UCLA Anderson Essay Question #1 question.

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hallie530: Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts; Posts: 5; Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 8:08 pmFollowed by: 3 members; Thanked: 6 times

by hallie530 » Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:36 pm

What event or life experience has had the greatest influence in shaping your character and why?

I was thinking about responding to this question with a philosophical statement that was shared with me by a family member. It definitely shaped my character. But does that count as a life experience? Is the experience the relationship I had with that person? I can give specific examples about how the philosophical thought shaped my life, but can you call that an experience?

I appreciate help!

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Source: Beat The GMAT — The Application Process | Sun Oct 02, 2011 4:36 pm

essaysnark: Legendary Member; Posts: 795; Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:41 amFollowed by: 85 members; Thanked: 177 times

by essaysnark » Sun Oct 02, 2011 11:25 pm

Hi hallie530--

We're a little doubtful that a philosophical statement will adequately convey what the Anderson adcom is looking for with this question. Typically, the best stories to present for this type of essay are ones that really do focus in on a specific event or episode from your life -- usually one of extended duration, not just something that happened on a single day. For most of us, it's the challenging things -- often the really bad stuff -- that makes us change and transform. Those are usually the easiest to write about! But you certainly don't need to feel limited to just the difficult phases, you could explore something much more positive, too. No matter what though, you should be able to show a "before" picture, by somehow describing what you were like or how you thought about stuff or what type of decisions you made, then explain the "life experience" and do a specific section of the essay around how you're different because of it.

Sometimes people talk about their parents getting divorced or maybe a layoff as a result of the economic crisis, or a very difficult decision they had to make - there are lots of ways to handle it. Just be careful of TMI - you don't want to necessarily go too personal here. (We've got a couple posts on TMI on our blog: https://essaysnark.blocked/2010/11/ ... ating.html )

If you can literally show how this philosophical statement shaped you, then you should go with it and write it up - but it's often pretty tricky to pull off unless it's a direct response to the literal question that they're asking, and this seems like it's not quite on target.

Best of luck!!
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Kaneisha Grayson: MBA Admissions Consultant; Posts: 213; Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:15 amFollowed by: 31 members; Location: Austin, TX; Thanked: 44 times; GMAT Score:620

by Kaneisha Grayson » Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:22 am

Hi Hallie,

EssaySnark gave you some great advice, and I agree with all of it. I would add that rather than focusing in on the philosophical statement that your family member said to you, you could discuss the life experience that prompted the family member to share this statement with you. You were obviously going through something difficult, seeking guidance, or somehow seeming lost somehow, and this family member took the time to share a thought with you which eventually catalyzed a change in you. Perhaps you have a great essay in writing about whatever that situation was. This way, you are still addressing the prompt and getting to write about something that is obviously important to you.

Good luck!
Kaneisha

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hallie530: Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts; Posts: 5; Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 8:08 pmFollowed by: 3 members; Thanked: 6 times

by hallie530 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:28 am

Great tips! Big thanks to both of you for responding. I will continue working on this one. Good thing Anderson's 1st round isn't until Oct 26th

I have two essays written. One is a specific "life experience" but I worry I spent too much time describing the experience and not enough time explaining what I learned. The other, this philosophy-type statement shared with me by a family member, had much more influence on my character and I think the essay I wrote does more to describe me.... but as I mentioned above, it isn't a "life experience."

Maybe I could describe the moment I first had this interaction with my family member. Why the moment came about, discuss the specific experience, and share how it changed my life.

Still trying to decide.

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essaysnark: Legendary Member; Posts: 795; Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:41 amFollowed by: 85 members; Thanked: 177 times

by essaysnark » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:51 am

Hey hallie530 - at least you are ahead of the game by having two different drafts written out!!

We've got a post up today about pretty much this exact question - this is an essay critique for Columbia's essay 2, about a "life experience that has shaped you" - maybe this review will help?

https://essaysnark.blocked/2011/10/ ... -life.html

(You could always send over your 'philosophical' one if you are up for a free - though public! - review on the blog - we remove identifying info before we post, though if it's a very personal subject you may not be comfortable with it.)

Good luck!

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throughmba: Legendary Member; Posts: 510; Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:15 amFollowed by: 22 members; Location: London; Thanked: 122 times

by throughmba » Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:43 am

I am a great fan of establishing connection with the reader. I find myself supporting every word of what comes later if I am sold to the words at start. I like being impactful and I have seen persuasion, philosophy as tools of making impact.

