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daffodil999
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Hello, This is an example of a GMAT AWA essay which I just wrote in 31.5 minutes (I know it had to be done in 30 minutes, I will try to do it correctly in the next time I write). Review from experts are very much awaited, thank you in advance!
Topic - The federal government often provides subsidies to certain traditional industries, such as agriculture. However, our economy has grown far more recently from the development of technology-based industries. The federal government should not subsidize traditional industries because it may prevent workers in these traditional industries from moving to technology-based industries that can offer greater benefits to the whole country.
The topic is a quite advanced one and a good point to ponder. While reading this topic, for any reader, many points will arise which affect the economy in reality. The thoughts of renowned economists matter the most but why not take the thoughts of ordinary, common people who are the backbone and blood of any economy in the world. Of course, thoughts of all such people are not required and wanted, but only those by whom this subject is understood and give their pros and con points.
In any economy, growth is always wanted. Growth is in the sense of things which people use regularly. An example is given is in this sense in the topic. It is really a huge one. It is said about traditional industries (like agriculture) whose growth paves the way for bigger industries. This results in the creation of growth.
The growth of such industries gives rise to modern/technology-based industries (as said above). This is absolutely true, for example, modern and best tractors are always required in the agricultural sector but without the technology and production of such tractors, good agriculture is impossible.
This is a side of the picture. Afterwards the topic says that government should not subsidize traditional industries as it may prevent workers from moving forward to technology-based industries. It is true that the country's economy benefits the most from technology-based industries but it doesn't mean that traditional industries are always working towards the loss of an economy. Since we are taking about technology, why not we put such technology in the traditional industries where it will result in gain and not loss? After all, modern technology is basically for that. If subsidies result in the indirect laziness of people working in traditional industries, why not put some true and strict conditions which will make people be alert and work towards its betterment, after all if this ultimately result in gain, gain and hard work go well within common public.
The ultimate game of any economy is profit with the betterment of common public and conditions. The betterment of technology-based industries is very important not only for the present but also for the future generation. But it should not be in the cost of all traditional industries. Its percentage may be small but such conditions should be arisen which will make it rise and shine towards a society.
Topic - The federal government often provides subsidies to certain traditional industries, such as agriculture. However, our economy has grown far more recently from the development of technology-based industries. The federal government should not subsidize traditional industries because it may prevent workers in these traditional industries from moving to technology-based industries that can offer greater benefits to the whole country.
The topic is a quite advanced one and a good point to ponder. While reading this topic, for any reader, many points will arise which affect the economy in reality. The thoughts of renowned economists matter the most but why not take the thoughts of ordinary, common people who are the backbone and blood of any economy in the world. Of course, thoughts of all such people are not required and wanted, but only those by whom this subject is understood and give their pros and con points.
In any economy, growth is always wanted. Growth is in the sense of things which people use regularly. An example is given is in this sense in the topic. It is really a huge one. It is said about traditional industries (like agriculture) whose growth paves the way for bigger industries. This results in the creation of growth.
The growth of such industries gives rise to modern/technology-based industries (as said above). This is absolutely true, for example, modern and best tractors are always required in the agricultural sector but without the technology and production of such tractors, good agriculture is impossible.
This is a side of the picture. Afterwards the topic says that government should not subsidize traditional industries as it may prevent workers from moving forward to technology-based industries. It is true that the country's economy benefits the most from technology-based industries but it doesn't mean that traditional industries are always working towards the loss of an economy. Since we are taking about technology, why not we put such technology in the traditional industries where it will result in gain and not loss? After all, modern technology is basically for that. If subsidies result in the indirect laziness of people working in traditional industries, why not put some true and strict conditions which will make people be alert and work towards its betterment, after all if this ultimately result in gain, gain and hard work go well within common public.
The ultimate game of any economy is profit with the betterment of common public and conditions. The betterment of technology-based industries is very important not only for the present but also for the future generation. But it should not be in the cost of all traditional industries. Its percentage may be small but such conditions should be arisen which will make it rise and shine towards a society.
