Please Rate my issue essay

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Please Rate my issue essay

by deepak1485 » Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:18 am
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Employees always perform better when given a say in determining the boundaries of their roles within a company."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The author above opines that employees will perform well if they have a say in how boundaries of roles within a company are determined.I agree with the author as I find it has a sound basis .

The foremost point why I agree to the point is that it ensures employee satisfaction . Let me illustrate this point with an example consider an employee in a situation where he is not allowed to set boundaries but needs to respect the boundaries set by the management .If he disagrees with the management he has no say he eventually thinks he cannot change any thing and dissatisfaction begins to build however if the same employee is in a company, which allows the boundaries to be determined by employees he will at least have a hope that some thing might change and not build dissatisfaction.

The second reason why I agree with the above statement is because by giving a say in the management of the company you are creating a feeling that the employee is a part and parcel of the company rather than a robot hired to do a particular job this can be critical for a success of the business. Consider an example of a assembly line worker who thinks that job a ,b , c if done in a different way will yield higher revenue if we don't allow him express this thought the company may be missing out millions in production

The last reason why I admire this statement is it promotes transparency by allowing workers to have a say in roles of a company .We are making it clear that the roles are defined by people who actually do the job there by increasing the value of the role among the workers .They also understand that this role has to do this much which will further improve the standing of the company among the workers .


In conclusion , The statement above has a sound basis of satisfaction of the employees ,creating a feeling of oneness among the employees and transparency of the roles ,these factors will help the any company to be successful in the market place because only happy employees deliver good results .
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by grockit_andrea » Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:34 am
You do a good job of clearly stating your position in the opening paragraph, and of maintaining a good sense of structure throughout. But your essay would be stronger if you used examples from business in the past or present, instead of just hypotheticals. Talking about specific companies and how they approach the issue would make your essay more engaging. You also have many errors in grammar, punctuation, and vocabulary usage; I would suggest spending some time brushing up on those issues before your test, and also leaving several minutes at the end of your essay writing to edit out as many mistakes as you can. A few minor errors won't hurt your score, but a consistent and distracting pattern of errors will, and I think your essay has enough issues that it would reach that point. As currently written, I think I would give this a 3. Good luck with your continued practice and improvement!
Andrea A.
Grockit Tutor
https://www.grockit.com

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by deepak1485 » Mon Jun 14, 2010 9:59 pm
Thank you Andrea . will work on the points you have told .

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by ArpanaAmishi » Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:35 am
I have diffrent opinion here ... sorry :-( .

1. You may want to acknowledge opposite side also- this would ensure you see the full spectrum of the issue

2. Sentecnes needs to be breadown in smaller one.

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by deepak1485 » Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:45 pm
ArpanaAmishi wrote:I have diffrent opinion here ... sorry :-( .
No need to be sorry .
ArpanaAmishi wrote: 1. You may want to acknowledge opposite side also- this would ensure you see the full spectrum of the issue
This is a very good point . Agree to it .
ArpanaAmishi wrote: 2. Sentecnes needs to be breadown in smaller one.
This is something I try hard but find it difficult to do :-( .

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