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Please rate my essay and provide valuable comments

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by samosa » Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:19 pm
“Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the key to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life”

In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.



Education has indeed become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. It acts as a driving factor to ensure success in life. In a highly competitive environment, the success of an individual solely depends on the knowledge and skills he has acquired and the ability to adapt to the society which is changing and developing rapidly. Education equips the individual for the same. In this essay, I shall present arguments favoring the statement.


We live in a society that lays strong emphasis on education. Central government and state governments of many countries, for example in India, have made education in schools mandatory for children up to the age of 16. This is done to ensure that the child will be able to learn the fundamental concepts and languages in a well structured environment in addition to be able to participate in extra curricular activities that equip the child with softer skills. Education in colleges and universities provides the platform to specialize in a certain group of subjects such as engineering, medicine, arts, law, administration etc, which would enable the individual to choose a profession that leads to success in life.


It is education that helped Srinivasa Ramanujam, who is famous for the contributions such as theorems in number theory and infinite series in field of mathematics, to be successful in life. Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru was able to lead a whole nation [India] towards industrialization because of the formal education and experience he gained over the years. Thousands of young engineers from India were successful in the field of information technology and in life because of the formal education in field of computer science they received. Vinodh Dham won’t have invented the microchip which is being used in almost 90% of all computers in the world, without the formal training he received from institutes of higher learning. A number of leaders in government and business would not have achieved success without the training they received in government administration or business administration.


With growing population and scarcity of jobs, education has gained utmost importance to any individual to be successful in life. Competition has reached new scales because of factors such as globalization, specialization and advancement in technology and demand for highly skilled human resources. And in such competitive environment, education plays the most important role to provide opportunities for success. Property and money are the materialistic benefits that one gains as a result of success in life.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by themaharaja1 » Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:19 pm
hey i am not an expert of essays...i have been struggling to get score of even 5...but i think ur essay is good and should get 5.5/6
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by samosa » Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:03 pm
Thanks maharaj!!!

Others, please help me out!!! I am very new to this forum / GMAT and AWA... thanks in advance

Cheers,
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