@geva
Thanks alot
I got your point. I will work on that.
Also, please share your comments on Issue essay(i feel it is my weaker part). Please give suggestions on improving that.
In a day or two, i will share another set of essay. Hope i will do well in those essays.
Thanks again.
Please rate my essays
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sameerballani
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tanviet
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PLEASE, HELP TO RATE MY ESSAY. BECAUSE IDEA IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LANGUAGE, I MAKE SIMPLE INTRODUCTION AND CONCLUSION AND TRY TO USE SIMPLE WORD TO CONVEY RICH IDEA IN THE BODY PARAGRAPH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY WRITING AND THINKING, PLEASE, RATE.
The argument conclude that imposing limit on immigration would protect the economy. The argument cites evidence that avarage compensation declines. I see the argument dose not sound because it assumes many important points without which the argument falls apart.
First, the argument assumes that the immigration causes the decline in the average salary. There is no reason for this to be true. It is possible that another cause or other causes create the decline in the average salary. It is possible that government reduce the investment and cause the decline in the salary. The deflation possiblly causes the decrease in salary. The argument would be more strong if it prove that the immigration creates the decline in salary. The improvement can be made by the additional statistic evidence.
Second, If immigraion causes the decline in salary the argument is still invalid. The argument assume that the imposing is effective to reduce the immigration. This is not certain. In fact, you can see that many government policy is not effective and this imposing can be not effective either. In my country, government wish to issue the bond to build the road in my town but government fail to do so. The argument would be more sound if the argument shows that the imposing is effective. This can be done by providing more evidence. .
Third, If the two above assumptionss are correct, the argument is still not valid. The third assumption is that if the average salary dose not decline the local economy is protected. Why this can be true? It is possible that there is no decline in the salary but the economy is still affected. There are many factors which can destroy the economy. The factors can be bad government management, corruption and international environment. The argument would be more valid if it show that the economy is protected if the decline in the salary is stopped. The showing can be done by providing similar cases in the other countries
Finally, The argument is not sound because it ignores many assumptions which I mentions above. The argument would be much better if it show more reasons ore evidence for the questionable assumption, which I listed above.
The argument conclude that imposing limit on immigration would protect the economy. The argument cites evidence that avarage compensation declines. I see the argument dose not sound because it assumes many important points without which the argument falls apart.
First, the argument assumes that the immigration causes the decline in the average salary. There is no reason for this to be true. It is possible that another cause or other causes create the decline in the average salary. It is possible that government reduce the investment and cause the decline in the salary. The deflation possiblly causes the decrease in salary. The argument would be more strong if it prove that the immigration creates the decline in salary. The improvement can be made by the additional statistic evidence.
Second, If immigraion causes the decline in salary the argument is still invalid. The argument assume that the imposing is effective to reduce the immigration. This is not certain. In fact, you can see that many government policy is not effective and this imposing can be not effective either. In my country, government wish to issue the bond to build the road in my town but government fail to do so. The argument would be more sound if the argument shows that the imposing is effective. This can be done by providing more evidence. .
Third, If the two above assumptionss are correct, the argument is still not valid. The third assumption is that if the average salary dose not decline the local economy is protected. Why this can be true? It is possible that there is no decline in the salary but the economy is still affected. There are many factors which can destroy the economy. The factors can be bad government management, corruption and international environment. The argument would be more valid if it show that the economy is protected if the decline in the salary is stopped. The showing can be done by providing similar cases in the other countries
Finally, The argument is not sound because it ignores many assumptions which I mentions above. The argument would be much better if it show more reasons ore evidence for the questionable assumption, which I listed above.
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sameerballani
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My third attempt-
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ESSAY QUESTION:
"The mission of a university is to educate its students. Therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Should the pay and promotions of a professor be primarily based upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses? Some people think that the mission of a university is to educate its students and therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses. However i strongly disagree with this and i support that the pays and promotions of a professor should not be baed upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses. The resoning for the same has been explained further.
Firstly, we need to understand that their are mulitple factors which affects a students performance, so in case the pays and promotions of a professor are based on students performance, it will certainly not demonstrate the true caliber of the professor. I feel that the pays of the professor should be motivating so that he or she takes much initiatives in making the classroom more interactive and productive. We need to understand that a wrong or a discouraging evaluation can cause the lack of interest in the professor causing decrease in the qualtiy of the education.
Secondly, if pays and promotions of a professor is primarily based upon student's evaluation, it is quite possible that the proffesor may indulge activities which might reflect that students are scoring highly on his or her subjects and thus concluding that the professor is doing good on his job. This is supported by an example, in which certain teachers in the some schools of America caught manipulating the answer sheets of the students, just because the better the performance of a student in his/her course, the better are the perks for the teacher. So we can conclude that such an action might lead to some undesired results in the system. Hence i strongly feel that the pays and promotions of professor should not be primaril based upon the students' evaluations of his or her courses.
Some might argue that basing the pays and promotions of a professor primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses would be better for the mission of the university. They understand that a high evaluation would encourage professor both financially and morally ,but they fail to understand the other side that a low evaluation of a proffesor might discourage him from introducing new and interactive methods of teaching, which might help in making classroom more productive. This may also make them callous and indifferent towards their profession.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the pays and promotions of the professors should not be primarily based on the students' evaluations of his or her courses. This would make the professor more serious towards his or her job and they would constantly try to excel in their field, leading to improvement in the quality of education. The mission of a university to educate its students would be better achieved by not imposing such conditions.
