Please rate my issue essay

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Please rate my issue essay

by zephyr101 » Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:41 am
ESSAY QUESTION:
"The purpose of government is not to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens, but rather to maintain order."
From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


YOUR RESPONSE:
The statement that the purpose of government is not to ensure the financial well-being of its citizens, but rather to maintain order doesn't fit the ideology of the contemporary world. The statement implies that even if the denizens live in penury, the purpose of the government is fulfilled as long as there is no anarchy in the society. It fails to take into account the relationship between financial well being of the citizens and order in the society.

A government's primary role is to ensure the well being - social, financial and physical- of its citizens. If it fails in any one of these, the native people would face problems and if these problems culminate into an epidemic, it would disrupt the order of the society. Thus, financial soundness is somewhat related to order in the society. A government's whose prime focus is on maintaining order rules by force and creates discontentment among its citizens.

For instance, take the case of India as ruled by two Mughal emperors - Akbar and Aurangzeb. Both were able to maintain order in the society but their approach were contrasting. While Akbar focussed on the well being of his subjects, Aurangzeb wielded brute force to control his subjects. Accordingly, the people were happy during the reign of Akbar whereas poverty spread during the reign of Aurangzeb and there was widespread discontent among people. After Aurangzeb died, the society crumbled.

Hence, it can be concluded that maintaining order is not the sole purpose of the government but one of its many purposes. Ensuring financial well being of its citizens is as important, if not more, as maintaining order in the society.
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by Brent@GMATPrepNow » Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:42 pm
Very nice essay, zephyr! (once I looked up "penury") :-)
Great writing - great points.

My only criticism is that it might be a little on the short side (276 words). This isn't to say that an essay MUST have a certain number of words to score a 6, but if you look at the exemplar essays in the OG, it seems that you should shoot for at least 300-350 words.

Of course, quality is FAR more important than quantity here.

I'd give this essay a 5.5 (only because it might be a little short)

Cheers,
Brent
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by needthis » Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:16 am
Brent@GMATPrepNow wrote:Very nice essay, zephyr! (once I looked up "penury") :-)
Great writing - great points.

My only criticism is that it might be a little on the short side (276 words). This isn't to say that an essay MUST have a certain number of words to score a 6, but if you look at the exemplar essays in the OG, it seems that you should shoot for at least 300-350 words.

Of course, quality is FAR more important than quantity here.

I'd give this essay a 5.5 (only because it might be a little short)

Cheers,
Brent
I think it's nicely written essay as well.
Brent,
does the length of the essay really play such an important roll? I mean should you have more
"fluffy" sentences as in the ones given in the sticky template by myohmy?

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by Brent@GMATPrepNow » Thu Jun 30, 2011 6:21 pm
needthis wrote: I think it's nicely written essay as well.
Brent,
does the length of the essay really play such an important roll? I mean should you have more
"fluffy" sentences as in the ones given in the sticky template by myohmy?
I don't think we need to add fluffy sentences, but there is a certain degree of word volume that one might want to put forth when defending a certain side of an issue. Remember, your goal here is to state your position and defend your position to a reasonable extent. In defending your position, we should probably have 3 or more main points and these points will use up more words.

As I said, there's no rule about word count, but judging from GMAC's exemplar essays, it appears that there might be an approximate expected word-count minimum.

Cheers,
Brent
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by kriti87 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:32 pm
Hi , please rate my issue essay.

Topic : "Location has traditionally been one of the most important determinants of a business's success. The
importance of location is not likely to change, no matter how advanced the development of computer
communications and others kinds of technology becomes."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with
reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading."



Response :

The issue of whether or not location is an important criteria to be considered for the success of a business enterprise, is a contentious one. While each side has its own strengths and weaknesses, I believe that location is an important concern that needs to be addressed by corporates or entrepreneurs while setting up their businesses. Although, improved communications and technology have facilitated ease in carrying out business transactions and dealings, location concerns need to be given priority as well.
Firstly, it has to be understood that every business caters to a specific market and section of consumers. Businesses like manufacturing industries have to take into consideration, the kind of employment opportunities that they hope to generate for the locals.
For example, Tata Steel tried setting up its manufacturing plant in Sindhudurg, West Bengal, but failed to consider that the locals were all farmers and possessed their own land. Setting up a steel plant in such an area, only outraged the locals and the decision to set up the plant was postponed indefinitely.
Secondly, it is highly imperative in deciding whether or not the targeted consumer business is urban or rural focused.
For example, a middle class entrepreneur who was passionate about teaching and training poor students for the IIT entrance examinations, set up his own training institute in a town near Bihar,India. Although, he did not earn much from this venture, he was successful in enabling his students to enter the prestigious IITs. Conversely, if he had considered setting up his venture in the big city, he would have probably faced fierce competition from other training institutes. But, his wise choice of location has made him a successful individual today.
Some may argue that business today is global where language barriers become more of a concern than location. Locations range from Rio in Brazil to Tokyo in Japan.This point is flawed since companies have to evaluate the cultural backgrounds, emotional attributes of their future employees in those locations; whether setting up a business will ensure growth.
For example, a professional services firm such as Deloitte Touche and Tohmatsu, has to give location and environment a high priority before strategically setting up an office.

In conclusion, location needs to be primary concern for organizations, as an incorrect choice of a location can hamper growth and business prospects. Thus, the importance of location is not likely to change regardless of the advancement of communications and technology.

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by kriti87 » Fri Jul 15, 2011 5:51 am
Please grade this essay so that I understand my strengths and weaknesses. Thanks!

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