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andrewpaulsimmons
- Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
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GMAT Essay Prompt
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Eight years ago, our firm's profits were increasing with each new employee we added. We discovered that each employee had the skills and motivation to generate more revenue for the firm than his or her salary cost us. However, for the past two years, our profit margin has been falling, even though we have continued to add employees. Thus, our newer employees are not generating enough revenue to justify their salaries. We must not be hiring new employees with the same level of skills and motivation as those we used to attract. Clearly, then, failures in the human resources department account for our falling profits.
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My Essay
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While the conclusion that the human resources department's failure to find skilled and motivated employees has caused the companies profits to fall is conceivably correct, there are many other factors which are disregarded in this argument. To start, both internal and external factors should be considered to evaluate the drop on profitability. The argument does not address how the market has changed over the past eight years. Additionally, the argument does not consider how the company has grown relative to the size of the market. Finally, no tests or other metrics are provided which juxtapose current productivity with previous productivity rates.
First, no information is given regarding how the company has been forced to compete. It is possible that a new similar business is driving down profits. The argument provides no insight to the companies current competitive stance and factors which may be adding to or reducing overall productivity. Another factor that can drive down profits is the overall economic state. The argument would be improved if it demonstrated that the external factors today were similar to the past .
Second, over the past 8 years the company may have grown considerably. It is possible that the company has grown to fill or even exceed the market demand. As more employees came in to the organization the workload became spread too thin. The argument only speaks about the entire employee body. It is possible that there are lot's of lower-level producers and too few sales people. The opposite would could be true. The argument could be strengthened greatly if it demonstrated that the human resource department had hired an unbalanced team. Unfortunately the argument provides no insight into the hiring strategies used by the HR department.
Third, while unskilled or unmotivated employees can be detrimental to the success of any organization, this argument does not share any information which allows the reader to gauge the real overall productivity of current employees in such a way that it can be compared to the overall productivity of employees eight years ago. Nevertheless, even assuming that the employees are less productive this does not mean that they did not start their career with this company as motivated and productive individuals. There could be bad management throughout the organization which demotivate otherwise capable employees. The argument would be strengthened if it addressed the quality of management in general.
In conclusion, the argument does not provide the details which are essential to evaluating the real cause of the downturn in profits currently experienced by this company. This lack of information weakens the argument and makes it difficult to determine whether the human resources department had any part in reduced profit-to-higher ratio. The argument would have been much stronger had it provided statistics on the current state of the market and overall employee productivity for today and the past. In short, the argument is formed on assertions and speculation which are weakly justified or not justified at all.
GMAT Essay Prompt
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Eight years ago, our firm's profits were increasing with each new employee we added. We discovered that each employee had the skills and motivation to generate more revenue for the firm than his or her salary cost us. However, for the past two years, our profit margin has been falling, even though we have continued to add employees. Thus, our newer employees are not generating enough revenue to justify their salaries. We must not be hiring new employees with the same level of skills and motivation as those we used to attract. Clearly, then, failures in the human resources department account for our falling profits.
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--------------
My Essay
----------------------------------------------------
While the conclusion that the human resources department's failure to find skilled and motivated employees has caused the companies profits to fall is conceivably correct, there are many other factors which are disregarded in this argument. To start, both internal and external factors should be considered to evaluate the drop on profitability. The argument does not address how the market has changed over the past eight years. Additionally, the argument does not consider how the company has grown relative to the size of the market. Finally, no tests or other metrics are provided which juxtapose current productivity with previous productivity rates.
First, no information is given regarding how the company has been forced to compete. It is possible that a new similar business is driving down profits. The argument provides no insight to the companies current competitive stance and factors which may be adding to or reducing overall productivity. Another factor that can drive down profits is the overall economic state. The argument would be improved if it demonstrated that the external factors today were similar to the past .
Second, over the past 8 years the company may have grown considerably. It is possible that the company has grown to fill or even exceed the market demand. As more employees came in to the organization the workload became spread too thin. The argument only speaks about the entire employee body. It is possible that there are lot's of lower-level producers and too few sales people. The opposite would could be true. The argument could be strengthened greatly if it demonstrated that the human resource department had hired an unbalanced team. Unfortunately the argument provides no insight into the hiring strategies used by the HR department.
Third, while unskilled or unmotivated employees can be detrimental to the success of any organization, this argument does not share any information which allows the reader to gauge the real overall productivity of current employees in such a way that it can be compared to the overall productivity of employees eight years ago. Nevertheless, even assuming that the employees are less productive this does not mean that they did not start their career with this company as motivated and productive individuals. There could be bad management throughout the organization which demotivate otherwise capable employees. The argument would be strengthened if it addressed the quality of management in general.
In conclusion, the argument does not provide the details which are essential to evaluating the real cause of the downturn in profits currently experienced by this company. This lack of information weakens the argument and makes it difficult to determine whether the human resources department had any part in reduced profit-to-higher ratio. The argument would have been much stronger had it provided statistics on the current state of the market and overall employee productivity for today and the past. In short, the argument is formed on assertions and speculation which are weakly justified or not justified at all.