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ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a memo to executives at a company that manufactures industrial equipment:
"We are spending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made; we need to limit our warranty to two years in order to improve our profit margins. The current lifetime warranty can lead to costs decades into a product's life cycle. Also, we pay our customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the author claims that a company is speending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made, and this is a cause of decrease in its profit margin. The measure suggested by the author for the same, includes decreasing the warranty from lifetime to two years. Author also mentions that the company pays its customer service employees a premium becasue they possess expert skill across the entirety of its diverse produt line, including the products those are no longer sold. As per author, this may be another reason for decrease in profit. However, I strongly feel that this argument is unconvincing and seriously flawed. The reason for the same have been discussed further.
First, the author suggests to decrease the warranty to two years becasuse he assumes that current lifetime warranty leads to costs decades into a product's life cycle. But the author fails to provide any concrete reason for such an assumption. It is possible that warranty doesn't play any role in the decrease in the profit margin. Also, author fails to understand the importance of the service in today's world. He fails in understanding the consequences that could occur in case the company decreases the warranty to two years from current lifetim. It is possible that such a decrease could lead to decrease in the sales of the company's product because its competitors in the market offers lifetime warranty, which is much preferred by the customer.
Secondly, the author cites that the company pays its customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell. As per author, this is another reason for increase in the cost to company. But the authors fails to understand that even if the products are no longer on sale that doesn't means the products no longer exists in the market. It is possible that the same products are still in stock with some retailer and are still being sold by the retailer. Also, a customer can approach a company with some problem with the company's retired product. In both of these cases it is required that the company's customer service employees possess expert skills even with the products that are no longer sold. An action in the direction of decreasing the premium of customer service employees might lead to decrease in the company's service and its brand value. Ultimately leading to decrease in the sales and hence revenue.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that the argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. However, it can be strenghthened by supporting it with facts which shed some light on the concrete reasons which are causing the decrease in the company's profit. Also the argument should be supported by a thorough cost benefit analysis, which will help in understanding the factors responsible for the decrease in company's profit margin and will help in taking a stance. I feel the argument provided with aforementioned things would be much more convincing.
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ESSAY QUESTION:
"The mission of a university is to educate its students. Therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Should the pay and promotions of a professor be primarily based upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses? Some people think that the mission of a university is to educate its students and therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses. However i strongly disagree with this and i support that the pays and promotions of a professor should not be baed upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses. The resoning for the same has been explained further.
Firstly, we need to understand that their are mulitple factors which affects a students performance, so in case the pays and promotions of a professor are based on students performance, it will certainly not demonstrate the true caliber of the professor. I feel that the pays of the professor should be motivating so that he or she takes much initiatives in making the classroom more interactive and productive. We need to understand that a wrong or a discouraging evaluation can cause the lack of interest in the professor causing decrease in the qualtiy of the education.
Secondly, if pays and promotions of a professor is primarily based upon student's evaluation, it is quite possible that the proffesor may indulge activities which might reflect that students are scoring highly on his or her subjects and thus concluding that the professor is doing good on his job. This is supported by an example, in which certain teachers in the some schools of America caught manipulating the answer sheets of the students, just because the better the performance of a student in his/her course, the better are the perks for the teacher. So we can conclude that such an action might lead to some undesired results in the system. Hence i strongly feel that the pays and promotions of professor should not be primaril based upon the students' evaluations of his or her courses.
Some might argue that basing the pays and promotions of a professor primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses would be better for the mission of the university. They understand that a high evaluation would encourage professor both financially and morally ,but they fail to understand the other side that a low evaluation of a proffesor might discourage him from introducing new and interactive methods of teaching, which might help in making classroom more productive. This may also make them callous and indifferent towards their profession.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the pays and promotions of the professors should not be primarily based on the students' evaluations of his or her courses. This would make the professor more serious towards his or her job and they would constantly try to excel in their field, leading to improvement in the quality of education. The mission of a university to educate its students would be better achieved by not imposing such conditions.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a memo to executives at a company that manufactures industrial equipment:
"We are spending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made; we need to limit our warranty to two years in order to improve our profit margins. The current lifetime warranty can lead to costs decades into a product's life cycle. Also, we pay our customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the author claims that a company is speending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made, and this is a cause of decrease in its profit margin. The measure suggested by the author for the same, includes decreasing the warranty from lifetime to two years. Author also mentions that the company pays its customer service employees a premium becasue they possess expert skill across the entirety of its diverse produt line, including the products those are no longer sold. As per author, this may be another reason for decrease in profit. However, I strongly feel that this argument is unconvincing and seriously flawed. The reason for the same have been discussed further.
First, the author suggests to decrease the warranty to two years becasuse he assumes that current lifetime warranty leads to costs decades into a product's life cycle. But the author fails to provide any concrete reason for such an assumption. It is possible that warranty doesn't play any role in the decrease in the profit margin. Also, author fails to understand the importance of the service in today's world. He fails in understanding the consequences that could occur in case the company decreases the warranty to two years from current lifetim. It is possible that such a decrease could lead to decrease in the sales of the company's product because its competitors in the market offers lifetime warranty, which is much preferred by the customer.
Secondly, the author cites that the company pays its customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell. As per author, this is another reason for increase in the cost to company. But the authors fails to understand that even if the products are no longer on sale that doesn't means the products no longer exists in the market. It is possible that the same products are still in stock with some retailer and are still being sold by the retailer. Also, a customer can approach a company with some problem with the company's retired product. In both of these cases it is required that the company's customer service employees possess expert skills even with the products that are no longer sold. An action in the direction of decreasing the premium of customer service employees might lead to decrease in the company's service and its brand value. Ultimately leading to decrease in the sales and hence revenue.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that the argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. However, it can be strenghthened by supporting it with facts which shed some light on the concrete reasons which are causing the decrease in the company's profit. Also the argument should be supported by a thorough cost benefit analysis, which will help in understanding the factors responsible for the decrease in company's profit margin and will help in taking a stance. I feel the argument provided with aforementioned things would be much more convincing.
