Financial Advisors now recommend retiring early in life despite mutual fund rates in Michigan and Ohio that are particularly low and little return on current accounts

1. early retirement in life even though mutual rates in Michigan and Ohio are particularly low and there is
2. retiring early in life eventhough the mutual fund rates are particularly low in Michigan and Ohio with

Between the two choices, can you please highlight the various errors as regards the use of gerund vs noun, use of conjunction with and improper choice of words, if any?[/i]