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Please rate my first AWA and help me to improve in essays.

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by [email protected] » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:03 am
Argument:

"People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body's ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals."
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

Analysis of the argument:

Author claims that the intake or consumption of artificial sweetener "aspartame" does not help in weight loss; instead it contributes in weight gain. Author also mentions a supporting fact that the consumption depletes the brain of chemical that registers satiety and hence trigger carving for food. In support the conclusion author also claims that if natural sugar is replaced by artificial sugar and consumed at least after 45 minutes of the exercise, it will not help in cutting down the fat as natural sugar does. Based on the facts above author concludes that the people who are trying for a weight loss should deprive themselves from artificial sugar.
Author fails to provide enough support in favor of conclusion and hence seems to be lacking evidence and is based on assumptions which can be evaluated further.
To start with, author's argument of "aspartame increasing the urge for food" is although derived from a scientific research; author fails to justify its reliability. Author's assumption is purely based on the test performed on a small sample based on which a generalize conclusion is derived. In addition to it, Research fails to provide additional information such as how much quantity of artificial sugar has been consumed by an individual. Was the intake high, low or moderate? Is the quantity comparable to the amount which is normally consumed by an individual on diet? Hence, without supplying any such additional info, author's claims cannot be completely justified.

In addition to the above argument, author also claims that the natural sugar helps in burning fat is again derived from a small set of people who exercise and then consumes sugar after 45 minutes. Authors again subsides the fact that all the people who are on weight loss diet does not exercise daily and those who exercise daily do not use any artificial or natural sugar extract after 45 minutes of exercise . The author again generalizes the statement for all. With more specific examples, the argument could have been strengthened.

Though we cannot deny the fact that author's inferences are derived from a research data, the reliability and credibility of the data can be easily questioned which makes Author's argument weak. Hence based on the quoted facts, I am not convinced enough to accept the conclusion derived by the author.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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