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Geva@EconomistGMAT
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It's actually not that bad. The third counter point is kinda weak - the point of any motivational pay it to encourage the right behavior by both positive and negative reinforcement. If the professor is paid based on his research, and his research sucks so he gets his pay deducted, that can also demotivate him as well. But the first two points are actually sound arguments, and the example, while not particularly well written, serves its purpose.sameerballani wrote:My third attempt-
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ESSAY QUESTION:
"The mission of a university is to educate its students. Therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Should the pay and promotions of a professor be primarily based upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses? Some people think that the mission of a university is to educate its students and therefore, a professor's pay and promotions should be based primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses. However i strongly disagree with this and i support that the pays and promotions of a professor should not be baed upon the student's evaluation of his or her courses. The resoning for the same has been explained further.
Firstly, we need to understand that their are mulitple factors which affects a students performance, so in case the pays and promotions of a professor are based on students performance, it will certainly not demonstrate the true caliber of the professor. I feel that the pays of the professor should be motivating so that he or she takes much initiatives in making the classroom more interactive and productive. We need to understand that a wrong or a discouraging evaluation can cause the lack of interest in the professor causing decrease in the qualtiy of the education.
Secondly, if pays and promotions of a professor is primarily based upon student's evaluation, it is quite possible that the proffesor may indulge activities which might reflect that students are scoring highly on his or her subjects and thus concluding that the professor is doing good on his job. This is supported by an example, in which certain teachers in the some schools of America caught manipulating the answer sheets of the students, just because the better the performance of a student in his/her course, the better are the perks for the teacher. So we can conclude that such an action might lead to some undesired results in the system. Hence i strongly feel that the pays and promotions of professor should not be primaril based upon the students' evaluations of his or her courses.
Some might argue that basing the pays and promotions of a professor primarily on students' evaluations of his or her courses would be better for the mission of the university. They understand that a high evaluation would encourage professor both financially and morally ,but they fail to understand the other side that a low evaluation of a proffesor might discourage him from introducing new and interactive methods of teaching, which might help in making classroom more productive. This may also make them callous and indifferent towards their profession.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the pays and promotions of the professors should not be primarily based on the students' evaluations of his or her courses. This would make the professor more serious towards his or her job and they would constantly try to excel in their field, leading to improvement in the quality of education. The mission of a university to educate its students would be better achieved by not imposing such conditions.
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My comments are more on the stylistic side of things
1) Don't copy directly from the prompt. It shows lack of imagination and 'laziness', perhaps even fear of writing. Paraphrase the prompt, however slightly. Use synonyms. Play with the sentence structure.
2) Reserve 2-3 minutes at the end to reread what you've just written and and correct grammar, spelling mistakes. You have "pays and promotions" instead of "pay and promotions" copy-pasted all over the essay - it might not be enough to deduct a point (the graders are supposed to take into account WHAT you write, less HOW you write), but it is definitely annoying, and could make a difference between a 4 and a 4.5, which is what I think this essay merits. [/quote]
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sameerballani
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Thanks alot Geva !!
Also,if you could please comment on the argument essay.
And while writing an essay i get the feeling that i am not able to express myself. That means i am unable to connect the dots. I get more of this feelin on issue essay.
Like for example in this issue essay, i was kind of confused that on what basis it actually wants to base the professor's pay. Is it the evaluation of students ON his course(how students actually score on his courese) or the evaluation of students OF his course(how student rate his course). Was confused on this. Please guide.
Thanks again
Also,if you could please comment on the argument essay.
And while writing an essay i get the feeling that i am not able to express myself. That means i am unable to connect the dots. I get more of this feelin on issue essay.
Like for example in this issue essay, i was kind of confused that on what basis it actually wants to base the professor's pay. Is it the evaluation of students ON his course(how students actually score on his courese) or the evaluation of students OF his course(how student rate his course). Was confused on this. Please guide.
Thanks again
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Geva@EconomistGMAT
- GMAT Instructor
- Posts: 905
- Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:38 am
- Thanked: 378 times
- Followed by:123 members
- GMAT Score:760
sameerballani wrote:Thanks alot Geva !!
Also,if you could please comment on the argument essay.
Would love to sit around and read essays all day (actually, not really - grading AWAs is one of the most hateful tasks a GMAT tutor has), but I actually have to get some other work done.
And while writing an essay i get the feeling that i am not able to express myself. That means i am unable to connect the dots. I get more of this feelin on issue essay.
Like for example in this issue essay, i was kind of confused that on what basis it actually wants to base the professor's pay. Is it the evaluation of students ON his course(how students actually score on his courese) or the evaluation of students OF his course(how student rate his course). Was confused on this. Please guide.
all I can really say here is spend some time (3-5 minutes) before you type in a single word, doing just that -
1) Make sure that you understand the issue
2) carefully articulate the opposing point of view
3) Come up with reasons and examples to support both views of the issue
4) Choose which side you go for (the one that you have more to say about, the one where your ideas are stronger - not necessarily the one you personally favor!)
5) Plan your essay - which point and example will come first, second, third.
Thanks again
you're most welcome.
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sameerballani
- Legendary Member
- Posts: 544
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- Thanked: 45 times
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Please rate the following essays.
