Can anyone please review my essay and let me know the opinion. I am from non English speaking background and don't have great expectations to score in AWA but I should get at least 4 in AWA.
Thanks in advance.
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a human resources magazine:
"Six months ago, in an experiment aimed at boosting worker productivity, Company Z started providing free gourmet lunches to its employees. The Company hoped that these office lunches would encourage employees to remain in the building during lunch-hour and motivate employees to work harder throughout the day. A survey found that soon after the lunch program was implemented, the average number of hours worked by most Company Z employees increased dramatically. During this same period, the Company's profits also increased substantially. Thus, it is safe to say that the lunch program was a huge success and that Company Z should make the program permanent."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
MY RESPONSE:
Recommendation in this argument is that company Z should give free lunches to its employees. Reasons cited are employees started working more hours and during same time company's profit increased drastically. This argument is unconvincing for couple of reasons.
First of all author assumes that workers started working for more hours only because of free lunches provided by company. However, author overlooks other factors which might have been contributed in increase in worker's productivity. For example, company might have started giving attractive bonuses for well performers or company might have started flexible work hours. There can be many more reasons for why workers started working for more hours.
Even if we assume that worker's started working more hours due to free lunches, another assumption author makes is company's profit has increased substantially due to more working hours by workers. This relationship is not convincing because there can be other reasons for increase in profit. May be market demand might have increased or other provider might have been shut down and company z might have become one of few companies to provide service. All this can result in to increase in profit. Even, increase in demand might have forced workers to work more hours.
Thus, the argument is not completely sound. Relationship between workers working long hours and increase in profit does little to help the conclusion. Argument might have been strengthen by giving more evidences that workers started working more hours due to free lunches and that was the reason for increase in profit.
Thanks in advance.
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a human resources magazine:
"Six months ago, in an experiment aimed at boosting worker productivity, Company Z started providing free gourmet lunches to its employees. The Company hoped that these office lunches would encourage employees to remain in the building during lunch-hour and motivate employees to work harder throughout the day. A survey found that soon after the lunch program was implemented, the average number of hours worked by most Company Z employees increased dramatically. During this same period, the Company's profits also increased substantially. Thus, it is safe to say that the lunch program was a huge success and that Company Z should make the program permanent."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
MY RESPONSE:
Recommendation in this argument is that company Z should give free lunches to its employees. Reasons cited are employees started working more hours and during same time company's profit increased drastically. This argument is unconvincing for couple of reasons.
First of all author assumes that workers started working for more hours only because of free lunches provided by company. However, author overlooks other factors which might have been contributed in increase in worker's productivity. For example, company might have started giving attractive bonuses for well performers or company might have started flexible work hours. There can be many more reasons for why workers started working for more hours.
Even if we assume that worker's started working more hours due to free lunches, another assumption author makes is company's profit has increased substantially due to more working hours by workers. This relationship is not convincing because there can be other reasons for increase in profit. May be market demand might have increased or other provider might have been shut down and company z might have become one of few companies to provide service. All this can result in to increase in profit. Even, increase in demand might have forced workers to work more hours.
Thus, the argument is not completely sound. Relationship between workers working long hours and increase in profit does little to help the conclusion. Argument might have been strengthen by giving more evidences that workers started working more hours due to free lunches and that was the reason for increase in profit.
