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imskpwr
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**GMAT WRITE ESSAY IS AFTER THIS ESSAY.
VERITAS:
The following appeared in the memo from the regional manager of the Luxe spa, a chain of high-end salons.
Over 75% of households in the town of parksboro have Jacuzzi bathtubs. In addition, the average family income in Parksboro is fifty percent higher than the national average, and a local store reports record-high sales of the most costly brands of hair and body products. With so much being spent on the personal care, Parksboro will be a profitable location for a new Luxe Spa - a salon that offers premium services at prices that are above average.
MY ESSAY
In the preceding memo, the regional manager concludes that Parksboro will be a profitable location for LUXE Spa. Manager supports his conclusion based on the evidences that in parksboro a lot of money is spent on Personal care products. At first this argument looks fine, but a closer look at the argument reveals the loopholes and flaws in reasoning of manager.
There are a lot of loopholes in the evidence provided by managers. Firstly, manager states that 75% of people have jacuzzi in home. But manager never states the actual number of people in parksboro. It could be possible that actual number of people in Parksboro is very less. Also, manager never stated anything about how more numbers of jacuzzi could relate to Luxe spa services or to personal care in general. Secondly, manager states that avg income of Parksboro citizen is 50% higher than the national avg. It is quite possible that the national avg income is very low. So a mere 50% high will also be not much. Thirdly, manager provides evidence of a local store report wherein sales of most costly brands are record high without proving the credibility of store's report. Also, It is not clear whether the report is representative of the sales of personal care products in Parksboro as a whole.
Besides unsubstantiated evidences, manager has made a lot of assumptions in the argument as well. Firstly, manager assumed that more % of jacuzzi means more actual number of the jacuzzis. Also, manager assumes that people with jacuzzi will be more conscious for personal care and will be keen on buying personal care products. Secondly, manager assumed that people have more income compared to national income and so they have more money available compared to other states to spend on personal care products. Thirdly, manager assumed that the local store is representative of the Parksboro population buying habits. Also manager assumed that the report is also representative of the stores sales figure in general. Fourthly, manager assumes that either there is/will be some surplus demand of spa facilities that will not be fulfilled by other competitors, Or if the surplus demand is not there, than people are not satisfied with the current levels of spa facilities available in parsbro.
On a whole, Manager could have supported his arguments by giving additional evidences about how the buying trends of parksboro people on personal care products are favorable for a brand like Luxe. He could have substantiated his premises by providing the actual numbers of households with jacuzzi. Also, he could have supported these numbers with how they are related with people buying spa facilities. Further, He could have also supported that an income 50% higher than national income is sufficient to indicate that people can afford such spa facilities. Moreover, he could have shown how the local store report is representative of Parksboro stores in general.
In sum, the manager's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. Clearly, manager would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
VERITAS:
The following appeared in the memo from the regional manager of the Luxe spa, a chain of high-end salons.
Over 75% of households in the town of parksboro have Jacuzzi bathtubs. In addition, the average family income in Parksboro is fifty percent higher than the national average, and a local store reports record-high sales of the most costly brands of hair and body products. With so much being spent on the personal care, Parksboro will be a profitable location for a new Luxe Spa - a salon that offers premium services at prices that are above average.
MY ESSAY
In the preceding memo, the regional manager concludes that Parksboro will be a profitable location for LUXE Spa. Manager supports his conclusion based on the evidences that in parksboro a lot of money is spent on Personal care products. At first this argument looks fine, but a closer look at the argument reveals the loopholes and flaws in reasoning of manager.
There are a lot of loopholes in the evidence provided by managers. Firstly, manager states that 75% of people have jacuzzi in home. But manager never states the actual number of people in parksboro. It could be possible that actual number of people in Parksboro is very less. Also, manager never stated anything about how more numbers of jacuzzi could relate to Luxe spa services or to personal care in general. Secondly, manager states that avg income of Parksboro citizen is 50% higher than the national avg. It is quite possible that the national avg income is very low. So a mere 50% high will also be not much. Thirdly, manager provides evidence of a local store report wherein sales of most costly brands are record high without proving the credibility of store's report. Also, It is not clear whether the report is representative of the sales of personal care products in Parksboro as a whole.
Besides unsubstantiated evidences, manager has made a lot of assumptions in the argument as well. Firstly, manager assumed that more % of jacuzzi means more actual number of the jacuzzis. Also, manager assumes that people with jacuzzi will be more conscious for personal care and will be keen on buying personal care products. Secondly, manager assumed that people have more income compared to national income and so they have more money available compared to other states to spend on personal care products. Thirdly, manager assumed that the local store is representative of the Parksboro population buying habits. Also manager assumed that the report is also representative of the stores sales figure in general. Fourthly, manager assumes that either there is/will be some surplus demand of spa facilities that will not be fulfilled by other competitors, Or if the surplus demand is not there, than people are not satisfied with the current levels of spa facilities available in parsbro.
On a whole, Manager could have supported his arguments by giving additional evidences about how the buying trends of parksboro people on personal care products are favorable for a brand like Luxe. He could have substantiated his premises by providing the actual numbers of households with jacuzzi. Also, he could have supported these numbers with how they are related with people buying spa facilities. Further, He could have also supported that an income 50% higher than national income is sufficient to indicate that people can afford such spa facilities. Moreover, he could have shown how the local store report is representative of Parksboro stores in general.
In sum, the manager's illogical argument is based on unsupported premises and unsubstantiated assumptions that render his conclusion invalid. Clearly, manager would have to largely restructure his argument, fix the flaws in his logic, clearly explicate his assumptions, and provide evidentiary support. Without these things, his poorly reasoned argument will likely convince few people.
Last edited by imskpwr on Tue Jul 08, 2014 10:43 am, edited 3 times in total.
