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Arguement Essay - - Rating Please - Thank you

Expert replies
by LouWhitaker » Sun May 13, 2012 12:24 pm
The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.

In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.



Question


Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underline the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate in conclusion.


Response:

The article proposes that over the past decade a change has occured in the perspective this culture takes towards nutrition. Generally, the average citizen values nutrition as a luxury and not as a matter of healthy lifestyle. To illustrate this stance, the example of restaurants in a given neighborhood is provided as an image of the general population's views on nutrition.

The article demonstrates strong evidence for its claim by describing three restaurants in close proximity to one another. The Heart's Delight is a store that has been around for several decades and has a large inventory of cheeses that are high in fat content. Similarly, across the street there is a new restaurant named House of Beef which, though new, has already made its owners millionaires. While these two businesses are seemingly doing well, the Good Earth Cafe is described to be achieving only modest success. These examples provided give the impression that the author is correct in his assessment of changes in this culture's view of nutrition.

Although there may be data that support the author's statement, the argument has several areas that leave questions unanswered or even refute his point. The Heart's Delight provides "a wide selection of cheeses with high butterfat content", which supports the claim. However the author says that the change in nutrition has occured over the past decade and this store has been in business for many years, which means it is reasonable to assume poor nutrition habits are not a new trend. Likewise, the Good Earth Cafe is described as the "old vegetarian restaurant" implying it has been around for many years. It then states that it is "still making a modest living", which implies it has not had much change in the amount of business it receives.

In order to properly assess the logic of the author's claim there needs to be more information provided. For example, the Heart's Delight is described as an organic fruit and vegetable store that also sells whole-grain foods. Given that the store began by selling typically healthy foods it could be concluded that years ago people were generally nutritious. Since the store now sells a variety of unhealthy foods, this would seem to support the author's claim. However it is not stated if the store still sells the healthy foods or what percent of their sales are attributed to the nutritious versus un-nutritious foods. Additionally botht he Heart's Delight and the Good Earth Cafe are implied to be businesses that have existed for some time. Without more information pertaining to the changes in the amount of business they receive a solid assessment cannot be made.

In general it would seem that the statements made in the article appear to be valid. While they may very well be accurate claims, without more information the accuracy of the article can not be assessed.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by Brent@GMATPrepNow » Mon May 14, 2012 5:33 am
LouWhitaker wrote:The following appeared in a magazine article on trends and lifestyles.

In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.



Question


Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underline the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate in conclusion.


Response:

The article proposes that over the past decade a change has occured in the perspective this culture takes towards nutrition. Generally, the average citizen values nutrition as a luxury and not as a matter of healthy lifestyle. To illustrate this stance, the example of restaurants in a given neighborhood is provided as an image of the general population's views on nutrition.

The article demonstrates strong evidence for its claim by describing three restaurants in close proximity to one another. The Heart's Delight is a store that has been around for several decades and has a large inventory of cheeses that are high in fat content. Similarly, across the street there is a new restaurant named House of Beef which, though new, has already made its owners millionaires. While these two businesses are seemingly doing well, the Good Earth Cafe is described to be achieving only modest success. These examples provided give the impression that the author is correct in his assessment of changes in this culture's view of nutrition.

Although there may be data that support the author's statement, the argument has several areas that leave questions unanswered or even refute his point. The Heart's Delight provides "a wide selection of cheeses with high butterfat content", which supports the claim. However the author says that the change in nutrition has occured over the past decade and this store has been in business for many years, which means it is reasonable to assume poor nutrition habits are not a new trend. Likewise, the Good Earth Cafe is described as the "old vegetarian restaurant" implying it has been around for many years. It then states that it is "still making a modest living", which implies it has not had much change in the amount of business it receives.

In order to properly assess the logic of the author's claim there needs to be more information provided. For example, the Heart's Delight is described as an organic fruit and vegetable store that also sells whole-grain foods. Given that the store began by selling typically healthy foods it could be concluded that years ago people were generally nutritious. Since the store now sells a variety of unhealthy foods, this would seem to support the author's claim. However it is not stated if the store still sells the healthy foods or what percent of their sales are attributed to the nutritious versus un-nutritious foods. Additionally botht he Heart's Delight and the Good Earth Cafe are implied to be businesses that have existed for some time. Without more information pertaining to the changes in the amount of business they receive a solid assessment cannot be made.

In general it would seem that the statements made in the article appear to be valid. While they may very well be accurate claims, without more information the accuracy of the article can not be assessed.
Your writing is great, Lou. However, you spend too much time describing the argument and not enough time critiquing the argument. It isn't until the 3rd paragraph where you suggest that the argument may not be perfect.

It's important to note that all of the GMAT argument prompts will contain several flaws.

Your job is to:
- identify the flaws
- explain why these flaws are, indeed, flaws
- identify information that would help you evaluate the conclusion
- suggest a fix or 2.

In my opinion, every sentence should accomplish at least one of these 4 goals.

So, although the writing is great, I don't think you've spent enough time meeting the primary objective.

I'd give this a 4

Cheers,
Brent
Brent Hanneson - Creator of GMATPrepNow.com
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