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AWA (Argument) - Please rate

Expert replies
by lollypopa17 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 11:57 pm
A recent study with a researcher pretending to have a broken down car on the side of the road showed that when the researcher was a man, 60% of the time, a man pulled over to help them, and 0% of the time a woman stopped to help. When the researcher was a woman, 70% of the time a man stopped to help, and 20% of the time a woman stopped to help. This study shows how all men are more naturally altruistic than women. It also shows that women care more about helping women than men.

How would you rate the accuracy of the above statement? Support your position with reasons and examples.



The above argument that all men are more naturally altruistic than women and that women care more about helping women than men is not well reasoned and is based on questionable assumptions and lack of detailed information.

First, the study is not a representative sample to make a general statement on the behavioral patterns of men and women. The study is specific to help offered by a man or woman on the road for a broken down car. The results from this study cannot be simply extended and generalized as a conclusion on how men and women offer help to other real world scenarios. For example, the results can be inversely true for a similar study done when a researcher is a blind man or woman stranded on a road.

Second, the study does not provide enough details to arrive at such a conclusion specific to the scenario of a broken down car. More information like the country or location where the research was performed, statistical information like the number of men and women drivers in the area, etc will be helpful to understand the different factors and variables that would have attributed to justified the conclusion.

Third, one must also consider the risks to crimes while offering help to a stranger on the road. Women are more likely victims of crimes like abduction, rape and robbery than men when offering help to a stranger on a road. Therefore it is likely that women will be more apprehensive than men to offer help to a stranger on the road.

Thus, the above argument that all men are more naturally altruistic than women and that women care more about helping women than men is not well reasoned
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by becnil » Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:44 pm
Just from what I have learned so far (no attempt to actually rate your essays):

Try to include at least 3 sentences in each paragraph. Your introduction and conclusion paragraphs are only one sentence each. Try to include a little bit more in those paragraphs.

Proofread your essay to fix some grammatical errors like "to justified" (should be to justify), " more likely victims" (should be more likely to be victims).

Good Luck !!
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