Making a quote or a philosophical statement is a type of pitch(its like setting a high tone) which you are making. Now, making an impact like this is good though denied by some, the way it connects after that quote matters much more than quote itself.

I would not say start with the philosophical statement or not, if you can make the rest of it connect then its worth the shot. Philosophical comments may seem trivial. Trivial can become brilliant.

Concentrate on the overall theme of the story and do whatever it takes to make it look good. "Given the choice between trivial material brilliantly told versus profound material badly told, an audience will always choose the trivial told brilliantly."

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hallie530: Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts; Posts: 5; Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 8:08 pmFollowed by: 3 members; Thanked: 6 times

by hallie530 » Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:26 pm

Thank you! Again - some great responses. So nice to have a forum like BTG as I navigate through this process.

EssaySnark.... I am now subscribed to your blog. Thank you!

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Lalit_P: Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts; Posts: 3; Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:12 pmFollowed by: 1 member; Thanked: 1 times

by Lalit_P » Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:19 pm

Hi, I did a double-take when I saw your first post because I thought the essay question was slightly different. So, I went back and checked and the question is:
What events or people have had the greatest influence in shaping your character and why?

This gives you a lot more flexibility in answering the question IMHO. It's a lot more difficult to use one story to show various sides of your personality. I plan to use around three that show various facets of my "brand". I'm curious, was this last year's question?

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essaysnark: Legendary Member; Posts: 795; Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:41 amFollowed by: 85 members; Thanked: 177 times

by essaysnark » Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:30 pm

Lalit_P, good catch - thanks for noting that!! Yes, we had been working off of last year's question in this thread (we just went back and checked). That small change to this year's version really does help, doesn't it? And, because it's a longer essay, you can easily pull off a strategy like you're suggesting, using multiple stories to answer it (some schools are asking for "life experiences" etc but only giving 500 words - that can be trickier for sure). Great suggestion on that strategy, that should work well for you - love the 'brand' thing that you're focusing on! And thanks so much for correcting us on the thread!!

Hallie530, also glad to hear you're finding value with the blog! If you have any questions that we might be able to help with, would love to hear.

EssaySnark

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PrepMBA.AlexLeventhal: Master | Next Rank: 500 Posts; Posts: 288; Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:23 amFollowed by: 11 members; Location: Los Angeles/NY; Thanked: 58 times

by PrepMBA.AlexLeventhal » Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:05 pm

Keep in mind, all you applicants, that the question prompt has a plural, events or people, so you are not limited to only one influence/story. Of course there is only room for a few if you choose to pursue multiple stories. Less (with supporting detail) is always more with the essays.

Alex Leventhal
Harvard MBA, 1998
Prep MBA Admissions Consulting
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ls413: Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts; Posts: 18; Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:26 pmFollowed by: 4 members

by ls413 » Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:14 pm

Do you think it is necessary to interpret this question literally and discuss multiple events or people? There is one event that took place in my life that is particularly significant, and it changed me over several years. I think that my essay would only be diluted if I then tried to incorporate another unrelated example. Any thoughts?

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PrepMBA.AlexLeventhal: Master | Next Rank: 500 Posts; Posts: 288; Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 10:23 amFollowed by: 11 members; Location: Los Angeles/NY; Thanked: 58 times

by PrepMBA.AlexLeventhal » Wed Oct 19, 2011 7:23 pm

There is no set rule. If you feel your one example is truly powerful enough, then go for it. Just keep in mind that you are trying to show a breadth of experiences, and trying to fit into the application a set of key stories. I have helped many clients fit multiple examples into essays without diluting the power of your lead story. And remember that the themes do not need to be related in an essay like this. The truth is we all have multiple things that have marked us---parents, mentors, health issues, revelations, losing weight, an undergraduate culture, significant others....and all of these and more are fair game in this type of essay. In summary, it's your choice and yes I have seen similar essays with one theme/example.

Alex

Alex Leventhal
Harvard MBA, 1998
Prep MBA Admissions Consulting
www.prepmba.com
[email protected]
(323)424.3178

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throughmba: Legendary Member; Posts: 510; Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:15 amFollowed by: 22 members; Location: London; Thanked: 122 times

by throughmba » Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:21 pm

ls413 wrote:Do you think it is necessary to interpret this question literally and discuss multiple events or people? There is one event that took place in my life that is particularly significant, and it changed me over several years. I think that my essay would only be diluted if I then tried to incorporate another unrelated example. Any thoughts?

Exactly what I wanted to convey. Dont convey other points. I dont think you will find less words to explain your point, you dont even need to. Explain one point and analyse it and tell how it changed you.

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