Please rate

This topic has expert replies
Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:24 am

Please rate

by smartmundu » Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:56 pm
Analysis of Argument
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

In the passage it is argued by the internet advertising company that the internet
advertising can help the businesses in increasing profitability. Support for this
claim takes the form, primarily of an assumption that only internet
advertisement led to the increase of company's revenues which further led to
the increase in company's profitability. On deeper analysis of the subject at
hand, however, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not
been taken into account, leading to a number of flaws.

One such flaw is the assumption that increase in the sales of a company solely depends on the internet advertising. The author put forward an example
of Furniture Depot's increase in sales over last year and implied that only
reason for the increase is because of the internet advertise. However, author
does not take into consideration various other factors such as improve in
quality, better customer service for the increase in the sales. In order to
strengthen the argument, author should provide the facts which show the total
yearly sales because of internet advertising.

Another statement, significantly weakening the argument, is that profitability
increase is directly linked to the increase in sales. The author states that
Furniture depot's sales results in the profitability increase. However author
does not mentioned about the actual revenues and expenditure, including cost
related to the services provided by the advertising company, incurred by the company to show the actual profitability figure. To overcome this flaw, the
argument should mention the revenues and expenditure figures to show the
actual profitability increase.

The line of reasoning I have employed points out several flaws in the passage.
After closer examination of the matter, I conclude that the above argument is
not logically sound
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:24 am

by smartmundu » Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:21 pm
Some please rate...GMAT in 2 days

GMAT Instructor
Posts: 357
Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:31 pm
Thanked: 128 times
Followed by:7 members

by grockit_andrea » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:26 am
When I saw the first part of your essay, I thought it was probably going to be a 5. But unfortunately, it cut off too abruptly to earn that score; I'd probably predict that this would get a 4, although it would be a high 4. The paragraphs that you did write were very well done; you focused on the argument, explained flaws thoroughly, and explained how those flaws could be fixed. While your language use was sometimes a little off (you seem to have some minor issues with the definite article, for example) I don't think it would be a big enough problem to lower your score. In order to get a high score, though, you have to expand upon this; it reads like you ran out of time and wrapped it up abruptly. Adding a third example would help here. Perhaps something about the assumption that Furniture Depot's business is analogous to that of the advertisement's audience? For a business whose primary clientele doesn't use the internet, the marketing strategy mentioned here would not be useful. That's just an idea, though; just in general, adding a third example, and writing that paragraph as well as you wrote the two other example paragraphs, would bump this score up. Filling out your conclusion a little more might help as well. You could briefly refer back to your three stated flaws in order to add a little more length to your final paragraph and avoid its abruptness.
Good luck with your exam!
Andrea A.
Grockit Tutor
https://www.grockit.com

• Page 1 of 1