Please review my argument essay

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Please review my argument essay

by kingkhan » Sun Sep 05, 2010 5:24 am
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a human resources magazine:

"Six months ago, in an experiment aimed at boosting worker productivity, Company Z started providing free gourmet lunches to its employees. The Company hoped that these office lunches would encourage employees to remain in the building during lunch-hour and motivate employees to work harder throughout the day. A survey found that soon after the lunch program was implemented, the average number of hours worked by most Company Z employees increased dramatically. During this same period, the Company's profits also increased substantially. Thus, it is safe to say that the lunch program was a huge success and that Company Z should make the program permanent."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.


YOUR RESPONSE:
In today's competitive arena, every Company looks forward to incorporate certain strategies to increase productivity. One of those strategies is to enhance employee satisfaction. There could be several ways to deal with this. As stated above, Company Z chose to provide feree gourmet lunches.
Though the argument says idea helped in increasing profits, I would disagree that the free lunch was the sole reason behind it.

There are several factors that could assist in increasing the company's profits. Reliance industries which is one of the top companies in the world, has solely depended on customer satisfaction to increase its profits. The CEO declared that we have hundreds of employees moving in and out in the last 1 year and that inspite of this, the company was able to hold its profits share in the market. This turns to be a striking example to invalidate the author's argument.

Let us look at the strategy applied by company Z to increase its profits - provision of free gourmet lunches. The recent survey of food lovers showed that people tend to eat more when they are out in a party or buffet which is free. This proves that the employees tend to eat more at the office. Moreover, It has been scientifically proved that the more we eat, the more we tend to sleep in a en effort to digest the food. Hence, from these 2 solid premises, we can make out that the employees of company Z will tend to sleeep more. The more one tends to sleep, the lower is his/her productivity.
Therefore, from a logical stand-point, free lunch cannot be the only reason for increased profits.

There is aslo a financial burden to company Z in trying to cope up with free lunches. We have already discussed that Employees tend to eat more when they are in free lunches. Company will need to bear the complete cost of the lunch. Whenver, there is dissatisfaction faced by employees due to the variety or quantity of food they eat, it reflects on their work, thus worsening the productivity. Company will need to make an extra effort to make sure that the lunches do not cause dissatisfaction to the employees. This is not the company's primary business and hence should be avoided to the maximum possible extent.

After so many thoughts, on why fodd cannot be the reason, let us see what other factors could have caused the increased sales. During this period,
1. The customer base of the comapny could have increased
2. The cost of the raw material to make the products could have gone down.
3. The marketing campaign could have worked out in favor of the company.
4. The work hours could have increased leading to more productivity.
There could be many more to add to it.

Hence according to me, These reasons make more sense in long term than the program of free lunches.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by Jim@Grockit » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:54 am
Unlike the Issue essay, in which you are supposed to express a definite opinion and support that one viewpoint, the Argument essay is asking for a more balanced approach. The essays in this format will ALWAYS be lacking something, and always have weak arguments; they would be bad essay prompts if they did not. As such, resist the urge to pronounce the argument invalid, and concentrate instead on what would strengthen AND weaken the argument. Imagine you are a consultant, and the CEO has asked you to evaluate this bit of reasoning that he or she is about to give to the shareholders, or to the newspaper. What information might prove that lunches WERE the cause? What might disprove it?

In your essay, you do a good job of listing some other possible causes; in fact, those should have been half of your essay, as those other causes, if true, would have weakened the claim that the lunch program was the cause. Just as with CR Weaken questions, when presented with a causal argument (X caused Y, lunch program caused boost), you can either reverse the causation (Y caused X, boost caused lunch program, not possible here) or find another cause (Z caused Y, lower cost of materials caused the boost in profits). The examples you gave are ok, though none of them address why the employee work hours may have increased, just why productivity or profit may have increased. I admit it's tough -- the only one I could think of in writing this response is that Company Z hit its "busy season", during which employee hours are longer and productivity is higher independent of a lunch program.

Leaving room for inspiration to change the direction of your essays, consider the following Argument Essay format:

Intro: The argument lacks key evidence to support its point, especially in areas X, Y, and Z
Paragraph 1: if we were to find out that X, Y, and Z were positive, then the argument is strengthened and valid
Paragraph 2: if we were to find out that XYZ were negative, it would not be a strong argument
Conclusion: of the missing evidence, X is clearly the most important or likely source for determining how true the argument is, but Y and Z are also important missing information. With it, we would know.

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