves more machinery operation and technical aspects in monitoring the quality of film, whereas food processing industry involves more human and logistic concern in ensuring the hygiene and taste of food. It is obvious that the technology used in film production cannot be applied to food production, let lone the effect of cost reduction.

For the reasons stated above, the author’s argument simply does not hold up. If one were truly serious about maximizing the profit of Olympic Foods, one would be better devise a more comprehensive strategy rather than rely on the experience of Olympic Foods.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by 4seasoncentre » Sun Apr 19, 2009 8:00 am
I generally like the essay.

My only recommendations are that I would not assume the gender of the author. It is tedious, but I always write "he or she".

One major argument I would have included is that while the cost of technology often goes down, the price of labour can go up. I would have used the example of GM or something as an organization that has a lot of experience but is having profit problems because of the huge cost of labour compared to foreign competitors.

Your writing style and grammar are very high calibre and I thought the argument was well organized and flowed well.
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