Please rate my Issue essay

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Please rate my Issue essay

by [email protected] » Mon May 30, 2011 9:12 pm
"All citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. Such service would benefit not only the country as a whole but also the individual participants."

My reply

The issue that all citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service is highly controversial and complex. We know that public service not only benefits participants, but also benefits country and community of the participants. I fully agree that citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. I will attempt to present logical support for my opinion.

Singapore is a small country and its population is also very less. In order to survive in modern world, each and every citizen of Singapore needs to work and also protect their country. Thus the government of Singapore made a law that all male citizens have to serve army for 2 years. This is one of the best examples, where citizens are required to perform specified amount of public service. It is required to protect country and it also helps citizens to learn lot about army of Singapore.

Another reason for my view is that if you utilize your free time to serve other needy person, it gives you satisfaction. In India there lot of old age home and older people from different financial and social background come to old age home. Normally old age home is funded by agency, which has lot of money to take care old people. But old people need time from young people. During weekend, many young people go to old age home and talk and play with older people. Thus helping in such manner help participants to be satisfied and it also helps to make our healthy society

Sometime some organization is not fully funded by government. For example, last year our schools in Cupertino city had fewer budgets. In one of the best decision taken by parent was that they will help teachers to manage students. School made the plan and then parent used to come to school to help teachers. As parents need to come to school after every few weeks, parents were also happy about it. In fact, parent got nice exposure about how to manage students and their own child. On other hand, school administration didn't lay off teachers, which helped students as well.

In sum, I agree that all citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. It benefits not only participant, but also country as a whole.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by itsmebharat » Mon May 30, 2011 11:47 pm
Good one, you could have add more lines at the end to state your point of view. but anyways, it was a nice structured passage..
I am not an Expert, please feel free to suggest if there is an error.

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by ArpanaAmishi » Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:46 am
[email protected] wrote:"All citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. Such service would benefit not only the country as a whole but also the individual participants."

My reply

The issue that all citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service is highly controversial and complex. We know that public service not only benefits participants, but also benefits country and community of the participants. I fully agree that citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. I will attempt to present logical support for my opinion.

Singapore is a small country and its population is also very less. In order to survive in modern world, each and every citizen of Singapore needs to work and also protect their country. Thus the government of Singapore made a law that all male citizens have to serve army for 2 years. This is one of the best examples, where citizens are required to perform specified amount of public service. It is required to protect country and it also helps citizens to learn lot about army of Singapore.

Another reason for my view is that if you utilize your free time to serve other needy person, it gives you satisfaction. In India there lot of old age home and older people from different financial and social background come to old age home. Normally old age home is funded by agency, which has lot of money to take care old people. But old people need time from young people. During weekend, many young people go to old age home and talk and play with older people. Thus helping in such manner help participants to be satisfied and it also helps to make our healthy society

Sometime some organization is not fully funded by government. For example, last year our schools in Cupertino city had fewer budgets. In one of the best decision taken by parent was that they will help teachers to manage students. School made the plan and then parent used to come to school to help teachers. As parents need to come to school after every few weeks, parents were also happy about it. In fact, parent got nice exposure about how to manage students and their own child. On other hand, school administration didn't lay off teachers, which helped students as well.

In sum, I agree that all citizens should be required to perform a specified amount of public service. It benefits not only participant, but also country as a whole.

I am not an expert in this area, so please excuse me If I am out of ignorant of any point. Here is my response on this.

1. Second last para doesn't comeout well (at least for me)
2. Lack of Transition words - I think we should use them as E-rater looks for these

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