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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared as part of a campaign statement for Velazquez, who is seeking election as alderman in the town of Barchester:
"Under Police Commissioner Draco, the city of Spartanburg began jailing people for committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. Criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated, because the following year Spartanburg saw a 20% drop in violent crimes such as homicide. Our town should learn from Commissioner Draco's success, and begin a large-scale crackdown on petty crime."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the author cites the campaign statement for Velazquez, who is seeking election as alderman in the town of Barchester. In his campaign statement, Velazquez cites an example that under Police Commissioner Draco, the city of Spartanburg began jailing people for committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. Then he assumes that criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated, because the following year Spartanburg saw a 20% drop in violent crimes such as homicide. Considering this he concludes that Barchester should learn from Commissioner Draco's success, and begin a large-scale crackdown on petty crime. However, I strongly feel that his argument seriously flawed and very unconvincing. The reasons for the same have been discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
First, Velazquez assumes that the drop of 20% in the violent crimes was due to the strictness introduced on committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. He assumes the relation: "A occurs after B, thus A caused B", which is completely flawed. It is possible that the decrease in the violent crimes such as homicide was due to some other reasons such as increased harmony among the society members, etc. So in order to strengthen this, he needs to understand the real reasons that cause the drop in violent crimes.
Second, he assumes that due to the strict restrictions on petty crimes, the criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated and thus leading to drop in the violent crimes. This is completely unconvincing as he fails to consider the restrictions, penalty, and other measures that were introduced on committing violent crimes. It is possible that the drop in the violent crimes is due to certain other measures introduced by Police Commissioner Draco. Velazquez should look for such reasons, if any. Also, he should support his stance with some concrete reason, where he can show that the drop in violent crimes was due to jailing people for committing petty crimes. Unless provided with such a concrete reason this argument stands weak.
Finally, I would conclude that this argument, as it is, is completely flawed and unconvincing. However, it can be strengthen by supporting it with the measures taken by Police Commissioner Draco to control the violent crimes. Also, it needs to use some concrete reasoning to prove that it was the jailing people for committing petty crimes that caused the drop in violent crimes. Unless supported by aforementioned things the conclusion that introduction of large-scale crackdown on petty crime will lead to drop in violent crimes stands null and void. Hence, I will concur the argument is very weak.
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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Since no business can be all things at once, companies that specialize in one product or service are more efficient than those that offer a diverse product mix."
From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Whether companies that specializes in one product or service are more efficient than those that offer diverse product mix? Some people might argue that a company concentrating on one product or service is more efficient while some might argue that a company concentrating on diverse product mix are more efficient. This issue is really a controversial but on a closer look of facts and studies, one can conclude that the companies that offer a diverse product mix is more efficient.
The chief reason for such a stance is that the company offering diverse product mix has more sources of income than compared to a company that specialize in one product or service. Because money is power, the company with more source of income can put more money into its research and development for some particular product, thus leading to a better sales of that product without compromising the diversity of its products. The risk taking capability is more for the company with diverse product mix. This can be shown using an example of a company such as Google. It offers various services to customers , thus diversifying its sources of income and hence increasing its risk taking capability. Thus, the revenue generated is optimally utilized in the enhancement of its products and services with more concentration on its major product that is its search engine.
The other reason to support such a stance is that I feel actually concentrating on one product or service would certainly inhibit you growth in today's world. The primary reason is that one limits the avenues of incomes. This can be shown using the example of the company I-Flex Solutions, which only concentrated on the financial software products and services. This helped in getting a good name in the financial industry, but in the end it was acquired by the Global Software Firm Oracle, which has diverse product mix. In this competitive scenario in which "Big Fish eats Small Fish", it is certainly a good option to diversify your products, while at the same time concentrating on any specific product or service.
Some people might argue that concentrating on one product or service helps you in being best in that service or product. But on the contrary, I would argue that it makes you most vulnerable during a financial recession or depression. I would supplement this using an example of telephone service company that offered very good messaging rates as well as good service, but during the recent recession, it suffered from decline in funds and thus had to lay off employees irrespective of their good performance in the past.
Finally, to conclude, I certainly feel that the benefits of having diverse product mix certainly outweighs the benefits that a company gets on specializing in one product or service. The reasons for the same has been discussed above. Also, in this competitive scenario and such a cut-throat competition the point "Since no business can be all things at once" doesn't stand valid. The more diverse product a company has, the more the number of sources of income and hence the more the risk-taking capability of the company.
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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared as part of a campaign statement for Velazquez, who is seeking election as alderman in the town of Barchester:
"Under Police Commissioner Draco, the city of Spartanburg began jailing people for committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. Criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated, because the following year Spartanburg saw a 20% drop in violent crimes such as homicide. Our town should learn from Commissioner Draco's success, and begin a large-scale crackdown on petty crime."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the author cites the campaign statement for Velazquez, who is seeking election as alderman in the town of Barchester. In his campaign statement, Velazquez cites an example that under Police Commissioner Draco, the city of Spartanburg began jailing people for committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. Then he assumes that criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated, because the following year Spartanburg saw a 20% drop in violent crimes such as homicide. Considering this he concludes that Barchester should learn from Commissioner Draco's success, and begin a large-scale crackdown on petty crime. However, I strongly feel that his argument seriously flawed and very unconvincing. The reasons for the same have been discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
First, Velazquez assumes that the drop of 20% in the violent crimes was due to the strictness introduced on committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. He assumes the relation: "A occurs after B, thus A caused B", which is completely flawed. It is possible that the decrease in the violent crimes such as homicide was due to some other reasons such as increased harmony among the society members, etc. So in order to strengthen this, he needs to understand the real reasons that cause the drop in violent crimes.
Second, he assumes that due to the strict restrictions on petty crimes, the criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated and thus leading to drop in the violent crimes. This is completely unconvincing as he fails to consider the restrictions, penalty, and other measures that were introduced on committing violent crimes. It is possible that the drop in the violent crimes is due to certain other measures introduced by Police Commissioner Draco. Velazquez should look for such reasons, if any. Also, he should support his stance with some concrete reason, where he can show that the drop in violent crimes was due to jailing people for committing petty crimes. Unless provided with such a concrete reason this argument stands weak.
