Hi there,
Would really appreciate if someone can take time out to review my AWA on Argument topic and provide with the feedback to reach the perfect score of 6.0.
Total Words:408
Time: Not timed. First Attempt.
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
The argument that the costs of processing goes down over a period of time solely because organizations learn to better things in a while is flawed since it completely overlooks any other factors that could be contributing to the cause.
Firstly, the article does not consider various other reasons that could have possibly caused the cost of processing to go down. As we embrace the technology today, we have been in awe of it at almost every field. The same piece of job that requires a colossal workforce or that demands a prolonged time could be accomplished by a new technology within no time. Thus saving labor cost, processing time and processing cost too. What if such a technology was introduced into the processing procedure that turned out to be a breakthrough in not only time efficiency but also helped cut down a major chunk of the processing costs? The argument then that the processing cost is reduced over a period of time merely due to the efficiency gained would be weakened.
Secondly, the assumption that since the improvement was witnessed by the color film processing, the same will be applicable to the Olympic Foods is overly generalized. The Color film processing and the Food Processing are not only different in their nature of use but also the way they are to be processed. The processing of food items, on one hand is to be done in salutary ways since the food is meant for consumption and is perishable over a time, whereas the color films do not have anything in this aspect to consider. Color films, on the other hand can be improvised tremendously technologically since there is a lot of scope to improve and innovate in this technologically inclined product. The food items however cannot be as much bettered since they have to do little with technology. Given the above differences and many more it thus becomes unreasonable to assume experience as the reason for the improvement in efficiency and thus reduction in processing costs as a universal yardstick applicable everywhere.
The article should therefore provide compelling reasoning and evidence to prove its point. For example, in what ways is the principle that is applicable to color film processing is similar to the food processing? Few more examples from different fields to bolster the claim how widely applicable is the idea of gaining efficiency with experience. Having provided such information the article will be more convincing.
Would really appreciate if someone can take time out to review my AWA on Argument topic and provide with the feedback to reach the perfect score of 6.0.
Total Words:408
Time: Not timed. First Attempt.
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
The argument that the costs of processing goes down over a period of time solely because organizations learn to better things in a while is flawed since it completely overlooks any other factors that could be contributing to the cause.
Firstly, the article does not consider various other reasons that could have possibly caused the cost of processing to go down. As we embrace the technology today, we have been in awe of it at almost every field. The same piece of job that requires a colossal workforce or that demands a prolonged time could be accomplished by a new technology within no time. Thus saving labor cost, processing time and processing cost too. What if such a technology was introduced into the processing procedure that turned out to be a breakthrough in not only time efficiency but also helped cut down a major chunk of the processing costs? The argument then that the processing cost is reduced over a period of time merely due to the efficiency gained would be weakened.
Secondly, the assumption that since the improvement was witnessed by the color film processing, the same will be applicable to the Olympic Foods is overly generalized. The Color film processing and the Food Processing are not only different in their nature of use but also the way they are to be processed. The processing of food items, on one hand is to be done in salutary ways since the food is meant for consumption and is perishable over a time, whereas the color films do not have anything in this aspect to consider. Color films, on the other hand can be improvised tremendously technologically since there is a lot of scope to improve and innovate in this technologically inclined product. The food items however cannot be as much bettered since they have to do little with technology. Given the above differences and many more it thus becomes unreasonable to assume experience as the reason for the improvement in efficiency and thus reduction in processing costs as a universal yardstick applicable everywhere.
The article should therefore provide compelling reasoning and evidence to prove its point. For example, in what ways is the principle that is applicable to color film processing is similar to the food processing? Few more examples from different fields to bolster the claim how widely applicable is the idea of gaining efficiency with experience. Having provided such information the article will be more convincing.
