pls help evaluate

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pls help evaluate

by dsruti » Sat May 02, 2015 1:32 am
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

"The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument states that due to the inflow of immigrant workers, the average compensation of unskilled labour has declined ,due to which it is important to put a hold on further immigration.However I believe the premise on which the above argument is based is a flawed one.Primary reason being that immigration has no connection with declining wages and also labour.

Also, the author's concluding statement that imposing a moratorium will protect the local economy is a flawed one as there are many other ways to protect the economy .Instead of imposing a moratorium, one can divide the work given to local unskilled labour and immigrant workers which could also be of a different nature and can be identified, right at the time of migration.Another factor to check here is whether the immigrant workers are legal migrants or not thereby taking away jobs from the locals.

All in all,the conclusion is flawed and the argument could have been better explained in terms of the effect of the immigrant workers on the economy on the whole and not only with respect to wages.
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by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Sat May 02, 2015 11:04 am
Hello dsruti,

I think you accidentally posted this essay a few times, so I'm replying to the most recent submission. If you have any specific questions, please let me know.

Writing: Make sure that you leave a few minutes at the end to read through your essay and find writing errors. There were several issues with punctuation that I think you'd fix if you spend time revising. You don't need to say "I believe." Your argument will be stronger if you take "I" statements out: compare "However I believe the premise...is a flawed one" with "However, the author's premise is flawed."

Structure: You quickly summarize the author's argument in your introduction, which is a good way to start your essay. You need to write at least one more body paragraph (preferably two if you have the time) if you want to reach a top score, so I'd recommend starting your half-hour on the AWA section by making an outline of key points that you will include. The conclusion could use one more sentence to round out the essay.

Arguments/Examples: You found two examples to support your claim, though you only developed your point about how there are other ways to protect the economy. Another body paragraph with the information about legal/illegal workers would better support your ideas.

Suggestions for Improvement: You'll need to work on increasing your response length and coming up with more examples if you want to reach a top score. This is a good first attempt, but you should do more practice responses. When you have the time, review our free videos to get some tips on structuring and writing your AWA:

- AWA Section Overview - https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... ent?id=765
- Argument Essay Overview - https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... ent?id=769
- Generating Points for the Argument Essay - https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... ent?id=770
- Writing the AWA Argument Essay - https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... ent?id=771
- General Tips - https://www.gmatprepnow.com/module/gmat- ... ent?id=772

I hope this helps!
-Katharine
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by dsruti » Sat May 02, 2015 12:11 pm
noted, thankyou very much

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by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Sun May 03, 2015 10:56 am
You're welcome! If you have other questions, please let me know.
Katharine Rudzitis - BA
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We have plans to suit every learning style and budget:
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