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Natarajan Srikrishnan
- Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:53 pm
Hey, I am taking the GMAT on the 21st of April 2015. I was a little nervy about the AWA section since there
was no sort of grading system or analysis available for my work.
Hope some instructor can review my essay and let me know how this essay would probably rate on test day.
Thanks a lot.
Essay topic :
The following appeared as part of an editorial in the Waymarsh city newspaper:
"Last year the parents of first graders in our school district expressed satisfaction with the reading skills their children developed but complained strongly about their children's math skills. To remedy this serious problem and improve our district's elementary education, everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion. (used with permission from mba.com)
My response:
The author proposes a solution to resolve the serious issue of the first grade children's supposedly insufficient math skills as well as to improve the district's elementary education by stating that everyone at the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University be required to take more courses in mathematics. Stated in this way, the argument conveys a distorted view of the situation and also reveals examples of leap of faith and ill-defined thinking. Moreover, the argument omits some key concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the author's solution. Furthermore, the conclusion relies on numerous unwarranted assumptions for which there is no substantial evidence. Thus, the argument is fallacious and unpersuasive.
First, the author readily assumes that the problem of poor math skills of the children can be resolved if everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University takes more courses in mathematics. This statement is a stretch and is not substantiated in any way. The author fails to demonstrate how the assumption holds good in this case. Since the problem only concerns first grade children, it seems logical that only these first graders, and not everyone involved in the teacher-training program, be required to take extra math courses, if at all they do have to. Moreover, the author does not explicitly demonstrate any causative correlation between taking more courses at mathematics and improved math skills of first grade children. It could be possible that the children under the purview of the survey failed to develop their math skills simply because they weren't interested. Thus, taking up more courses will in no way improve their math skills if this is the sole cause for the issue at hand. Without understanding the actual cause for the poor math skills in these children, it is difficult to evaluate the plausible effect of the proposed plan.
Second, the author implies that these children do not possess the required math skills solely based on the reviews of parents of these children. The author fails to demonstrate the validity of this claim by presenting explicit details of the survey. Just because parents complained about their children's math skills, one does not necessarily need to infer that the children actually lack the necessary math skills. The claim could be bolstered if the survey was conducted by the ministry of education that has the authority to make this claim about the skills possessed by the first graders. Since there is no reference mentioned which is considered as the basis for necessary math skills, the validity of the claim is questionable.
In summary, the argument is inherently weak and erroneous. It could be reinforced if the author addressed all the above mentioned concerns and provided all the relevant details to support his claims. In order to evaluate the merits of a plan, it is necessary to have complete knowledge on all contributing factors. Without sufficient information in this situation, the conclusion has no legs to stand on and the argument remains open to debate.
was no sort of grading system or analysis available for my work.
Hope some instructor can review my essay and let me know how this essay would probably rate on test day.
Thanks a lot.
Essay topic :
The following appeared as part of an editorial in the Waymarsh city newspaper:
"Last year the parents of first graders in our school district expressed satisfaction with the reading skills their children developed but complained strongly about their children's math skills. To remedy this serious problem and improve our district's elementary education, everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University should be required to take more courses in mathematics."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion. (used with permission from mba.com)
My response:
The author proposes a solution to resolve the serious issue of the first grade children's supposedly insufficient math skills as well as to improve the district's elementary education by stating that everyone at the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University be required to take more courses in mathematics. Stated in this way, the argument conveys a distorted view of the situation and also reveals examples of leap of faith and ill-defined thinking. Moreover, the argument omits some key concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the author's solution. Furthermore, the conclusion relies on numerous unwarranted assumptions for which there is no substantial evidence. Thus, the argument is fallacious and unpersuasive.
First, the author readily assumes that the problem of poor math skills of the children can be resolved if everyone in the teacher-training program at Waymarsh University takes more courses in mathematics. This statement is a stretch and is not substantiated in any way. The author fails to demonstrate how the assumption holds good in this case. Since the problem only concerns first grade children, it seems logical that only these first graders, and not everyone involved in the teacher-training program, be required to take extra math courses, if at all they do have to. Moreover, the author does not explicitly demonstrate any causative correlation between taking more courses at mathematics and improved math skills of first grade children. It could be possible that the children under the purview of the survey failed to develop their math skills simply because they weren't interested. Thus, taking up more courses will in no way improve their math skills if this is the sole cause for the issue at hand. Without understanding the actual cause for the poor math skills in these children, it is difficult to evaluate the plausible effect of the proposed plan.
Second, the author implies that these children do not possess the required math skills solely based on the reviews of parents of these children. The author fails to demonstrate the validity of this claim by presenting explicit details of the survey. Just because parents complained about their children's math skills, one does not necessarily need to infer that the children actually lack the necessary math skills. The claim could be bolstered if the survey was conducted by the ministry of education that has the authority to make this claim about the skills possessed by the first graders. Since there is no reference mentioned which is considered as the basis for necessary math skills, the validity of the claim is questionable.
In summary, the argument is inherently weak and erroneous. It could be reinforced if the author addressed all the above mentioned concerns and provided all the relevant details to support his claims. In order to evaluate the merits of a plan, it is necessary to have complete knowledge on all contributing factors. Without sufficient information in this situation, the conclusion has no legs to stand on and the argument remains open to debate.
