Please review my Issue essay

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Please review my Issue essay

by kingkhan » Sun Sep 05, 2010 5:26 am
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Companies should be prohibited from monitoring e-mail correspondence of their employees, since this policy destroys the atmosphere of trust and undermines employee morale."

From your perspective, how accurate is the above statement? Support your position with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
E-mail communication has turned out to be the most effective means of communication in the last two decades. It is beyond doubt that e-mail took over many other modes of communication effectively. It is the easiest means to communicate the thoughts in a short span of time. An old adage goes - Single letter speaks a thousand words. This is certainly true and the advent of e-mail communication boosts its prominence.

The major change in the ways companies work in the last two decades should be atributed to the wide spread use of computers. Now, irrespective of the domain they supply goods for, all companies make use of computers for effective communication and delivery. With this change came the introduction of intranet-email that companies use to communicate internally. Though this is an effective move, it has its own drawbacks. One such drawback is as stated int he issue above.

I would agree that the Companies should be prohibited from monitoring the e-mail correspondence of employees. One strong reason is that it affects the atymosphere and trust of the employees. This could result in a decrease in productivity, which affects profits.

One best-fitting example I would love to quote here is the downfall of Ram Infotech- A well known firm in India. The company was one of the very few companies to make its presence int he software industry much early - around 80's. But I am sure not many would remeber this comapany now - thanks to its unethical policies and ofcourse Recession. This company introduced a new policy to monitor the email communication of all employees. The main Idea was to cut down on the costs - (email companies charge huge amounts for the data flow) and also to ensure non-disclosure of comapny details. The comapny had an excellent, motivated employee base. But, the introduction of this policy spoiled the broth. The comapny terminated couple of employees for not adhering to the e-mail policy. All employees were worried about the move and reduced their email communications. This had an adverse effect on the company as the client's left as there was no proper communication from the employees. The company wanted to revert its policy, but it was too late as the major employee base quit the company.

Hence Companies should adhere to employee satisfaction, educate and motivate them towards non-disclosure policies. This is a very sensitive move and any comapny which doesnt pay careful attention to it would have to suffer like Ram Infotech.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by Jim@Grockit » Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:35 am
You are one of the lucky people to whom words come naturally -- it looks as though you will have no problems writing a full-sounding, complete essay. Your one example is a good and specific one, providing direct support for your clearly-stated position.

Your largest problem, though, is that you wrote a three-paragraph intro(!), a single body paragraph, and a conclusion. Your essay represents a complete thought, it is true, but you are absolutely undercutting your gift for writing by wasting time on an introduction like that. Your third paragraph is really where the essay should start, and actually would be a pretty good intro by itself, since you state your position clearly and allude briefly to the example you're going to give. An extra sentence or two about the importance of the advent of e-mail would be fine; two paragraphs of background is really a waste of time, because it means the majority of your essay is not answering the question.

If you could only think of the one example and didn't know what else to do with your essay, you can always do a separate paragraph rebutting reasoning the opposing view would use (which you mention somewhat in your story about Ram Infotech) or what alternate solutions there are for companies with trade secrets to keep (some block *external* e-mail and websites, but allow free and unmonitored communication internally).

It is absolutely clear you will get an acceptable grade on your essay based on your writing, thinking, and examples -- there just needs to be more focus on those things.

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by kingkhan » Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:44 am
homullus wrote:You are one of the lucky people to whom words come naturally -- it looks as though you will have no problems writing a full-sounding, complete essay. Your one example is a good and specific one, providing direct support for your clearly-stated position.

Your largest problem, though, is that you wrote a three-paragraph intro(!), a single body paragraph, and a conclusion. Your essay represents a complete thought, it is true, but you are absolutely undercutting your gift for writing by wasting time on an introduction like that. Your third paragraph is really where the essay should start, and actually would be a pretty good intro by itself, since you state your position clearly and allude briefly to the example you're going to give. An extra sentence or two about the importance of the advent of e-mail would be fine; two paragraphs of background is really a waste of time, because it means the majority of your essay is not answering the question.

If you could only think of the one example and didn't know what else to do with your essay, you can always do a separate paragraph rebutting reasoning the opposing view would use (which you mention somewhat in your story about Ram Infotech) or what alternate solutions there are for companies with trade secrets to keep (some block *external* e-mail and websites, but allow free and unmonitored communication internally).

It is absolutely clear you will get an acceptable grade on your essay based on your writing, thinking, and examples -- there just needs to be more focus on those things.
Thanks for your guidance Homulus. I am working on my skills now. I think my essay would look better the next time.
May be you will need to review a couple of more essays of mine next week.

Appreciate your help.

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