Finally, I would conclude that this argument, as it is, is completely flawed and unconvincing. However, it can be strengthen by supporting it with the measures taken by Police Commissioner Draco to control the violent crimes. Also, it needs to use some concrete reasoning to prove that it was the jailing people for committing petty crimes that caused the drop in violent crimes. Unless supported by aforementioned things the conclusion that introduction of large-scale crackdown on petty crime will lead to drop in violent crimes stands null and void. Hence, I will concur the argument is very weak.
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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Since no business can be all things at once, companies that specialize in one product or service are more efficient than those that offer a diverse product mix."
From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Whether companies that specializes in one product or service are more efficient than those that offer diverse product mix? Some people might argue that a company concentrating on one product or service is more efficient while some might argue that a company concentrating on diverse product mix are more efficient. This issue is really a controversial but on a closer look of facts and studies, one can conclude that the companies that offer a diverse product mix is more efficient.
The chief reason for such a stance is that the company offering diverse product mix has more sources of income than compared to a company that specialize in one product or service. Because money is power, the company with more source of income can put more money into its research and development for some particular product, thus leading to a better sales of that product without compromising the diversity of its products. The risk taking capability is more for the company with diverse product mix. This can be shown using an example of a company such as Google. It offers various services to customers , thus diversifying its sources of income and hence increasing its risk taking capability. Thus, the revenue generated is optimally utilized in the enhancement of its products and services with more concentration on its major product that is its search engine.
The other reason to support such a stance is that I feel actually concentrating on one product or service would certainly inhibit you growth in today's world. The primary reason is that one limits the avenues of incomes. This can be shown using the example of the company I-Flex Solutions, which only concentrated on the financial software products and services. This helped in getting a good name in the financial industry, but in the end it was acquired by the Global Software Firm Oracle, which has diverse product mix. In this competitive scenario in which "Big Fish eats Small Fish", it is certainly a good option to diversify your products, while at the same time concentrating on any specific product or service.
Some people might argue that concentrating on one product or service helps you in being best in that service or product. But on the contrary, I would argue that it makes you most vulnerable during a financial recession or depression. I would supplement this using an example of telephone service company that offered very good messaging rates as well as good service, but during the recent recession, it suffered from decline in funds and thus had to lay off employees irrespective of their good performance in the past.
Finally, to conclude, I certainly feel that the benefits of having diverse product mix certainly outweighs the benefits that a company gets on specializing in one product or service. The reasons for the same has been discussed above. Also, in this competitive scenario and such a cut-throat competition the point "Since no business can be all things at once" doesn't stand valid. The more diverse product a company has, the more the number of sources of income and hence the more the risk-taking capability of the company.
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sameerballani
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refer Above post
Last edited by sameerballani on Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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sameerballani
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sameerballani
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The following appeared in an article in the health section of a newspaper.
"There is a common misconception that university hospitals are better than
community or private hospitals. This notion is unfounded, however: the university
hospitals in our region employ 15 percent fewer doctors, have a 20 percent lower
success rate in treating patients, make far less overall profit, and pay their medical
staff considerably less than do private hospitals. Furthermore, many doctors at
university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting
research, and treating patients. From this it seems clear that the quality of care at
university hospitals is lower than that at other kinds of hospitals."
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
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In this argument, the author concludes that university hospitals are not better than community or private hospitals. To support his view, he cites that when compared to community or private hospitals, university hospital has 15 percent fewer doctors, have a 20 percent lower success rate in treating the patients, make less overall profit, and pay their medical staff considerably less. The author also cites that many doctors at university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting research, and treating patients. On the basis of this observation, the author concludes that the quality of care at university hospital is lower than that at other kinds o hospital. I strongly believe that this argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. The reasoning for the same has been discussed further.
The claim made by author are not valid and they cannot be used to comment upon university hospitals and their service. The author cites the reason that university hospital has 15 percent fewer doctors, but author fails to assume/understand a scenario in which the university hospital is smaller than any private hospital and hence do not require the comparable to number of doctors. So in order to strengthen this, the author needs to find out whether the university hospital is short of doctors and hence is not able to attend to all the visiting patients.
The author also claims that the overall profit of university hospital less and it pay their medical staff less than do private hospitals. However, the author needs to consider two factors namely Number of visiting patients and average fees charged to patient. It is possible that university hospital is running a charitable hospital in order to help the people of low income group, and thus the fees in the hospital is less than the private hospital. Thus decreasing the overall revenue for the hospital. This would also help in drawing more number of patients and hence simultaneously fulfil the motive of university hospital to demonstrate more number of real scenarios to the students studying in that university. Hence, I strongly feel that comparing revenue of two types of hospital is not the correct parameter to comment on whether or not the university hospital are better than other hospitals.
The author also cites that the doctors at university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting research, and treating patients. On the basis of this observation, the author concludes that the quality of care at university hospital is lower than that at other kinds of hospital. On the contrary, the author ignores a scenario in which the doctors would be more efficient because of their personal interest such as research, teaching, etc. This would require doctor to go in depth of the problem and hence providing a patient with better consultation and simultaneously adding more to his research and teaching.
Finally, I would conclude that this argument is seriously flawed for the reasons discussed above. It can be strengthened by supporting it with concrete facts and reasoning that demonstrates that university hospitals are lacking to private or other types of hospital. As it is, I the argument cannot be substantiated and remains open to debate. I would concur that the argument is weak and unconvincing.
"There is a common misconception that university hospitals are better than
community or private hospitals. This notion is unfounded, however: the university
hospitals in our region employ 15 percent fewer doctors, have a 20 percent lower
success rate in treating patients, make far less overall profit, and pay their medical
staff considerably less than do private hospitals. Furthermore, many doctors at
university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting
research, and treating patients. From this it seems clear that the quality of care at
university hospitals is lower than that at other kinds of hospitals."
