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felix.arnim
- Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2010 3:08 pm
Hi everybody,
could someone please give me short feedback or score on my essays? Those are my first and I am completely swimming whether they are ok ....
Thank you so much, Felix
ANALYSE ISSUE
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a medical journal:
"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
RESPONSE:
The author of the argument to be discussed hereafter writes about the reasons for bad nutrition, which he says to have caused the increase of diabetes cases of adults during the past decade. He blames the governement for taking not action against the poor nutrition among the elder population. The agrumentation is weak because he does not take the people themselves into responsibility and take a too narrow view on nutrition in general.
First of all, the passage states that the government does not secure the quality of food available at low prices. However, he does not take into account that higher quality always demands higher prices. The government is not able to take control over the people's decision, what to buy in a supermarket. Furthermore, the author cites that food manufacturers should increase the share of minerals and vitamins within their products. Although this would be a very good approach to make food healthier in general, it would not necessarily decrease the number of diabetes cases. Diabetes is said to be caused by poor nutrition, but that includes not only less vitamins and minerals, but also too much fat and sugar for example.
Finally it has to be said that the argument about this severe issue would be much stronger, if the author would support his opinion with information about healthier nutrition in general, which could be provided by the government.
ANALYSE ARGUEMENT
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Companies should be prohibited from monitoring e-mail correspondence of their employees, since this policy destroys the atmosphere of trust and undermines employee morale."
From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
RESPONSE:
Due to the developments over the past years email correspondance has become the most important way of communication, not only within companies companies, but also for a lot of people in their private lives. An increasing number of companies are scanning their employees emails, but this does in fact undermine the relation of trust between the company and its employees as well as the employees' morale.
There are two main reasons for companies to take controll over the emails being send from their employees. First of all, there are confidential files that the companies do not want to be seen outside the comapny. Within the the trading house I am working for at the moment, there are several files containing all positions of every product that is part of the portfolio. Such files show the risk exposure of the whole company, which is very sensitive information in the trading business. But such files are being protected by the IT-department and there is no chance to send them outside of the company's network. This shows that sensitive information can be protected, so that emloyees' emails to not have to be checked as whether confidential files are sent out.
The second reason for companies to restrict and scan emails, is the fact that they do not want their employees to waste the time they are paid for, with doing private things. If employees were allowed to deal with and organise private issues during office hours, they would in fact be able to work longer hours, because they could stay in the office longer and not have to leave early to get things organised still during office hours. If companies would take this into account, they would realise that it would be an advantage for them and lead to higher motivation and thus to more productivit of their employees.
could someone please give me short feedback or score on my essays? Those are my first and I am completely swimming whether they are ok ....
Thank you so much, Felix
ANALYSE ISSUE
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a medical journal:
"The major increase in new cases of adult-onset diabetes during the past decade is the result of poor nutrition, which is itself the result of a lack of government control over the quality of foods available at low prices. If the government placed more emphasis on proper nutrition by requiring that food manufacturers include more vitamins and minerals in their products, the rate of adult-onset diabetes would be reduced significantly."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
RESPONSE:
The author of the argument to be discussed hereafter writes about the reasons for bad nutrition, which he says to have caused the increase of diabetes cases of adults during the past decade. He blames the governement for taking not action against the poor nutrition among the elder population. The agrumentation is weak because he does not take the people themselves into responsibility and take a too narrow view on nutrition in general.
First of all, the passage states that the government does not secure the quality of food available at low prices. However, he does not take into account that higher quality always demands higher prices. The government is not able to take control over the people's decision, what to buy in a supermarket. Furthermore, the author cites that food manufacturers should increase the share of minerals and vitamins within their products. Although this would be a very good approach to make food healthier in general, it would not necessarily decrease the number of diabetes cases. Diabetes is said to be caused by poor nutrition, but that includes not only less vitamins and minerals, but also too much fat and sugar for example.
Finally it has to be said that the argument about this severe issue would be much stronger, if the author would support his opinion with information about healthier nutrition in general, which could be provided by the government.
ANALYSE ARGUEMENT
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Companies should be prohibited from monitoring e-mail correspondence of their employees, since this policy destroys the atmosphere of trust and undermines employee morale."
From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
RESPONSE:
Due to the developments over the past years email correspondance has become the most important way of communication, not only within companies companies, but also for a lot of people in their private lives. An increasing number of companies are scanning their employees emails, but this does in fact undermine the relation of trust between the company and its employees as well as the employees' morale.
There are two main reasons for companies to take controll over the emails being send from their employees. First of all, there are confidential files that the companies do not want to be seen outside the comapny. Within the the trading house I am working for at the moment, there are several files containing all positions of every product that is part of the portfolio. Such files show the risk exposure of the whole company, which is very sensitive information in the trading business. But such files are being protected by the IT-department and there is no chance to send them outside of the company's network. This shows that sensitive information can be protected, so that emloyees' emails to not have to be checked as whether confidential files are sent out.
The second reason for companies to restrict and scan emails, is the fact that they do not want their employees to waste the time they are paid for, with doing private things. If employees were allowed to deal with and organise private issues during office hours, they would in fact be able to work longer hours, because they could stay in the office longer and not have to leave early to get things organised still during office hours. If companies would take this into account, they would realise that it would be an advantage for them and lead to higher motivation and thus to more productivit of their employees.
