AWA - Test in 2 Days (sept 3rd)

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AWA - Test in 2 Days (sept 3rd)

by Makushr1 » Wed Sep 01, 2010 3:22 pm
I've spent all my time up until now working on the verbal and quant sections. A buddy of mind told me that schools don't really care about the AWA section, as long as you get a 4, 5, or 6. Hopefully that's true. He said it's really only testing non native english speakers. Either way, test is Friday. Let me know if there is anything I should have done differently in this AWA. Thanks guys and girls!!

ESSAY QUESTION:

The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:

"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
In the above statement, the writer claims that Americans spend too much time shopping and that our country would benefit as a whole if we Americans spent that time shopping on more productive chores. While the author's claims may have some validity, his/her overall concept is flawed for many reason.

The write states that "In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development." This is true, obviously. However, what the writer fails to include is the amount of time Americans spend on personal and communal development. Since the writer gave a specific number to the amount of time the average American spends on shopping (1/4), the writer also needs to provide other key statistics to support his/her stance. If Americans spend 3/4 of their leisure time on personal development or community service, the author cannot claim we're not productive in our spare time. On the other hand, if the average American spends only 1% of their leisure time on personal development or community service, his/her point is more valid. We need more information that what is provided.

Another aspect the writer is misguided on is that America is losing a competitive edge due to no leisure productivity. These two aspects are not a simple cause and effect. The author fails to take into account other reasons why he/she believes America is losing her competitive edge. Poor education system, decreased natural resources, etc. can all be reasons why America is losing a competitive edge, not simply because we enjoy shopping.

Finally, America is an economy of spending. It's no secret that Americans love to spend. However, if spending were to stop, the economy would go into a major recession. This is proven by stimulus packages offered by the federal government. The federal government knows that during a recession, personal spending is decreased while savings are increased. When spending slows down, businesses make less sales. When businesses make less sales, they may go out of business. This is why the government always promotes spending. Without spending, America's economy will cease to be.

In conclusion, the writer's assessment on the spending of Americans is flawed for many reasons. First, the write does not provide us with enough information to make a direct comparison between the amount of time Americans spend shopping and the amount of time they spend on productive measures. Second, the writer leads the reader to believe that America is loving it's competitive edge due to how we spend out leisure time. And finally, the article as a whole is generally flawed because without a large amount of spending, America would not be where it is today.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by uwhusky » Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:55 pm
Please take my feedback with a grain of salt. In my opinion, I think your approach of citing examples would be better used for 2nd essay than the 1st essay. I think for the first essay, it's less time consuming and easier to write when you simply attack the flaws by identifying them.

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