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hedonist123
- Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:00 am
Hey guys,
G-Day is Aug 8th. Just got started on my AWA prep. First essay written keeping the e-rater in mind.
Please rate.
Thanks a lot.
Topic:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department-store products and services, while for the younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer"
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the
argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations
or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument,
what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
Essay:
The argument claims that on an average, middle aged consumers devote a greater percentage of their retail expenditure to department stores as compared to younger consumers. Futhermore, it goes on to claim that since the number of middle aged people is set to increase in the future, department stores can expect the sales to increase significantly. Also, the argument claims that to take advantage of this trend, department stores must replace some of the products intended to attract younger consumers with products intended for middle aged consumers. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated.
First, the author argues that middle aged consumers devote a higher percentage of their retail expenditure to department stores as compared to younger consumers. However, the author has not mentioned any figures regarding the number of middle age and young consumers today. Surely, if the number of younger consumers is greater than the number of middle aged consumers (which is exactly the case!), the above difference in percentages will be offset. As a result, the evidence that the argument so conveniently puts forward is incomplete. Clearly, the argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the number of middle aged and young consumers.
Second, the argument readily assumes that young and middle aged consumers have similar levels of retail expenditures. Surely, middle aged consumers would have other avenues to spend their money. For example, to pay the rent, to feed their family and so on and so forth. So, younger consumers have more free money to spend. The assumption of similar retail expenditures is again weak and unsupported as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the level of retail expenditure and the type of consumer.
Finally, On what basis does the author say that the number of middle aged people will increase dramatically? Are there any population growth statistics to prove this? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of a certain decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, lack of knowledge of the number of target consumers, level of retail expenditures and statistics to justify dramatic growth has left this argument incomplete. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
G-Day is Aug 8th. Just got started on my AWA prep. First essay written keeping the e-rater in mind.
Please rate.
Thanks a lot.
Topic:
"On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department-store products and services, while for the younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer"
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the
argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations
or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument,
what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
Essay:
The argument claims that on an average, middle aged consumers devote a greater percentage of their retail expenditure to department stores as compared to younger consumers. Futhermore, it goes on to claim that since the number of middle aged people is set to increase in the future, department stores can expect the sales to increase significantly. Also, the argument claims that to take advantage of this trend, department stores must replace some of the products intended to attract younger consumers with products intended for middle aged consumers. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated.
First, the author argues that middle aged consumers devote a higher percentage of their retail expenditure to department stores as compared to younger consumers. However, the author has not mentioned any figures regarding the number of middle age and young consumers today. Surely, if the number of younger consumers is greater than the number of middle aged consumers (which is exactly the case!), the above difference in percentages will be offset. As a result, the evidence that the argument so conveniently puts forward is incomplete. Clearly, the argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated the number of middle aged and young consumers.
Second, the argument readily assumes that young and middle aged consumers have similar levels of retail expenditures. Surely, middle aged consumers would have other avenues to spend their money. For example, to pay the rent, to feed their family and so on and so forth. So, younger consumers have more free money to spend. The assumption of similar retail expenditures is again weak and unsupported as the argument does not demonstrate any correlation between the level of retail expenditure and the type of consumer.
Finally, On what basis does the author say that the number of middle aged people will increase dramatically? Are there any population growth statistics to prove this? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of a certain decision, it is essential to have full knowledge of all contributing factors. In this particular case, lack of knowledge of the number of target consumers, level of retail expenditures and statistics to justify dramatic growth has left this argument incomplete. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
