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deterioration of the postal service:

Expert replies
by \'manpreet singh » Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:37 am
Kindly evaluate how i have written the argument essays, would really appreciate if experts can give pointers for improvement :)

The following appeared in the opinion section of a national news magazine:

"To reverse the deterioration of the postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


My answer:
In the argument the author wants to decrease the deterioration of the postal service which seems to be in a dismal state right now by increasing the price of the postage stamps,which according to him will lead to increase in revenue and contribute to high employee morale.Though the author may be right in his verdict in the argument,but as it is the argument is weakly constructed using the premise and assumptions on which it is based upon.There are many loop holes that need to be fixed for it to be a proper argument.

The argument is based on false premises which have no evidentiary support which could help the reader accept it as valid.Author mentions that by raising the price of the postage stamps the revenue will increase.This might not be true for all cases,because though the prices of stamps are being increased,we can't be sure that it would lead to increase in revenue as people might not make as many posts as before,thereby having no or negative effect on the revenue.Further it states that the volume of the mail would be reduced which eliminates the strain on the existing system,this fact does not have any relevance with the current state of the postal service as no relationship is mentioned as to how the volume of the mail could be good or bad for the postal services.If less volume is there than it could be that people are not preferring it as before which is a negative effect of adopting this policy.The author should correct his premises and provide more evidence to support it if he wants ti render it valid.

There are few assumptions on which the argument is loosely based on,as the author increases the postage stamp prices he assumes that the number of the posts would remain same irrespective for price,he could be fully wrong here as people might prefer other services which are cheaper than it.This could cause huge losses to the postal service.Even if the revenue is increased how can we be sure that the increased revenue is properly utilized to improve the current state of postal services,there is big question mark on this very important factor.The author also assumes that the heavy volume of the mail is the reason for the dismal state of postal service ,this assumption is not supported by a evidence in the argument.How could the heavy volume of the mails be responsible for deterioration, rather it is the job of postal services to handle all demands. In addition to these assumptions author makes another assumption that the employee morale would be improved making the changes as suggested ,but how is employee moral improving with this,are there increases in pay hikes,there are many factors which affect the employee morale which are not discussed.

To strengthen the argument the author should have added details stating how the volume of mails is responsible for the current state and what factors could lead to increased employee morale and how the revenue will increase irrespective of increased prices.

If the author can make above changes in his argument and provides strong premises and evidences to support his conclusion,we are afraid he will be able to persuade many readers to accept his argument which is based on false assumptions and poorly constructed without any satisfactory evidences to convince us that the proposed increase in price of postage stamps would lead to reversal of deterioration of postal services.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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