Sentence Correction

According to United States census data, while there was about one-third
of mothers with young children working outside the home in 1975, in 2000,
almost two-thirds of those mothers were employed outside the home.
A. while there was about one-third of mothers with young children
working outside the home in 1975, in 2000, almost two-thirds
of those mothers were employed outside the home.
B. there were about one-third of mothers with young children who
worked outside the home in 1975; in 2000, almost two-thirds
of those mothers were employed outside the home
C. in 1975 about one-third of mothers with young children worked
outside the home; in 2000, almost two-thirds of such mothers
were employed outside the home
D. even though in 1975 there were about one-third of mothers with
young children who worked outside the home, almost two-thirds
of such mothers were employed outside the home in 2000
E. with about one-third of mothers with young children working outside
the home in 1975, almost two-thirds of such mothers were
employed outside the home in 2000
answer

OA is C

Please explain why other answer choice wrong. "those mother" and "such mother" refer to 1/3 of mothers?

Hi tuanquang269 --

Yes, in both cases you asked about, "those mothers" and "such mothers" are references to the prior phrase as "one-third of mothers ..." (the whole phrase, including the "children" and the "working" parts, since that's what defines the group that the author is pointing to).

Here's how we analyzed the options:

First of all, it's important to recognize that "one-third of mothers" is PLURAL - we're talking about multiple mothers. So the verb needs to be 'were'

A: This can be restated to its essence of "about one-third of mothers was working..." - so this is disqualified.

B: "There were" is passive so this isn't an ideal choice, though it seems to be grammatically correct (?) - we tentatively ruled this one out as we went through the choices

C: this one reads well, we like this one grammatically, and it preserves the intended meaning of the original. Once we saw this one, we ruled out B since this one is better

D: the "even though" phrase in the first clause implies that the second clause will provide conflicting information, but in this case it doesn't (see a discussion of "even though" here https://www.beatthegmat.com/post425528.html )

E: the "with" phrase doesn't work with the "almost" clause thereafter, the meaning is messed up here.

Let us know if we can address any other questions you have here!

EssaySnark

Please underline the part of the question under study!!

Down to B and C.

Please explain if B is being eliminated in favour C only because of the difference of "those" and "such". Or is there any other problem also?

Thanks
Mankey

Hi Essay Snark,

Although I chose correct choice this sentence. But my reasoning in choice A is the state continuously of 'in 1975,in 2000'. Besides, after 'according to..data, while...'. I reasoned in my class that, after 'initial modifier', we should not use another 'modifier'. This is the case.

Am I correct. Thanks

mankey wrote:Down to B and C.

Please explain if B is being eliminated in favour C only because of the difference of "those" and "such". Or is there any other problem also?

Thanks
Mankey

Nope, I reasoned that as EssaySnark (about the passive voice), I chose C because it express the parallel structure, and I think 'those' and 'such' is not different here.

mankey wrote:Down to B and C.

Please explain if B is being eliminated in favour C only because of the difference of "those" and "such". Or is there any other problem also?

Hi Mankey--

On re-reading this today, we realize that what tuanquang269 was asking about originally is important, and that EssaySnark was wrong in what we said in our first response. "Those mothers" and "such mothers" are NOT referring to the same thing.

In B, "those mothers" is wrong because it would be talking about the same set of mothers who were working in 1975, with the second clause of B modifying that set further. This is ambiguous. Say there's 100,000 mothers in 1975, and 1/3 of them work outside the home, so 33,333. In B, the second clause is saying that in the year 2000, 2/3 of the ORIGINAL 33,333 are working outside the home -- so, 22,000. But the intended meaning of the sentence obviously is to reference 2/3 of the whole pool of working mothers, not 2/3 of the 1/3. That's why "those mothers" is wrong in B. (You all probably figured this out already! EssaySnark is a little slow sometimes.)

By contrast, "such mothers" means "mothers who are in this category" and so that phrase works.

In our first read-through, we didn't like B because of the "there are" phrasing, which is passive voice, but not grammatically wrong. You should not rely on the use of passive voice being a sole reason to disqualify an option.

And tuanquang269, what you asked about the "according to..." and "in 1975" -- those actually DO work fine together, there is no problem with that. The "according to" phrase is citing the source of the data, then "in 1975" and "in 2000" are pointing to categories or subsets within that data. The main problem with choice A is "was" in the first clause; that verb needs to be "were" instead.

Hope this helps and that we haven't further confused anyone!
EssaySnark

Hi EssaySnark,

I understood the different between 'such' and 'those/that'.

In choice A, I agree that the problem with helping verb 'was'. It is about quantifier + of + plural/singular noun + plural/singular verb and Flip It rule.

However, I still have question with modifier topic. I have read in MGMAT SC in page 86, it said that 'Avoid long sequences of modifiers that modify the same noun. Putting two long modifiers in a row before or after a noun can lead to awkward or incorrect phrasings'. This rule doesn't work in this case? Is this absolute rule?

Can you give me except example that is the same as choice A (Modifier, modifier, independent clause)?

Thank you again .

IMO C
Note: -VerbING followed by a concrete noun (WITHOUT COMMA) modifies that noun. This sentence clearly tests this concept apart from usage of relative pronoun "who"

The sentence clearly intends to compare mothers who worked outside the home in 1975 to the mothers who were employed outside the home in 2000.

A. while there was about one-third of mothers with young children
working outside the home in 1975, in 2000, almost two-thirds
of those mothers were employed outside the home.
B. there were about one-third of mothers with young children who
worked outside the home in 1975; in 2000, almost two-thirds
of those mothers were employed outside the home
C. in 1975 about one-third of mothers with young children worked
outside the home; in 2000, almost two-thirds of such mothers
were employed outside the home
D. even though in 1975 there were about one-third of mothers with
young children who worked outside the home, almost two-thirds
of such mothers were employed outside the home in 2000
E. with about one-third of mothers with young children working outside
the home in 1975, almost two-thirds of such mothers were
employed outside the home in 2000
answer

Doh!! B is one of those cases where we read what we thought it should say rather than what it does say!! And then no matter how many more times we read it, never caught that MAJOR issue with the "children who" -- very glad smackmartine came along to point out the obvious on this!!!

EssaySnark

essaysnark or other experts.

Sorry to recall this question, but i genuinely want your explanation.

I hesitate the choice between C and D,
eventually, i picked up D, because i thought the subject "one-third of women" follows "according to the United States census date" is illogical, i thought some date or some studies are according to the United States census date, rather than people are according to the United States census data

OA is C, I thought i must miss something, would you please elaborate further what should follows "according to ..."

Further more, are the following two sentences correct?
[highlight]Based on[/highlight] the accounts of ancient observers, [highlight]historians[/highlight] have pieced together a reasonably accurate picture of the original Greek Olympic Games
[highlight]according to[/highlight] the accounts of ancient observers, [highlight]historians[/highlight] have pieced together a reasonably accurate picture of the original Greek Olympic Games


Thanks in advance

Have a nice day
>_~