please rate my first perspective on Issue essay

This topic has expert replies
Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2010 12:25 am
Hello guys. This is my first essay and I know, it has many problems. However, I am eager to know my flaws and improve myself. Your ideas will useful for me.

Question:
Leisure time is becoming an increasingly rare commodity, largely because technology has failed to achieve its goals
of improving our efficiency in our daily pursuit.


My essay:

I agree with this statement that nowadays we have less leisure time in comparison with before and I blame technology too. The main goal of technology was convenience, but what are its results now? It disrupts our vacations with ringing tones, breaking family relations, haste life, anxious and finally, addiction to virtual life and environment.

Assume after a while you have gotten a vacation in beautiful rural place. You are enjoying peace, silence, and pretty scenery; suddenly your phone cell is ringing. Who is he? No! He is your boss and apologizes about destroying your vacation, however he asks questions and wants you to come back as soon as possible due to some problems which they have at work. Magic of technology! Everywhere you are accessible; it is a motto of many telecommunication companies. Nevertheless, it destroyed your vacation at all.

Improving speed is another popular feature of technology. It is interesting when you can do a lot of works in a few seconds; basically, we should have more leisure time than past, but we do not have. How much we do our jobs faster, more unsolved problems reveal. So, it means speed does not improve our lives. In addition, because of speed of technology, we are in a hurry always. We cannot enjoy our food. We only chew and swallow it. Technology has changed us to impatient creatures who cannot tolerate ourselves.

Finally, Technology causes addiction. I know many people who forget to have dinner and sit down in front of their computer and surf the Internet. They cannot live without Facebook or Twitter. It is real disaster. They live in a virtual world and have forgotten their family, friends and even real pastimes. Eventually, it causes depression and anxious.

In spite of, advantages that technology has given us. I believe its drawbacks are more dangerous and harmful for human society than its advantages. Human beings need movement, enjoyment, social relationship and calmness. At the moment technology has taken all of these good things. Instead, it has given, hurry, anxious, loneliness and anger.

thanks,
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

• Page 1 of 1