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Heightened land erosion

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Heightened land erosion

by OGMATTERS » Sat Nov 14, 2009 9:57 am
Heightened land erosion

Heightened land erosion, caused by human activity, has many negative effects including the following: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, imbalance of the fish population, and the introduction of harmful chemicals to the ocean's environment.


A) including the following: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, imbalance of the fish population, and the introduction of harmful chemicals to the ocean's environment.

B) including: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, imbalance of the fish population, and harmful chemicals entering the ocean's environment.

C) including: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, imbalance of the fish population, and the introduction of harmful chemicals to the ocean's environment.

D) including the following: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, imbalance of the fish population, and harmful chemicals entering the ocean's environment.

E) including the following: algae blooms, coral reef destruction, certain fish populations rising, certain fish populations falling, and the introduction of harmful chemicals to the ocean's environment.

Can someone please provide an OA or clear explanation of the correct answer?
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is it

by brick2009 » Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:40 pm
B

including the following is wordy.. including will be concise ..
so between B and C

C: "introduction of xxx" is unnecessary

B:is concise and clear
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by hitmewithgmat » Sat Nov 14, 2009 5:09 pm
IMO is A.

We need "following" after the including. Therefore B and C are out. (if "following" is not followed, the sentence seems incomplete-it's my thought, though)

Between D and E,
D-..."harmful chemicals entering..." is unparell to others. (X, Y, and Z. XYZ are parallel)
E-distorts the meaning(no need to use "certain")

However,
A) is beautifully parallel each other (X,Y, and Z)
and (A) uses "including the following" lovely.

Hope this helps.
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by jaroth04 » Sat Nov 14, 2009 6:40 pm
IMO, "the following" doesn't add anything to the sentence and is unnecessarily verbose.

That leaves B and C.

It seems to me that the verb form "entering" doesn't agree with the rest of the sentence.

I would probably say C, though this one is tricky -- I'm curious if anyone has the OA and an explanation?
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by haptas » Sat Nov 14, 2009 9:02 pm
the use of punctuation ":" after "including" is wrong. So B and c are out. only A keeps the parallelism
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found official answer

by OGMATTERS » Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:24 am
a

This sentence is correct as is because all of the items in the list are parallel form. Each of the items is a noun that names a harmful effect of land erosion. The construction of the list is also correct. The noun following, which immediately precedes the list, correctly renames the items in the series.

1. This sentence is correct as is because all of the items in the list are in parallel form. The construction of the list is also correct. The noun following, which immediately precedes the list, correctly renames the items in the series.
2. The construction of the list in this sentence is incorrect. In a list, the word immediately preceding the colon should rename the items found in the list. Including does not rename the items in the list. The items in the series are not in parallel form. All of the items in the series are nouns, with the exception of harmful chemicals entering the ocean's environment, which is an absolute phrase. In order for the structure to be parallel, the last item must be in the form of a noun as well.
3. The construction of the list in this sentence is incorrect. In a list, the word immediately preceding the colon should rename the items found in the list. Including does not rename the items in the list.
4. The items in the series are not in parallel form. All of the items in the series are nouns, with the exception of harmful chemicals entering the ocean's environment, which is an absolute phrase. In order for the structure to be parallel, the last item must be in the form of a noun as well.
5. The items in the series are not in a parallel form. With the exception of certain fish populations rising and certain fish populations falling, which are absolute phrases, all of the items in the series are nouns. The absolutes also make the sentence longer and wordier than necessary.

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by tanviet » Thu Nov 26, 2009 3:46 am
check grammar, no grammar error.

check meaning, style(conciseness)

elements must parallel structurally and logically (in form and in meaning)

boom, imbalance, destruction, introduction are parallel .all are nouns referring to an action

boom is not parallel to chemical or population which are noun referring to entities

"there is question "fluctuation, tilting" in gmat prep, similar to this question. pls,review this.

"including following" is redundant. C is correct
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