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
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In this argument, the author concludes that university hospitals are not better than community or private hospitals. To support his view, he cites that when compared to community or private hospitals, university hospital has 15 percent fewer doctors, have a 20 percent lower success rate in treating the patients, make less overall profit, and pay their medical staff considerably less. The author also cites that many doctors at university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting research, and treating patients. On the basis of this observation, the author concludes that the quality of care at university hospital is lower than that at other kinds o hospital. I strongly believe that this argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. The reasoning for the same has been discussed further.
The claim made by author are not valid and they cannot be used to comment upon university hospitals and their service. The author cites the reason that university hospital has 15 percent fewer doctors, but author fails to assume/understand a scenario in which the university hospital is smaller than any private hospital and hence do not require the comparable to number of doctors. So in order to strengthen this, the author needs to find out whether the university hospital is short of doctors and hence is not able to attend to all the visiting patients.
The author also claims that the overall profit of university hospital less and it pay their medical staff less than do private hospitals. However, the author needs to consider two factors namely Number of visiting patients and average fees charged to patient. It is possible that university hospital is running a charitable hospital in order to help the people of low income group, and thus the fees in the hospital is less than the private hospital. Thus decreasing the overall revenue for the hospital. This would also help in drawing more number of patients and hence simultaneously fulfil the motive of university hospital to demonstrate more number of real scenarios to the students studying in that university. Hence, I strongly feel that comparing revenue of two types of hospital is not the correct parameter to comment on whether or not the university hospital are better than other hospitals.
The author also cites that the doctors at university hospitals typically divide their time among teaching, conducting research, and treating patients. On the basis of this observation, the author concludes that the quality of care at university hospital is lower than that at other kinds of hospital. On the contrary, the author ignores a scenario in which the doctors would be more efficient because of their personal interest such as research, teaching, etc. This would require doctor to go in depth of the problem and hence providing a patient with better consultation and simultaneously adding more to his research and teaching.
Finally, I would conclude that this argument is seriously flawed for the reasons discussed above. It can be strengthened by supporting it with concrete facts and reasoning that demonstrates that university hospitals are lacking to private or other types of hospital. As it is, I the argument cannot be substantiated and remains open to debate. I would concur that the argument is weak and unconvincing.
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sameerballani
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41. "The best way to preserve the natural environment is to impose penalties-
whether fines, imprisonment, or other punishments-on those who are most
responsible for polluting or otherwise damaging it."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed
above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own
experience, observations, or reading.
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To preserve the natural environment, should penalties be imposed? Some people will argue that imposing penalties such as fines, imprisonment, or other punishments on those who are most responsible for polluting or damaging the environment is the right way to preserve the natural environment, whereas other might argue its not the correct way to preserve the natural environment. This issue is highly controversial, but on closer study of the facts and various studies one can conclude that imposing penalties on those polluting or damaging the environment is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. I strongly agree with this view and the reasoning for the same has been discussed further.
The chief reason I agree with this is because on imposing fines and penalties on any act is an effective method to stop or lessen that occurrence of that act. Anyone aware of such penalties would be careful before committing such act just in order to avoid the penalty and fines. For example, In Singapore there are heavy fines on various activities that could pollute or damage the natural environment. The city of Singapore has not only imposed these fines but also executes them stringently. As a result, the city has been able to preserve its natural environment and is considered one of the most beautiful places of the world.
The other reason I support this view is based on a study conducted shows that the countries where the penalties on acts which damage or pollute the environment are high are able to preserve their natural environment. The countries such as US, Singapore, UK were among the top contenders and countries such as Congo, etc were at the end of the list. This also supports that the countries which did not had any restriction or penalties on acts that are damaging to the environment were unable to preserve their natural environment .
Some people might argue that imposing such penalties would make public to commit the damaging acts secretly. But on the contrary, they fail to understand that not imposing any such penalty would allow the people to commit such acts openly. Hence we can say that imposing penalties would certainly help in decreasing, if not stopping, the occurrence of polluting and damaging activities, which are harmful for the environment. Also other stringent actions could be taken in order to stop people from committing acts, which are damaging to natural environment.
Finally, I would conclude that of imposing penalties on the acts, which damage or pollute the environment, is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. Its benefits certainly outweighs the benefits of not imposing any penalties.
whether fines, imprisonment, or other punishments-on those who are most
responsible for polluting or otherwise damaging it."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed
above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own
experience, observations, or reading.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To preserve the natural environment, should penalties be imposed? Some people will argue that imposing penalties such as fines, imprisonment, or other punishments on those who are most responsible for polluting or damaging the environment is the right way to preserve the natural environment, whereas other might argue its not the correct way to preserve the natural environment. This issue is highly controversial, but on closer study of the facts and various studies one can conclude that imposing penalties on those polluting or damaging the environment is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. I strongly agree with this view and the reasoning for the same has been discussed further.
The chief reason I agree with this is because on imposing fines and penalties on any act is an effective method to stop or lessen that occurrence of that act. Anyone aware of such penalties would be careful before committing such act just in order to avoid the penalty and fines. For example, In Singapore there are heavy fines on various activities that could pollute or damage the natural environment. The city of Singapore has not only imposed these fines but also executes them stringently. As a result, the city has been able to preserve its natural environment and is considered one of the most beautiful places of the world.
The other reason I support this view is based on a study conducted shows that the countries where the penalties on acts which damage or pollute the environment are high are able to preserve their natural environment. The countries such as US, Singapore, UK were among the top contenders and countries such as Congo, etc were at the end of the list. This also supports that the countries which did not had any restriction or penalties on acts that are damaging to the environment were unable to preserve their natural environment .
