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help needed

by johnkkim » Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:14 pm
Hello, which of the following sentence makes more sense?

1. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language as a young child.

OR

2. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language.

Please let me know if Sentence #1 sounds wordy/redundant.

Thanks!
John
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Re: help needed

by thetrystero » Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:42 pm
johnkkim wrote:Hello, which of the following sentence makes more sense?

1. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language as a young child.

OR

2. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language.

Please let me know if Sentence #1 sounds wordy/redundant.

Thanks!
John
It depends on the meaning you're trying to get at. To me, the two sentences both sound correct but have different meanings.

(2) says that tackling a new language is universally a difficult task, regardless of your age.

(1) says that in addition to the challenge of learning a new language, you had the added difficulty of learning it as a young child (which I think is the opposite in reality, but I digress).

What's the context? Is this a GMAT question or are you using it in your essay?

"new foreign language" sounds redundant to me. I think that "foreign language" together with the notion of immigration is enough to convey the message that you're not already a speaker of the language.
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by johnkkim » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:02 pm
thanks for the help.
yes this is for the AWA essay, i should've posted it on that section.
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Re: help needed

by goelmohit2002 » Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:30 pm
johnkkim wrote:Hello, which of the following sentence makes more sense?

1. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language as a young child.

OR

2. When my family first immigrated to the US, I was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language.

Please let me know if Sentence #1 sounds wordy/redundant.

Thanks!
John
IMO in "1" there is modifier problem....."as a young child" modifies language...which is incorrect....

IMO 1 should have been sth like "When my family first immigrated to the US, I, as a young child, was faced with the challenge of tackling a new foreign language."

Sentence #2 looks correct to me.
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