What to focus on in essays

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What to focus on in essays

by jgrider » Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:42 pm
Dear Stacy/Lisa,

I recently took the gmat and got a 710 (got a 680 1st time around). My undergraduate gpa was a 3.74 from UC Berkeley. I have decided to stick mostly to top the top 10 and was wondering which parts of my background to focus on in the essays.

My concern is whether to focus on many of the non-professional aspects of my application that make me who I am.

Professionally:
I worked for 1.5 years in outside B2B sales for a fortune 1000 payroll hr company. I have since worked 1 year in biotech consulting for a small San Francisco based firm that has many offshore consultants. I was promoted to manager after 2 short months and have managed many teams of MDs and PhDs in India/Brasil.

3 concerns:

1. Both of my recommendations are from my current employer (my sales experience isn't as relevant to my career direction though I did very well). How much should I try include this exp in my essays?

2. My personal experience is very unique. I have been living on my own since 16 due to family struggles. I left the mormon religion because of my sexuality (gay male). I became a Peace and Conflict Studies Major at Cal to sort of find a non-mormon identity. I taught 3rd grade in Ghana, West Africa during college (while studying abroad for 7 months there). I was a captain of my intercollegiate volleyball team. I have been teaching swim lessons to children with cerebral palsy for the past 3 years.

The list goes on but I think the bulk of what I have to say is in the personal section. My only problem is that I don't know how much adcoms are looking for stories related to professional experiences as opposed to personal? Also, is the fact that I have been living on my own since 16 (and still managed to get into a top public school) relevant though it happened 6-10 years ago? (my current boss who went to Kellogg thinks I should emphasize the personal)

3. Can I include full time experience during college in my years of work experience? (worked full-time as a teacher for 6 months and full time as a paralegal for 2 years).

I know this is a lot of information. Any help would be great!
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by Lisa Anderson » Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:54 am
Dear jgrider,

To answer your questions,

1. Both of my recommendations are from my current employer (my sales experience isn't as relevant to my career direction though I did very well). How much should I try include this exp in my essays?
Most schools only want an explanation of recommenders if you do not provide one from your current employer. So, there is no reason to explain why you have not included one from your previous company.

2. My personal experience is very unique...My only problem is that I don't know how much adcoms are looking for stories related to professional experiences as opposed to personal? Also, is the fact that I have been living on my own since 16 (and still managed to get into a top public school) relevant though it happened 6-10 years ago?
It is not a negative to discuss personal experiences as long as those experiences are not negative and directly impacted who you are today. I would suggest picking out a few things from your personal experiences to write about as opposed to giving a bio in your essays. For example, use a story from your time in Africa or teaching swimming to illustrate a point in an essay. Be careful not to ignore professional examples though--your essays should reflect those as well.

3. Can I include full time experience during college in my years of work experience? (worked full-time as a teacher for 6 months and full time as a paralegal for 2 years).
No. Work experience, in the sense of what you report on your applications, is defined as professional, full-time work after you graduate. Your work during school is important and part of the evaluation, but is not counted in the number of years as reported per admissions reporting standards.

Best of luck,
Lisa
Lisa Anderson
Consultant
Stacy Blackman Consulting

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