Some people might argue that imposing such penalties would make public to commit the damaging acts secretly. But on the contrary, they fail to understand that not imposing any such penalty would allow the people to commit such acts openly. Hence we can say that imposing penalties would certainly help in decreasing, if not stopping, the occurrence of polluting and damaging activities, which are harmful for the environment. Also other stringent actions could be taken in order to stop people from committing acts, which are damaging to natural environment.
Finally, I would conclude that of imposing penalties on the acts, which damage or pollute the environment, is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. Its benefits certainly outweighs the benefits of not imposing any penalties.
GMAT/MBA Expert
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Brent@GMATPrepNow
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Hi sameerballani,sameerballani wrote:41. "The best way to preserve the natural environment is to impose penalties-
whether fines, imprisonment, or other punishments-on those who are most
responsible for polluting or otherwise damaging it."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed
above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own
experience, observations, or reading.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To preserve the natural environment, should penalties be imposed? Some people will argue that imposing penalties such as fines, imprisonment, or other punishments on those who are most responsible for polluting or damaging the environment is the right way to preserve the natural environment, whereas other might argue its not the correct way to preserve the natural environment. This issue is highly controversial, but on closer study of the facts and various studies one can conclude that imposing penalties on those polluting or damaging the environment is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. I strongly agree with this view and the reasoning for the same has been discussed further.
The chief reason I agree with this is because on imposing fines and penalties on any act is an effective method to stop or lessen that occurrence of that act. Anyone aware of such penalties would be careful before committing such act just in order to avoid the penalty and fines. For example, In Singapore there are heavy fines on various activities that could pollute or damage the natural environment. The city of Singapore has not only imposed these fines but also executes them stringently. As a result, the city has been able to preserve its natural environment and is considered one of the most beautiful places of the world.
The other reason I support this view is based on a study conducted shows that the countries where the penalties on acts which damage or pollute the environment are high are able to preserve their natural environment. The countries such as US, Singapore, UK were among the top contenders and countries such as Congo, etc were at the end of the list. This also supports that the countries which did not had any restriction or penalties on acts that are damaging to the environment were unable to preserve their natural environment .
Some people might argue that imposing such penalties would make public to commit the damaging acts secretly. But on the contrary, they fail to understand that not imposing any such penalty would allow the people to commit such acts openly. Hence we can say that imposing penalties would certainly help in decreasing, if not stopping, the occurrence of polluting and damaging activities, which are harmful for the environment. Also other stringent actions could be taken in order to stop people from committing acts, which are damaging to natural environment.
Finally, I would conclude that of imposing penalties on the acts, which damage or pollute the environment, is an effective way to preserve the natural environment. Its benefits certainly outweighs the benefits of not imposing any penalties.
This is my response to your message.
Since you have several (8?) essays in this one thread, I thought I'd comment on your most recent essay.
I think your ideas and your structure is fantastic. The area where I believe you are losing points is in the writing. Don't get me wrong; your writing has some strong elements, but there are also several instances of subject-verb disagreement, pronoun mismatch, etc. I highlighted some errors in the last two sentences just to give you an idea.
Once the grammar is cleaned up, your scores will be 5+. Working on more Sentence Correction activities will help.
I'd give this essay a 4 to 4.5
Cheers,
Brent
Brent Hanneson - Creator of GMATPrepNow.com
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sameerballani
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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
"Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company's profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the beverage manufacturer claims that the price reduction on all the drinks offered by the firm will help in improving company's profitability and enhance company's perception in the eyes of this customer. To support this claim, he cites that the promotional price reductions on energy drinks caused dramatic increase in unit sales, thus he claims the promotion was highly successful. To further support the argument, he adds a result of a survey, which concludes that the promotion was favourably received by the majority of its customers. I strongly feel that this argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. The reasons for the same have been discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
First, the manufacturer cites that the reduction in price of energy drink was followed by increase in the unit sales. But this by itself is not sufficient to conclude that it was reduction in price of energy drink that caused the increase in the sales. The author relies on a false assumption: "A is followed B, thus B caused by A". He fails to understand that there could be other scenario which caused the increase in the sale of the energy drink. For example, the price of the competitor's energy drink increased substantially, thus making it unaffordable and hence people switched to company's energy drink. Another such example can be the decrease in the supply of the competitor's energy drink and hence its less availability in the market. This could also lead to growth in the sales of the company's energy drink. But these circumstance are anyhow not related to the reduction in price. So if the argument provided with concrete reasoning that demonstrated that it was only the reduction in prices that caused the increase in the sales, then the argument would be much stronger.
Second, to support the argument, the manufacturer adds a result of a survey which concludes that the promotion was favourably received by the majority of its customers. However he fails to check whether the consumer surveyed were true representative of the energy drink's actual customer base. I mean did the survey actually had every type/kind of customer the energy drink has. It is possible that the survey was conducted using inputs from certain people who already were supporter of the energy drink irrespective of drink's price. In such circumstances, the survey would lead to biased result and hence any conclusion made on the basis of such a survey would stand null and void. So if the argument provided with the fact that the sample of people chosen for the survey were true representative of the company's actual consumer base, then the argument would be much stronger.
Finally, I would conclude that the argument very weak and seriously flawed. However, it can be strengthened by supporting it with concrete result that shows that it was only decrease in the price of the energy drink that caused the increase in its sales. As is, the argument is unsubstantiated and remain s open to debate. On the whole, I would concur that the argument is unconvincing.
