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elenaelena
- Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:08 pm
Hello,
I would really appreciate if I get some feedback, since im very badly do in essays, especially in analysis of an argument, so I really need to know how to improve my skills. Thanks in advance for taking time rating.
-Elena
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The following appeared in a memo from the customer service division to the manager of Mammon Savings and Loan:
"We believe that improved customer service is the best way for us to differentiate ourselves from competitors and
attract new customers. We can offer our customers better service by reducing waiting time in teller lines from an
average of six minutes to an average of three. By opening for business at 8:30 instead of 9:00, and by remaining
open for an additional hour beyond our current closing time, we will be better able to accommodate the busy
schedules of our customers. These changes will enhance our bank's image as the most customer-friendly bank in
town and give us the edge over our competition."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
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The memo in this text talks about the ways to improve the customer service and beat the competition of the company. However, some assumptions and premisses are questionable and needed some improvement.
Firstly, author thinks that the best way to differentiate itself from competitors is to attract new customers. Author unfortunately does not provide any evidence why it will differentiate the company, so this argument is unsupported and there is an example needed to be provided in this text, for instance, such as research that shows that new customers help to increase the quantity of services offered to the customers, therefore, they help company to differentiate itself from competitors . Indeed, the author didn't support it anyhow and this argument is actually weak.
Secondly, in this memo the other way offered by a manager to improve customer service is to reduce waiting time of the customers and increase the working hours of the bank. Therefore, author concludes that if this approach was used, the bank would be able to accommodate more busy customers and improve the image as a best customer-oriented bank. However, there is a serious flow in the logic of the author. He/she doesn't include many factors that influence customer satisfaction such as prices of the services, special promotions, the high quality service that is provided by the employees, so it's important to consider not only time in this situation, but also other issues that are involved in customer satisfaction. If author provided the example of previous survey that showed that customers are unhappy about the waiting time or the working time of the bank and they would be much happier if it will be changed, than this argument will be straightened.
Author in this memo has really good points in discussing ways to improve the image of the company by improving customer service, however, there are serious flows that should be fixed, not enough evidence and examples provided, that's why these arguments cannot be accepted as valid. Moreover, sometimes in this text author uses incorrect logic by leading one event to the other that is not necessary connected. For example, he/she says that attracting new customers, prolonging work hours and decreasing waiting time for customers will help to improve customer satisfaction and lead to better image of the company. However, these factors not necessary will lead to better customer satisfaction since it is unknown what customers really desire and what will make them happy in this bank.
To conclude, author could significantly improve and straighten premises and arguments in this passage by adding surveys, data and other information that would help to understand all the factors that indicate customer satisfaction, but for now the logic of the author cannot be accepted and is not strong enough to lead to the conclusion he/she has provided.
I would really appreciate if I get some feedback, since im very badly do in essays, especially in analysis of an argument, so I really need to know how to improve my skills. Thanks in advance for taking time rating.
-Elena
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The following appeared in a memo from the customer service division to the manager of Mammon Savings and Loan:
"We believe that improved customer service is the best way for us to differentiate ourselves from competitors and
attract new customers. We can offer our customers better service by reducing waiting time in teller lines from an
average of six minutes to an average of three. By opening for business at 8:30 instead of 9:00, and by remaining
open for an additional hour beyond our current closing time, we will be better able to accommodate the busy
schedules of our customers. These changes will enhance our bank's image as the most customer-friendly bank in
town and give us the edge over our competition."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The memo in this text talks about the ways to improve the customer service and beat the competition of the company. However, some assumptions and premisses are questionable and needed some improvement.
Firstly, author thinks that the best way to differentiate itself from competitors is to attract new customers. Author unfortunately does not provide any evidence why it will differentiate the company, so this argument is unsupported and there is an example needed to be provided in this text, for instance, such as research that shows that new customers help to increase the quantity of services offered to the customers, therefore, they help company to differentiate itself from competitors . Indeed, the author didn't support it anyhow and this argument is actually weak.
Secondly, in this memo the other way offered by a manager to improve customer service is to reduce waiting time of the customers and increase the working hours of the bank. Therefore, author concludes that if this approach was used, the bank would be able to accommodate more busy customers and improve the image as a best customer-oriented bank. However, there is a serious flow in the logic of the author. He/she doesn't include many factors that influence customer satisfaction such as prices of the services, special promotions, the high quality service that is provided by the employees, so it's important to consider not only time in this situation, but also other issues that are involved in customer satisfaction. If author provided the example of previous survey that showed that customers are unhappy about the waiting time or the working time of the bank and they would be much happier if it will be changed, than this argument will be straightened.
Author in this memo has really good points in discussing ways to improve the image of the company by improving customer service, however, there are serious flows that should be fixed, not enough evidence and examples provided, that's why these arguments cannot be accepted as valid. Moreover, sometimes in this text author uses incorrect logic by leading one event to the other that is not necessary connected. For example, he/she says that attracting new customers, prolonging work hours and decreasing waiting time for customers will help to improve customer satisfaction and lead to better image of the company. However, these factors not necessary will lead to better customer satisfaction since it is unknown what customers really desire and what will make them happy in this bank.
To conclude, author could significantly improve and straighten premises and arguments in this passage by adding surveys, data and other information that would help to understand all the factors that indicate customer satisfaction, but for now the logic of the author cannot be accepted and is not strong enough to lead to the conclusion he/she has provided.
