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albatross86
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Hi, I'd really appreciate it if someone would rate my essay and leave feedback, thanks!
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The author of this extract argues that average Americans spend too much of their time pandering to consumerism, when they should be using this time towards personal and communal development. The author emphasizes that shopping is a trivial pursuit, that results in America losing out in the international competition of productivity and development. I would like to critique this argument by pointing out one strength in its foundation, and two weaknesses in its inference.
The strength in the author's argument lies in the fact that it is indeed true that consumerism has taken a forefront today. We live in a materialistic society that relies on buyer behavior to keep the economy going; the collective efforts of marketing and advertising are to encourage spending. This attitude has been documented as being particularly prevalent in the United States, as the author points out. The foundation of the author's opinion is hence accurate.
However, in suggesting his plan of action for Americans to improve their productivity, the author fails to clarify his opinion. While it is superficially justified to assume that education and personal development are a better use of one's time, it is quite possible that average Americans are spending their spare time from such efforts towards leisure such as shopping. For example, if a college student spends three hours a week at a nearby mall, but only on weekends or after college hours, this does not necessarily affect his/her productivity or development, as this may simply be the form of leisure he/she prefers. It is therefore too forward of the author to advocate that Americans must restrict their leisure time, which in essence should be effortless and relaxing, and thus a personal choice.
The second weakness is the author's negligence in accounting for the benefits of a consumerist economy. Increased spending and a healthy buying attitude can be positive factors in bolstering an unstable economy. If Americans were to follow the author's advice without considering all its repercussions, they could possibly face unforeseen effects on the economy, which could cascade into an inhibited educational, personal and communal development in general.
Therefore, my opinion of the author's argument is that even though the statistical foundations may be accurate, the recommendations are unjustified and require further examination. The author would do well to specify what exactly he/she suggests that Americans should replace their leisure time with, and to elaborate on the effects of a buying attitude.
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The author of this extract argues that average Americans spend too much of their time pandering to consumerism, when they should be using this time towards personal and communal development. The author emphasizes that shopping is a trivial pursuit, that results in America losing out in the international competition of productivity and development. I would like to critique this argument by pointing out one strength in its foundation, and two weaknesses in its inference.
The strength in the author's argument lies in the fact that it is indeed true that consumerism has taken a forefront today. We live in a materialistic society that relies on buyer behavior to keep the economy going; the collective efforts of marketing and advertising are to encourage spending. This attitude has been documented as being particularly prevalent in the United States, as the author points out. The foundation of the author's opinion is hence accurate.
However, in suggesting his plan of action for Americans to improve their productivity, the author fails to clarify his opinion. While it is superficially justified to assume that education and personal development are a better use of one's time, it is quite possible that average Americans are spending their spare time from such efforts towards leisure such as shopping. For example, if a college student spends three hours a week at a nearby mall, but only on weekends or after college hours, this does not necessarily affect his/her productivity or development, as this may simply be the form of leisure he/she prefers. It is therefore too forward of the author to advocate that Americans must restrict their leisure time, which in essence should be effortless and relaxing, and thus a personal choice.
The second weakness is the author's negligence in accounting for the benefits of a consumerist economy. Increased spending and a healthy buying attitude can be positive factors in bolstering an unstable economy. If Americans were to follow the author's advice without considering all its repercussions, they could possibly face unforeseen effects on the economy, which could cascade into an inhibited educational, personal and communal development in general.
Therefore, my opinion of the author's argument is that even though the statistical foundations may be accurate, the recommendations are unjustified and require further examination. The author would do well to specify what exactly he/she suggests that Americans should replace their leisure time with, and to elaborate on the effects of a buying attitude.
