Essay... Your evaluation

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Essay... Your evaluation

by alto34 » Wed Jun 04, 2008 3:32 am
Hi,

As a foreigner, I'm preparing to "beat " the GMAT, but I need to work hard to do that. So to prepare myself for the D day I worked this morning on my first essay.

If anyone could give me his/her opinion,

Thanks

T.


"The japanese always have to consult a companion or call a conference to solve even the most trivial things. In India, there are definite rules for family members (and this is also true for other social groups), so that when one wants to do something, one knows whether it is all right by following those rules. Because of the rule system, things get done more quickly in India."

Discuss how logically persuasive you find the argunment. In presenting your point of view, analyse the sort of reasoning used and its supporting evidence,. Ina addition, state what further evidence would make the argument more sound and convincing or would make you better able to evaluate its conclusion.


"
The main argument presented by the author is that in India, because of the rule system, things get done more quickly than in Japan, where people need to collaborate to solve a problem.

This argument is not convincing enough to me because it does not present the results of those choices, so we cannot take any conclusion from this statement. For example, are the choices made by the rule system more efficient? Can we conclude that those choices are not only quicker, but also wiser? This is the kind of question we cannot answer by reading this argument.

Also, all the situations cannot be described in a rule system. Therefore a rule system looks like a traditional system that drive people to the same conclusions when they’re facing the same kind of situations. It does not allow any innovation. We can compare the two nations: Japan is known as an innovative nation. On the other hand, India is traditionnaly known as a very efficient country in less innovative industries. This is evolving a lot in the last decade: we see more and more innovative indian companies but I assume that the decision making process in those companies is not a rule system, but more a western style process.

My opinion is that there are different levels of decisions, and different ways to take those decisions. The two examples, if true, are quite excessive and the reality is between those two opposite. For example, by living in a society, or working in a company, there are always rules that must be followed, and each one of us knows what to do in certain circumstances. But when we’re facing new situations, or when we have to take important decisions (business, personnal), we often need to consult other people. So to me both attitudes are relevant, it’s just a matter of what kind of decision should be taken.
"
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by VP_Jim » Sun Jun 15, 2008 8:56 pm
Hi alto34,

In an Analysis of an Argument essay, you should not write about your own opinion. This essay simply asks for you to find the assumptions that the author has made in his statement, and how the author could perhaps make his argument more compelling.

I recommend writing an introductory paragraph, three body paragraphs (with one example/point you're trying to make per paragraph), and a conclusion. Also, try not to use first person pronouns ("I," "we," etc.), and take time to proofread for spelling errors before you submit the essay. Finally, you need to support the questions that you asked (for example, "are the choices made by the rule system more efficient?").

I would rate this essay a 2. Good luck, and hope this helps!
Jim S. | GMAT Instructor | Veritas Prep

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by AISHA123 » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:32 am
Decision making is an important and most convoluted part of life as one has to bear the repercussions if the result is not drawn as expected. Different cultures have different ways of doing things like in Japan; they have a habit of involving everybody even for smaller things for the purpose of taking a decision. On the other hand, India has developed a set of rules that is being followed since centuries and is embedded in their culture.

Indian rules thus make the individual to follow the set pattern within their authority and take a decision promptly. Most of the people are automated to act in this way unlike in Japanese culture where conference over trivial things takes a lot of time

For example, in India, it's the rules and culture that people don't marry outside their religion or girls wearing modern clothes are labeled as being morally corrupt unlike that in Japan where the society has become very secular and progressive.

This is the standardization of the approach where repeated actions become inculcated in their life style and is the basis for the norms and rules that people follow. However this has a drawback that people in India feel powerless when it comes to defying the norms and taking up courage to denounce the rules that has been implacable since centuries. This results in a death of innovative ideas as well, not to forget missing the plethora of opportunities.

Evidence is required in the percentage of the correct decision being taken by Indian or Japanese societies. Also the resistance that both the cultures face in the form of set pattern or conference solution to come at what is the best approach for an individual or society


It can be ascertained even if rules are defined they can't ensure that the decision taken is correct morally or practically due to the rapid change in modern society. Communication or consensus for smaller things not only help the person to take a right decision but also encourage participative behavior to led a healthy life.

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