PLEASE CORRECT MY ESSAY

coolboyerik wrote:wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww THANKS A LOT... NoBODY HELPS ME.

Hi, this is important to me, it needs me tomorrow for my faculty. Can you read it and correct it? Thanks a lot...

All government representatives and officials will have a difficult task to create plans and strategies to implement the security policy, which should not be just an ordinary enactment of legislation, conventions, and declarations. It is much more than that. Competent supervisory and control authorities should promptly and objectively have the security information in order to predict possible adverse situations and react appropriately before they occur. I sincerely hope that state governments and the international community will make effort and the problem of youth unemployment will be solved by then. Decisions have to be solid, reliable, consistent and unconditionally respected and enforced. Turning out the established framework and trajectory of the security policy in the future will cause problems, setback of socio-economic development of countries and world, destruction, even conflicting situations of significant proportions.

The statement that only with successful and excellent conceived and realistic policy can be solved all problems, risks, threats, dangers and hazards in the general security of the state and the citizens and their integrity, many times throughout history proved correct. Therefore the states and the international community should set up a good security policy, in the short, medium and long term....continued

I normally do not post on Verbal forum as I see far better people are already here. But this is because of a PM:

Do not lose heart my dear friend. Your corrected Essay is here:

The concept of security in all aspects (national, international, individual, physical, economic, social, etc.), lately is a very important issue and a topic of discussion during world affairs as a result of the impact of globalization and the new challenges of the international political and economic scene. Perhaps today, the danger of conventional threats to mankind (for instance start of the world war) is a small, but the new modern threats are increasingly growing. The damages that they can cause are also so huge, negative and harmful to all people in the world. (THIS PARA NEEDS FRAGMENTATION)

Stabilizing factors of peace and security are crucial for the global security system and global security policy. They allow the development of all citizens of the state, and thus the whole society, and therefore should pay more attention to their existence and smooth action. The state provides with them peace, security and stability, which significantly reduces the risk of its destabilization and causing conflict situations. The stability of a country is essential for strengthening the individual and collective awareness of the existence and importance of the state and its ability to improve the quality of life of citizens in every respect. According to the Maslow needs hierarchy the second most important human need (immediately after "Basic needs or Physiological needs" - food and water) is "Safety Needs: Security, Order, and Stability". These two steps are important to the physical survival of the person. He explained that once individuals have basic nutrition, shelter and safety, they attempt to accomplish more.

But basic human needs, living standard and welfare of the people today are influenced by the existence of stabilizing economic factors. Five years after the financial crisis in the world, EU still grapples with the negative effects of it. Many economic experts warned that the European financial system is still not recovered and trying to get back to the old successful times with many difficulties and very slowly. According to the latest Eurostat figures, Greece has a higher percentage of young people out of work, followed by Spain. The number of young Europeans belonging to what has become known as the "lost generation" is increasing at recent time. The brain drain is a phenomenon of today TODAY'S contemporary life.

Because we can not see concrete steps and results in reality to be reduced this negative social phenomenon in Europe and the world, (NOT CLEAR) quite predictably, in the future, this trend to continue growing, so youth unemployment, and unemployment in general will be one of the major security threats in the world. As a result of the global financial crisis, which in future will be deepened, many workers will lose their jobs and can not meet their basic human needs. In the world will differentiate two classes of people: a small group of extremely wealthy capitalists and a huge number of poor people (unemployed, and if they work they will receive minimal incomes) who would barely survive. Consequently, it appeared the mass protests of people around the world, accompanied by great riots and conflicts, and governments will not be able to cope with such activities. Forced migrations in economic terms will lead to the displacement of the demographic distribution of the population across the world, so the poorer countries and developing countries will further impoverished both financially and in population, and rich countries will face an influx of migrants. Considering the difficult economic situation of the population is a major exogenous factor for increasing the rate of crime, in these times will increase significantly the number of property offenses. The increase of any kind of crime is a serious threat to national and international security, because crime doesn't know borders today, and quite often is moving from one country to another.

Therefore, the security policy (national and international) should be aimed at preventing and suppressing all kinds of threats, risks, dangers and hazards, which condition the safety, and not only of those activities included in the group of criminal. Factors, conditions and occasions that cause crime should be identified and detected on time to not perform harmful actions and consequences.

Based on the causal relationships previously exposed gradually and provided by today's events, youth unemployment is a critical issue in security policy that has not been high enough on the international community's agenda. Positive or negative predictions for security in the future are arising from decisions and solutions for this problem. So, according to me, at the 60th Munich Security Conference in 2024, the most important security challenge on the agenda will be the topic: "Youth unemployment - a serious threat to the economic security of the world. How to cut its growth and its harmful consequences?"

All government representatives and officials will have a difficult task to create plans and strategies to implement the security policy, which should not be just an ordinary enactment of legislation, conventions, and declarations. It is much more than that. Competent supervisory and control authorities should promptly and objectively have the security information in order to predict possible adverse situations and react appropriately before they occur. I sincerely hope that state governments and the international community will make effort and the problem of youth unemployment will be solved by then. Decisions have to be solid, reliable, consistent and unconditionally respected and enforced. Turning out the established framework and trajectory of the security policy in the future will cause problems, setback of socio-economic development of countries and world, destruction, even conflicting situations of significant proportions.

The statement that only with successful and excellent conceived and realistic policy can be solved all problems, risks, threats, dangers and hazards in the general security of the state and the citizens and their integrity, many times throughout history proved correct. Therefore the states and the international community should set up a good security policy, in the short, medium and long term.

AVOID PASSIVE VOICE
REVISE FRAGMENTATION
AMBIGUOUS USE OF PRONOUN

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