-
hongwang9703
- Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts
- Posts: 73
- Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:46 pm
- Location: Buffalo
Argument:
"In order to earn the most money for supplemental school programs, we will have larger and more thrilling rides at this year's School Fair, including a ferris wheel that is twice as tall as last year's ferris wheel. In addition, the game vendors will award more expensive prizes and the food stalls will showcase a variety of upscale international dishes. As a result, we will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and the dollar amount we earn via our commission on the vendors' revenues will be higher than it was last year."
The author concluded that this year the schools will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and that the dollar amount the school earns via the vendors' revenue will be higher this year than last year's. The author's line of argument is that the larger and more thrilling rides, including a ferris wheel that is twice the size of last year's, in addition to more expensive prizes and variety of upscale international dishes, will warrant this year's success. However, the author's conclusion lies on a few unsupported assumptions, thus rendering his arguments questionable at best.
The author's argument lies on the assumption that students, who are the main attendents of the school's fair, will be able to afford the higher entrance fee. However, there is no data to support this assumption. It can be equally assumed that students do not have sufficient funds to pay for the higher entrance fee, thus, will not be able to attend the fair. If there is evidence to prove that students are able to afford the higher entrance fee, then the author's conclusion will be strenghtened.
Another mistaken assumption is that students are attracted to more thrilling rides, ferris wheel twice the size of last year's, and upscale international dishes. However, again, there is no data to support this. Another equally plausible assumption is that students are afraid of height and are not attracted to the larger ferris wheel, thus not attending the fair this year; Or the students at that particular school find international dishes appalling, thus will not attend the fair this year.
Also the author claims that the school will be able to earn higher revenue this year from the vendors' commission. This will happen only if the vendor is able to earn higher revenue this year while keeping the costs lower or equal to last year's. However, because the vendors will be awarding expensive prizes, their costs are bound to be higher than last year's, and we do not know if the vendors' revenue will be higher, rendering the claim a weak one. There has to be more evidence to show there will be more students attending the fair this year, and that they will paying more money to the game vendors.
In conclusion, if the author can show that students will be able to afford the higher entrance fee, or that students are attracted to more thrilling rides and international dishes, his conslusion will be more logically sound.
ISSUE:
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:
An author once wrote that "The invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us." Today this is even more true as the rise of the Internet has enabled inexpensive global communication.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet have indeed prevented us from appreciating the physical distance between us. This is more true today than ever due to the prevalence of Social networking applications, the invention of video messaging, and the wide spread of cell phone use. There is no longer any communication or social distance between people today, but only physical distance.
The social networking application, one of which is Facebook, not only allows us to check the current status of our loved ones, but also allows us to communicate with them by, writing on their message boards, or senting them messages. People no longer need to write letters that take forever to be received. Communication is instantaneous and that has definitely prevented us from appreciating the distance between us.
The invention of video messaging has really taken the glocal communication to a new level. People no longer need to travel across the world to see friends anymore but to sign on a computer equipped with a camera. This allows them to converse face to face so to speak; they will be able to see their love ones, their emotions, and their excitements via the web camera. This has impeded people from having to travel across the world to see others.
The wide spread use of cell phones also has served to prevent us from appreciating the distance between us. Nowadays, everyone has a cell phone from age as young as 8 years old to 80 years old. Parents no longer need to worry when their children go out because they know that cell phones allow them to have immediate communication. Whomever we need to talk to or see, all we have to do is make a phone call, making communication easiest it has ever been!
Because of the the ease of access to communicate with friends and loved ones, people have been more spread out than ever. Unlick centuries ago, there are no more constraints prohiting people from communicating with friends and family. Inexpensive glocal communication has given people more freedom to travel, live abroad and experience the diversified culture that the world has to offer. It is more true than ever that invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet have vanished the inability for us to communicate instantaneously, thus prevented us from appreciating the distance between us.
"In order to earn the most money for supplemental school programs, we will have larger and more thrilling rides at this year's School Fair, including a ferris wheel that is twice as tall as last year's ferris wheel. In addition, the game vendors will award more expensive prizes and the food stalls will showcase a variety of upscale international dishes. As a result, we will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and the dollar amount we earn via our commission on the vendors' revenues will be higher than it was last year."
The author concluded that this year the schools will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and that the dollar amount the school earns via the vendors' revenue will be higher this year than last year's. The author's line of argument is that the larger and more thrilling rides, including a ferris wheel that is twice the size of last year's, in addition to more expensive prizes and variety of upscale international dishes, will warrant this year's success. However, the author's conclusion lies on a few unsupported assumptions, thus rendering his arguments questionable at best.
The author's argument lies on the assumption that students, who are the main attendents of the school's fair, will be able to afford the higher entrance fee. However, there is no data to support this assumption. It can be equally assumed that students do not have sufficient funds to pay for the higher entrance fee, thus, will not be able to attend the fair. If there is evidence to prove that students are able to afford the higher entrance fee, then the author's conclusion will be strenghtened.
Another mistaken assumption is that students are attracted to more thrilling rides, ferris wheel twice the size of last year's, and upscale international dishes. However, again, there is no data to support this. Another equally plausible assumption is that students are afraid of height and are not attracted to the larger ferris wheel, thus not attending the fair this year; Or the students at that particular school find international dishes appalling, thus will not attend the fair this year.
Also the author claims that the school will be able to earn higher revenue this year from the vendors' commission. This will happen only if the vendor is able to earn higher revenue this year while keeping the costs lower or equal to last year's. However, because the vendors will be awarding expensive prizes, their costs are bound to be higher than last year's, and we do not know if the vendors' revenue will be higher, rendering the claim a weak one. There has to be more evidence to show there will be more students attending the fair this year, and that they will paying more money to the game vendors.
In conclusion, if the author can show that students will be able to afford the higher entrance fee, or that students are attracted to more thrilling rides and international dishes, his conslusion will be more logically sound.
ISSUE:
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:
An author once wrote that "The invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us." Today this is even more true as the rise of the Internet has enabled inexpensive global communication.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet have indeed prevented us from appreciating the physical distance between us. This is more true today than ever due to the prevalence of Social networking applications, the invention of video messaging, and the wide spread of cell phone use. There is no longer any communication or social distance between people today, but only physical distance.
The social networking application, one of which is Facebook, not only allows us to check the current status of our loved ones, but also allows us to communicate with them by, writing on their message boards, or senting them messages. People no longer need to write letters that take forever to be received. Communication is instantaneous and that has definitely prevented us from appreciating the distance between us.
The invention of video messaging has really taken the glocal communication to a new level. People no longer need to travel across the world to see friends anymore but to sign on a computer equipped with a camera. This allows them to converse face to face so to speak; they will be able to see their love ones, their emotions, and their excitements via the web camera. This has impeded people from having to travel across the world to see others.
The wide spread use of cell phones also has served to prevent us from appreciating the distance between us. Nowadays, everyone has a cell phone from age as young as 8 years old to 80 years old. Parents no longer need to worry when their children go out because they know that cell phones allow them to have immediate communication. Whomever we need to talk to or see, all we have to do is make a phone call, making communication easiest it has ever been!
Because of the the ease of access to communicate with friends and loved ones, people have been more spread out than ever. Unlick centuries ago, there are no more constraints prohiting people from communicating with friends and family. Inexpensive glocal communication has given people more freedom to travel, live abroad and experience the diversified culture that the world has to offer. It is more true than ever that invention of the telephone and the rise of the internet have vanished the inability for us to communicate instantaneously, thus prevented us from appreciating the distance between us.
i got utterly defeated by the gmat.
