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i am too bad in essay writing.... plz plz rate it .........

Expert replies
by simmi1990 » Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:36 pm
Chemists have determined that spring water from Augusta, Maine contains minerals necessary for a healthy body. Residents of Augusta, Maine, have a longer life span than the average U.S. citizen. Even though spring water from Augusta, Maine may be expensive, it is a superior choice over drinking general tap water.

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better
evaluate its conclusion.

in the preceding statement , the author claims that the water from the augusta
in spring has more and beneficial minerals and that minerals necessary for
human body. though his claim may well have merit , the author presents a
poorly reasoned argument , based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence offers, we can not accept this
argument as valid.
the primary issue with the authors reasoning lies in unsubstantial premises.
in this argument , no proper evidence whether the mineral water tested from a
particular augusta river or lake which has abundant of minerals . may be the
same test is held on other lakes of same augusta maine does not match the
proper mineral level. the author's premises, the basis for his argument , lack
any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.
in addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven that
mineral is not only the main thing which helps in long life of citizens but also
many other factors are importance as fresh air , good environment and good
living habits which helps in long life of people. so residents of augusta have
long life span due to other factors also. the author weakens his argument by
making assumptions and falling to provide explication of the links between life
long span with only minerals.
in sum, the author,s illogical argument is based on unsupported premises
and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid .not only
minerals can not give a long life span to people but also many other factors
are important.if the author truly hopes to change his renders minds on the
issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument , fix the flaws in his
logic , clearly explicit his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support without
these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
Join the discussion
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by ashokkadam » Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:49 am
I would rate this essay 4 or 4.5

The essay can me much better if you can split the middle paragraph into smaller paragraphs, making the essay more clear and structurally strong, elaborate the points with more analysis and forcefully attacking the argument. In the concluding paragraph, you might want to include a couple of statements mentioning how the argument could be strengthened as well.
simmi1990 wrote:Chemists have determined that spring water from Augusta, Maine contains minerals necessary for a healthy body. Residents of Augusta, Maine, have a longer life span than the average U.S. citizen. Even though spring water from Augusta, Maine may be expensive, it is a superior choice over drinking general tap water.

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better
evaluate its conclusion.

in the preceding statement , the author claims that the water from the augusta
in spring has more and beneficial minerals and that minerals necessary for
human body. though his claim may well have merit , the author presents a
poorly reasoned argument , based on several questionable premises and assumptions, and based solely on the evidence offers, we can not accept this
argument as valid.
the primary issue with the authors reasoning lies in unsubstantial premises.
in this argument , no proper evidence whether the mineral water tested from a
particular augusta river or lake which has abundant of minerals . may be the
same test is held on other lakes of same augusta maine does not match the
proper mineral level. the author's premises, the basis for his argument , lack
any legitimate evidentiary support and render his conclusion unacceptable.
in addition, the author makes several assumptions that remain unproven that
mineral is not only the main thing which helps in long life of citizens but also
many other factors are importance as fresh air , good environment and good
living habits which helps in long life of people. so residents of augusta have
long life span due to other factors also. the author weakens his argument by
making assumptions and falling to provide explication of the links between life
long span with only minerals.
in sum, the author,s illogical argument is based on unsupported premises
and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid .not only
minerals can not give a long life span to people but also many other factors
are important.if the author truly hopes to change his renders minds on the
issue, he would have to largely restructure his argument , fix the flaws in his
logic , clearly explicit his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support without
these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
Force and mind are opposites; morality ends where a gun begins.
Join the discussion

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