Please rate: A of Issue - Corporations and ranks

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Hello all, please help me rate my essay. Your review is much appreciated!!!

"Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


Some people believe that corporations and businesses should get rid of ranks and different salaries based on the different background of their employees, such as the employee's experience. By getting rid of ranks and having a relatively flat organizational structure, the employees are more motivated to cooperate. Though a flat organizational structure may have some merit, the ranks in the corporations are created for an economical reason. The ranks and difference in salaries help the corporations by motivating the employees, eliminating inefficiencies, and becoming more effective because of employee's expertise.
The primary reason for ranks and higher salary as you get higher in ranks is to motivate the employees to challenge themselves and help company do better. If an employee knows that he can get higher salary or more authority by getting his job done or exceptionally well, the employee has more incentive to do so and keep pushing himself forward. This motivation helps the company as a whole because the employees are more motivated to do better.

The secondary reason for ranks is to eliminate inefficiencies. If each employee can do more and les and get the same salary as the other employee next to him. He has more incentive to do less because his pay and rank will not decrease as he decreases his productivity. A study by the BusinessWeek showed that, more and more employees are less productive when their boss is not in the office. The decrease in productivity in a flat organizational structure may be hurtful to the company.

The third reason is that having employees getting paid based on their expertise helps the company as a whole. The company can invest in employees with certain expertise and substantially help the company's sales. If there is a flat organizational structure, the company may not be able to recruit these experts or may not attract enough talent to be shown within the company. It is crucial for companies to have the right employees with the appropriate expertise to grow.

Some people claim that employees would have more motivation to work if they don't have authority stressing them out. Though this may be true, the authority is there to help guide the employees to work in an organization. The authority, with higher expertise, can give the appropriate guidance to the lower ranked employees and teach them to be better at the tasks.
In sum, the ranks and difference in salaries in corporations are here for a reason. These structures support the corporations to bloom and become successful by motivating the employees in a positive manner. Corporations should encourage giving rewards such as ranks and higher pay to compensate employees for their hard work and help maintain the employees happiness within the corporations.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by arora007 » Wed Dec 15, 2010 5:54 am
The opening paragraph does not clearly take a side.

A few wordy sentences here and there.
"The primary reason for ranks and higher salary as you get higher in ranks"
"A study by the BusinessWeek showed that, more and more employees are less productive when their boss is not in the office."

Indentation of 5 spaces is great to have before each paragraph. Leaving 1 line between paragraphs is a neat idea. But leaving a line has been missed in the First paragraph.

How nice it woudl have been if the paragraph "Some people" started with
"Finally, although some people"

Overall, the clarity of thought is evident. The writer has also done well with the length of the essay. I would have given a 4.5 or a 5.
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