Analysis of an Issue: can you please rate?

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Analysis of an Issue: can you please rate?

by emalby » Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:03 am
"How far should a supervisor go in criticizing the performance of a subordinate? Some highly successful managers have been known to rely on verbal abuse and intimidation. Do you think that this is an effective means of communicating expectations? If not, what alternative should manager use in dealing with someone whose work is less than satisfactory?"

Explain your views on this issue. Be sure to support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


How far should a supervisor go in criticizing the performance of a subordinate? And is there an alternative in dealing with someone whose work is not satisfactory? In this discussion I shall present arguments in favour of a constructive approach to deal with poor performance of a subordinate other than a critical one.

First, studies show that in the long term criticizing low performance subordinates does not drive a performance culture. In particular if crtitics are not followed by praises when the performance is in line with or higher than expectations. In fact, the negative approach usually worsen the performance of the employees; a more beneficial approach consists in praising the subordinate when he or she performs and encouraging him or her when the performance is not acceptable.

Second, even though criticizing can provide some positive benefits in the short term, it has detrimental effects in the long term. I have experienced this in my job where I could see how some colleagues at the beginning reacted positively to critics from their manager by showing more commitment. However, these critics in the long term undermined their confidence and impacted in a negative way their performance.

Some may argue that some highly successful managers have been know to rely on verbal abuse and intimidation to address low performance subordinates. However, these cases should be investigated one by one since exceptions are always possible. For example, in a situation where the job market is down, the fear of losing job may drive the employees to work harder when criticized.

In conclusion, criticizing subordinates to drive performance is a short term strategy that has detrimental effect in the long run. On the contrary, performance is driven by praising employees when they do a good job and by encouraging them when the result is below expectations.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by VivianKerr » Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:42 am
Hi Emalby,

Nice paragraphing and great organization. You are following a template and it shows, and your English skills are strong! You really understand the prompt.

Here's a few notes that might help you.

Intro: Don't use rhetorical questions to re-state the prompt. IMO, it's a weak opening because it doesn't offer any kind of new perspective. Try to get creative with your openings. Use something from your own life, a quote, a general musing on the topic, or even just a general statement about the abstract concept, but I'd avoid questions.

Also avoid unnecessary personal reference like "In this discussion...." The goal should be to make a stand-alone essay, one that could be published without anyone knowing it was written for a GMAT prompt. Your thesis needs to be a strong, declarative statement. A strong thesis may or may not include your examples. A simple thesis would be something like, "Fear-based motivation in the workplace is never an effective tool." Notice how I re-used the keyword "effective" from the prompt.

Body Paragraphs: "Studies show..." What studies? Can you name one? Otherwise you risk sounding vague. Using your own life as an example in the 2nd body paragraph is a GREAT idea, but you need to be specific. What is your job? Who are your colleagues? Can you show a specific incident where positive critiques = more commitment? Practice replacing generalities with concrete nouns. Answer the questions: who? what? when? where? why? Don't be afraid of giving too much concrete information.

Excellent job using the opposing point of view and refuting it! Nice technique. But again, I'd like you to be even more specific about the "situation where the job market is down."

Conclusion: Succinct and well-phrased.

I'd practice coming up with more specific examples. Try listing examples with which you are already familiar by different category: Literature, Film, Music, News, Politics, Personal Experience, Sports, etc. It will help you "stockpile" examples, so that you have a mental list you can scan on test day.

This is a great start, emalby! Good luck!
Vivian Kerr
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Former Kaplan and Grockit instructor, freelance GMAT content creator, now offering affordable, effective, Skype-tutoring for the GMAT at $150/hr. Contact: [email protected]

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