Please rate my essay - analysis of argument

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AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:

"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


YOUR RESPONSE:
From the passage above we learned that Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. The author suggests that Americans, should spend more time focusing on personal and community development, because America is loosing its competitive edge.

The conclusion may well have merit. However, this poorly reasoned argument is based on questionable assumptions and premises. It lacks statistical data and is the result of generalization. I cannot accept the conclusion as valid.

First, the author presents the fact that people spend 25% of their leisure time shopping as the major reason for America loosing its competitive edge. It would help the argument if the author showed a bigger picture and outlined several reasons for America loosing its competitive edge and their relative input.

Second, the successful economy depends on capital turn around. If people do not go shopping and do not spend money, then American economy would suffer. The author suggests that people reduce their time shopping to fix one problem. However, if people would follow this advise, America would end up having another problem of declining economy.

Finally, the author does not provide any information about how Americans spend the other 75% of their leisure time. It well could be that people do spend majority of their time focusing on personal and community development. Therefore, it would help the argument if the author provided some statistical data describing the population's leisure time distribution.

In sum, the conclusion may look appealing at first, however, the author has looked over a number of points. If the author addresses the issues above, he or she would have a better argument. As it stands the logic has flaws and the argument is weak.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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