My first - Analysis of an issue

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My first - Analysis of an issue

by vineetbatra » Sat Jul 04, 2009 12:41 pm
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Individuals living in capitalist economies suffer a higher degree of personal risk than in other types of economies. Creating regulations that protect a society can’t help but interfere with free market forces, a basic tenet of capitalism."

From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
Most of the countries today have adopted capitalist economy allowing free market forces to work, this has indeed worked wonders for the growth of several nations, however an economy without any rules and regulations can be dangerous and should be controlled.

As mentioned above, most of the nations have adopted capitalist economy this is because a capitalist ecomomy drives innovation and motivation to achieve the highest availabale. It also enables creative freedom, more resarch and development and eventually a higher GDP and standard of living for its citizens.

India had been protected against free market with lots of regulations, however in 1991 several of the regulations were curtailed leading to a phenomenal growth in GDP, increase in Per Capita Income and also standard of living of her's citizens.

This being said, a market without any regulations can be disastrous if some use it for their own benefit. Just last year in 2008, we saw a worldwide meltdown of the stockmarkets because lack of regulations on Credit Default Swaps. This lead to bankuraptcy of some of the biggest banks in the world, along with bringing a Iceland to bankuraptcy. This also resulted in a drastically diminishing tha value of the 401K's of several citizens in the US, the only savings of several citizens of the country.


Besides this, some of the necessary itms should be regulated by the government. If we take the example of medical industry in the US, per a recent study, almost 50 million people in the US do not carry any insurance and it is because of the medical bills that the majority of the bankuraptcies are declared in the US. On the other hand coutries like Canada or the UK, that are also capitalist have regulated their medical industry.

I would like to conclude that, we have observed the benefits of the Capitalist economy which does help a country to grow, but also the perils if the same economy if it is not regulated. In other words free economy without any regulations is like a society without any police.
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by Stacey Koprince » Tue Jul 07, 2009 8:37 am
Received a PM asking me to respond.

I will give you some quick feedback, but FYI, I'm actually not supposed to analyze essays. I have only 8 hours a month to spend on BTG, and I'm supposed to spend it answering questions that will help the greatest possible number of people. A single essay can take 20-30 minutes to analyze fully, and the analysis mostly only helps the one person who wrote the essays. As a result, we decided a long time ago to avoid doing in-depth analysis of essays.

There are grammar, spelling, and syntax errors; obviously those need to be fixed, but I'll concentrate on the big picture for my post.

The first two paragraphs say similar things; they could be collapsed into one paragraph. It's a good idea to introduce, in the first paragraph, the examples you're going to use later on. Don't get into the whole discussion - just introduce.

You have a clear thesis and summarize that thesis at the end - good. Keep doing that. You also acknowledge the "other side" of the argument - again, good.

In terms of your body paragraphs, you have specific examples, but they could use a bit more detail / fleshing out. For instance, your first example paragraph is only one sentence. Explain what one or two of the regulations were and how curtailing those regulations raised GDP, etc, in India. An example paragraph ideally should have 4-5 sentences, providing enough detail to understand the example and its relevance to your thesis.
Please note: I do not use the Private Messaging system! I will not see any PMs that you send to me!!

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by vineetbatra » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:45 am
Hello Stacey,

Thanks again for the feedback, your quick feedback is quiet detailed for me. Really appreciate it.

Thanks,

Vineet

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