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
"Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company's profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
In this argument, the beverage manufacturer claims that the price reduction on all the drinks offered by the firm will help in improving company's profitability and enhance company's perception in the eyes of this customer. To support this claim, he cites that the promotional price reductions on energy drinks caused dramatic increase in unit sales, thus he claims the promotion was highly successful. To further support the argument, he adds a result of a survey, which concludes that the promotion was favourably received by the majority of its customers. I strongly feel that this argument is seriously flawed and unconvincing. The reasons for the same have been discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
First, the manufacturer cites that the reduction in price of energy drink was followed by increase in the unit sales. But this by itself is not sufficient to conclude that it was reduction in price of energy drink that caused the increase in the sales. The author relies on a false assumption: "A is followed B, thus B caused by A". He fails to understand that there could be other scenario which caused the increase in the sale of the energy drink. For example, the price of the competitor's energy drink increased substantially, thus making it unaffordable and hence people switched to company's energy drink. Another such example can be the decrease in the supply of the competitor's energy drink and hence its less availability in the market. This could also lead to growth in the sales of the company's energy drink. But these circumstance are anyhow not related to the reduction in price. So if the argument provided with concrete reasoning that demonstrated that it was only the reduction in prices that caused the increase in the sales, then the argument would be much stronger.
Second, to support the argument, the manufacturer adds a result of a survey which concludes that the promotion was favourably received by the majority of its customers. However he fails to check whether the consumer surveyed were true representative of the energy drink's actual customer base. I mean did the survey actually had every type/kind of customer the energy drink has. It is possible that the survey was conducted using inputs from certain people who already were supporter of the energy drink irrespective of drink's price. In such circumstances, the survey would lead to biased result and hence any conclusion made on the basis of such a survey would stand null and void. So if the argument provided with the fact that the sample of people chosen for the survey were true representative of the company's actual consumer base, then the argument would be much stronger.
Finally, I would conclude that the argument very weak and seriously flawed. However, it can be strengthened by supporting it with concrete result that shows that it was only decrease in the price of the energy drink that caused the increase in its sales. As is, the argument is unsubstantiated and remain s open to debate. On the whole, I would concur that the argument is unconvincing.
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sameerballani
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ESSAY QUESTION:
"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Because children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment and no parent can be aware of all of these options, Should the entertainment media ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers. Some people might argue that it is the responsibility of the entertainment media to ensure its content is suitable for young consumers, however other might argue that it is the responsibility of the parent to keep a check on this. This issue is highly controversial, but on a closer examination of facts and studies one can conclude that it is parent who need to keep a check on this. I strongly agree that the role of parent is more crucial than the role entertainment media. The reasons for this has been discussed further.
The chief reason for my support to such a stance is that we need to acknowledge that entertainment media doesn't has a consumer base that only has children. It has a consumer base which has people of all the age group. Thus changing their content keeping in mind a part of consumer base might affect its popularity or sales among other part of consumer base. For example, this could lead to decline in the sales among the people of higher age group. This is certainly not acceptable. However, this can be worked out if the entertainment media industry provided a rating,which depicts whether or not the content is suitable for children, on all of its content and then parents need to make sure that the children watch only those content that is suitable for them.
The other reason and perhaps the best reason is that as the issue mentions that today there are lot of options when it comes to entertainment, so even if at the cost of other undesired affects the content of entertainment media is made suitable for young consumers, it is possible that children might switch to any other option or source. In such a scenario, we would not get the intended effects and could also lead to decline in the sales for entertainment media. For example, few years back the US was facing a similar problem. It first tried to control the content of the entertainment media, but media industry lost on the sales parameter and even the desired result was not achieved. Then the US media industry decide to introduce a rating system, which would tell whether or not the content was suitable for children, for all its product. This was effective as the parents were able to quickly decide whether or not the content was appropriate on the basis of the rating.
On the whole, I strongly feel that the view that parents, supported by entertainment media industry, keeps a check on children outweighs the view that the entertainment media ensures that its content is suitable for young consumers. The benefits of the same has been discussed in aforementioned paragraphs.
"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
Because children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment and no parent can be aware of all of these options, Should the entertainment media ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers. Some people might argue that it is the responsibility of the entertainment media to ensure its content is suitable for young consumers, however other might argue that it is the responsibility of the parent to keep a check on this. This issue is highly controversial, but on a closer examination of facts and studies one can conclude that it is parent who need to keep a check on this. I strongly agree that the role of parent is more crucial than the role entertainment media. The reasons for this has been discussed further.
The chief reason for my support to such a stance is that we need to acknowledge that entertainment media doesn't has a consumer base that only has children. It has a consumer base which has people of all the age group. Thus changing their content keeping in mind a part of consumer base might affect its popularity or sales among other part of consumer base. For example, this could lead to decline in the sales among the people of higher age group. This is certainly not acceptable. However, this can be worked out if the entertainment media industry provided a rating,which depicts whether or not the content is suitable for children, on all of its content and then parents need to make sure that the children watch only those content that is suitable for them.
The other reason and perhaps the best reason is that as the issue mentions that today there are lot of options when it comes to entertainment, so even if at the cost of other undesired affects the content of entertainment media is made suitable for young consumers, it is possible that children might switch to any other option or source. In such a scenario, we would not get the intended effects and could also lead to decline in the sales for entertainment media. For example, few years back the US was facing a similar problem. It first tried to control the content of the entertainment media, but media industry lost on the sales parameter and even the desired result was not achieved. Then the US media industry decide to introduce a rating system, which would tell whether or not the content was suitable for children, for all its product. This was effective as the parents were able to quickly decide whether or not the content was appropriate on the basis of the rating.
On the whole, I strongly feel that the view that parents, supported by entertainment media industry, keeps a check on children outweighs the view that the entertainment media ensures that its content is suitable for young consumers. The benefits of the same has been discussed in aforementioned paragraphs.
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ArpanaAmishi
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I need a clarification here ....is it safe to use the same reasoning as described in PDF ? Experts please help
